Arcades, Street Fighter 2, and Becoming a Man (802 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.12 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ardubs (View user info) at 2004-11-18 22:23:34 EST
Remember arcades? Those smoky holes in the wall, usually located downtown in between a strip joint and a rub-and-tug? They had all these tall-ass machines with seizure-inducing light displays accompanied by a cacophony of chaotic sounds. There was always a fat and greasy fuck patrolling the filthy red carpet wearing a hip sack full of quarters. Indeed, this is the only place anyone is allowed to be seen in public wearing a hip sack. I knew a guy once who thought his neon green hip sack was awesome. A few days later he was nothing but a wasted pile of human failure and his carcass was crawling with maggots. Nobody likes a hip sack wearing motherfucker, especially the dudes who took his life.
Anyway, this one game you might remember, entitled Street Fighter 2, changed my entire outlook on arcades. Instead of being a place where street kids and losers in general congregated—well, it still was that place, but it had SF2. Ry-motherfucking-u.
It wasn't any surprise to see a huge line-up of prepubescent boys impatiently waiting for their turn to grab the greasy stick and smash the buttons. This game was simply the best thing an arcade had ever seen since electricity. Of course, this was all before you spoiled little brats had the ability to play such games in the comfort of your own home on your "Nintendo" machines. Hell, I had to walk to the arcade in ten feet of snow in my bare feet. It was up-hill both ways. I would have killed for one of these Nintendo gizmos to welcome me home from my grueling journey.
Unfortunately, I wasn't all that great at SF2, but I'm not Asian, so it's no big deal. Maybe it was because I always played as Ryu and never learned how to handle the other seven players. Or maybe (and more accurately) I just didn't pump as many quarters into the slot as the other kids did.
I've always had the opinion that you can tell a lot about a person by the character they choose to play as. Personally, I always chose Ryu or Ken, who are obviously identical twins who were separated at birth and have different mothers and fathers, or if you want to split hairs, were trained by the same supreme elite ninja master named Sheng Long. I remember when me and my friends used to imitate Ryu's fighting stance in the schoolyard at recess. We were in grade four, so it's cool. One time me and my friend Simon even consulted the mangled and soiled game manual and memorized what Ryu and Ken say when they defy gravity and perform the legendary "hurricane kick." For all you sorry sons of bitches who never bothered to learn how to execute this phenomenal offensive bombardment, the controller patterns are as follows: down, down and back, back, then any kick button. Ten years later, I still remember it word for word: "tatsu-maki-senpu-kayaku." If I were a betting man, I'd wager my life savings that this means something like "stupid north-American children make their parents purchase Japanese game and imitate on schoolyard."
By now I'm tired of explaining just how cool Capcom's Street Fighter 2 game cartridge magazine grey-cased microchip is. You'll just have to play it and find out yourself. My buddy Dave owns a pawn shop and he won't part with a SF2 cartridge for less than three dollars, so you know it's a good investment. It also turns boys into men.
Ha-do-ken!
User Reviews
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Did I say four, that's because I'm an idiot: six buttons, six fucking buttons.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-01-24 14:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I remember how lost i felt playing a fighting game with four buttons. It was a different world. Now, I am a Street Fighter II Pro.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-19 11:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TA-TSU-MAKI-KEN-PU-KYA-KU! Oh yeah!
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-11-19 06:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So much squandered potential.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-11-19 06:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always like Marvel vs. Capcom and S.T.U.N. Runner.
We had a "Jolly Time Arcade." It was right next to a shoestore called "Athlete's Foot" on the upper level of Town Center Mall, near Rich's.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-19 06:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:15:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
SF2 was cool, but nothing beats mortal kombat. when that shit first hit the arcades, it was insane. people would actually get into real fist fights if they lost. one dude even ripped another dude's spinal cord out just for cuttin' in line to play.
---------
Mortal Combat sucked the sweat from a dead man's balls compared to SF2.
Ah-Yu-Ken!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:15:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
SF2 was cool, but nothing beats mortal kombat. when that shit first hit the arcades, it was insane. people would actually get into real fist fights if they lost. one dude even ripped another dude's spinal cord out just for cuttin' in line to play.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-18 22:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Haadoken" "Sonic Boom" and anything that treats Yoga as an aggressive and dangerous art used for the manipulation of body and fire will always have my +2s...
Submitted by Happy-Tree-Friend (user info) at 2004-11-18 22:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Would have been a +2 if there was a rabbit!
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-11-18 22:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember playing SF2 in an Arcade a LOT as a kid and getting my ass kicked constantly. Then I started playing as Ken and became a God. I think I still have a copy of it on SNES...