Red Sox and Riots, Tear Gas and Tities (1124 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.44 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ikebomber (View user info) at 2004-11-18 23:53:39 EST
This post is really late...mostly because I'm lazy.
Living in the heart of Boston has given me the unique opportunity to participate in a spectacular and amazingly stupid phenomenon: the sports riot. Granted, I've never been around for a European World Cup win--and I don't plan on it--but dumb, drunk Boston townies celebrating the game they've been dreaming of since birth are a reasonable fit. I was out of town for the ALCS riot, but the World Series is also a good candidate, albeit one without rubber bullets.
I live about four blocks from Fenway Park. So after drinking at a bunch of bars and a friend's house, we--we being me and my stupid friends--ran down to Kenmore Square to join the festivities. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't give a flying fuck about the Red Sox. As an Indians fan, I'm ambivalent about the team that everyone seems to think is so great. But I would never, ever miss a good riot.
The area around Fenway was thick with people. Drunk, happy people. They all wanted to give me a high-five and a hug and yell "Go Red Sox!" with me. These are complete strangers that I probably cut off on the highway this morning. They were all my best friend, and I proved it by shouting "Go Red Sox" back, except louder and with a fist-pump. It wasn't violent, just a little bit stupid.
Then there were the tities: girls on shoulders flashing people--like at rock concerts, except they were all cute BU girls instead of those weird flat-chested dykes with logos of their favorite punk bands sewn into their clothing. These were bulbous, happy tits. I like tits.
To the hyperventilating rabid sports fan, everything is four syllables long. That way, it can be chanted. "Let's go Red Sox!" "Fuck the Yankees!" etc. As the night went on, it became "Please don't shoot me!" "Fuck the police!" and--my favorite--"I like tear gas!"
You see, things started to get out of hand. We were all milling around, watching people make asses of themselves trying to breakdance, getting contact highs off other people's weed, and joining in on whatever inane chant everyone had inexplicably taken up. Then random guys, suddenly bored with the pursuit of boob flashes, began climbing on things: trees, streetlights, stoplights. They threw bottles. Then they started fires. Then they threw smoke bombs. It was pretty cool.
The riot cops didn't think so, though, and they began to march forward from what seemed like all directions with billyclubs and shields. There were mounted cops too. (Now honestly, in this day in age, why do we need mounted police? Those horses shit everywhere.) The police were aggressive. As we all ran away from them, I saw one guy stumble and fall, dropping his cell phone. When he turned around to pick it up, he was nailed by barrage of clubs. Sucks to be him.
This is when people started throwing things at the police. Apparently they don't like that. They set off tear gas and advanced. Every time we thought we were in a safe place to stand, we realized we were actually surrounded by cops who didn't want us there. Also, our eyes stung. It was fucked up, because there really wasn't anywhere to go, given that we were packed between a sea of people and a cloud of tear gas.
Eventually, the police decided to disperse the crowd by herding us all west. To accomplish this, they launched pepper spray grenades. These things were cool; they flew through the air leaving a trail of red gas, then exploded with a loud bang. Everyone ran, then slowed down, then yelled at the cops. Repeat. "I LIKE TEAR GAS!"
After a few close calls with law enforcement projectiles, we took a sidestreet and headed home. At least I didn't get shot in the eye. Here's to the Red Sox.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was also awesome. I look forward to more o your work.
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-11-19 10:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AUTO Sox +2
Also, titties has two T's. Well, three actually.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-19 09:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-11-19 01:14:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOOOO TRIBE!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by BlueTsunami (user info) at 2004-11-19 07:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the Red Sox...but I love tities to....I was expecting a picture of a local cutie flashing her tattas...but I am now dissapointed, +1 for the Red Sox though. WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING THEY WON THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES +2 WOOOOOOOO
P.S - I guess I'll have to see some tities at the local titty bar. YEAH!!!!!!
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-11-19 01:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOOOO TRIBE!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-19 01:11:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why i'm up this late, I don't know. Well, I do. And it's not cuz i want to be. This post doesn't help my mood.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love Bostonians. They have such a blatant disgregard for their health and personal safety.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Red Sox= auto +2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nothin like a good ol' riot to celebrate THE RED SOX WINNING THE WORLD SERIES!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO