Girls with bad taste think I'm hot PLUS A CAMWHORE! (2368 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: camwhore
Rating: 0.62 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AsshOly (View user info) at 2004-11-19 12:02:11 EST
When you're a quiet guy you don't always meet many new people. If you don't ever put forth the energy to leave your room you will meet even less.
I am one of these people. I don't meet new people, ever. I meet the friends of my friends. I'm not saying I'm a loser, just introverted. One of my good girl friends told me one time, "Andrew, if I didn't know you personally, I would think you were a total lame-ass." All I wanted to do was sit and hang out. No new people.
...Unless they come up and talk to me. This is how I meet Hot Chicks. I don't go pick up girls. That's just not the way I am. Girls come up to ME and talk to ME.
But the problem is, every girl who comes up to talk to me thinks I'm adorable. Ok, I cant blame them, but geez, I can use some friends who don't think I'm a fine piece of ass. Every girl who gets to know me falls in love with me. Damn these good looks and abnormally large penis!
It seems, as well, like whenever I hear about a girl I know, she likes me. "Oh, Kelly? Isnt she the one that likes you?" "Natalie, the volleyball player, the one that likes you, she went fuck the rest of the sentence..." "Right now I like...Bobby, Rich...I used to like you but now youre like my brother." I'm not kidding people, I hear this shit much too much. I'm not bragging. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true. I'm not even proud. I hate it. I want girl FRIENDS.
But every girl I know likes me. Once she gets to know me, she cant hold back. I've accepted it. Out of all these girls, I don't date much. I don't like dating. I think it's a waste of time. So I am very picky with my girls.
But that's a different post for a different time. I'm getting to my point. I really am. And it is: If every girl you date has real bad taste in guys, what does that say about you?
Every girl I have gotten involved with over the past couple years has had the worst taste imaginable, and they all loved me. The list, since the beginning of senior year in high school:
Lauren - We liked each other for four years. We played around for four months. We dated for four days. No shit. I always figured she would be my wife because I could never get her off my mind. But we broke up because I told her to stop dating other guys while we were dating (long story...again, not for today) and she didn't. We broke up. The other guys SUCKED. Totally lame, totally ugly. I hated each of them. The other guys she's dated? Not much better.
Krystyn - My other girlfriend. She has had bad relationships because she dates total jerk-offs. She became suicidal. That's how bad her boyfriends have been. She didn't turn gay, like most girls would. And should. Girl-on-girl action is hot. She tried to kill herself like nineteen times. They were like death metal spiked-dog-collar-even-though-youre-five-feet-tall-and-one-hundred-pounds-wearing kids. I made her better because I'm a pseudoGod.
Melanie - Krystyn's friend. I met her through Krystyn after we broke up. Krystyn tried to hook me up with her but got mad when I almost did. Melanie was the closest I have ever been to having sex. She got me drunk and if she wasn't a smoker I'd have laid the pipe to her good. But the guy she was coming out of a relationship with was, again, a loser. Her guys range from fat and stupid to fat and stupid. And two of them picked a fight with me. He tried to tackle me from behind, fell down when he hit me, and got up and walked off when he saw I hardly even moved. The other guy followed. Yeah, they were cunts. And ugly. I forgot to mention for the other two. The other guys were all ugly. (interesting side-note: Melanie was expelled for giving too many guys head in the bathroom. THEY were just ok.)
Nivia - I never liked her, but, boy, she liked me. Why, yes! Yes, she was a psycho. The guys she dated looked like toads its not that she was bad-looking just insane ok next.
Sarah - Another psycho. This one liked me a just a littlebit less than life. I liked her like three years ago. She came too late. And then tried to destroy my life. Her past boyfriends were actually all really cool. Athletic and funny as hell. She is the one exception on this list. The other guys were all lobotomy patients. Failed lobotomy.
Ewa - Krystyn's friend, again. She liked me while I was dating Krystyn. Her boyfriends, again, all were ugly and stupid.
Natalie - I wanted to date her really badly. The guy she was dating was cool and good-looking. BUT, he was a Jehovah's Witness. Come on!
Talia - Talia and I would have gotten together if I wasn't leaving for school and if her best friend wasn't so damn hot. I think she liked me too, but I never wanted to ask. I thought Talia would kill me. Her boyfriend at the time was a big loser, again, but this one saw it.
Vicki - Wanted my nuts in the worst way. I made the mistake of sleeping (as in, the act of sleeping) with her earlier here at school and she wouldn't leave me the fuck alone after that. I hate her. She loves me. Make her go away. The other guys she's hooked up with here have been...I would rather get fucked by a Dalmatian than some of these guys if I was a girl.
Kat - Liked my roommate, asked me to come hang out, stopped liking my roommate, began stalking me. This is a fun story. She's a psycho. I should have written that above: Psychos are attracted to me. But she is a skank and has slept with countless guys here. A couple were alright. She's not bad looking either, and even a blind squirrel will find nuts once in a while. Some of those guys though, well, I think she's blind.
Nichole - My current girlfriend. She's the only girl I've ever loved. Nichole is great, but she is what got me thinking about this. I keep getting compared to her exes (better kisser than even Leonard, better-looking than Justin, etc.), who, I must say, leave a bit to be desired. Nichole is really hot, but her boyfriends haven't been. And I'm going to eat their arms if I ever meet them.
That's all of them. But do you see what I mean? All my girls have HORRIBLE taste in guys.
I am afraid this means I'm part of the trend. The girls think ugly guys are hot. Those girls all thought I was hot. I am ugly.
Uber, I am ugly. This sucks.
So feel free to call me ugly just as much as you want, then some more. Tell me I have a misshaped head. Tell me I need a vasectomy so I don't pass along my traits. Tell me I would look better with a gunshot wound in the temple. I can take it all.
I need a beer.
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-10-01 01:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the lights. You've seen my hair. I'm not a freak :(
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-27 15:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what happened to your hair?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-09-27 15:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was exaggerating with krystyn... kind of. she used to cut herself pretty often and ended up in a mental hospital. she forgot to mention when we started dating that she'd only gotten out two weeks earlier.
umm, that's not true anymore, jeveux. i think youve read some of my other emo shit on this site.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-09-27 04:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Krystyn tried to commit suicide like 19 times and is still alive?
the fuck?
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-27 04:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i changed my mind honesty has to count for something
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-27 04:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Melanie was the closest I have ever been to having sex
hahahhahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-09-27 04:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-09-23 05:13:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are all those girls who find you so irresistable blind?
Christ, boy, between the vacant expression on your face and ears that flap in the wind I can't think of any reason why they'd find you attractive.
Your lack of modesty doesn't help either.
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Somebody didnt get it...
I just typed a long-winded response to this, but since it boiled down to the point that I dont care what you think, so I am going to
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-23 05:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHA. This is the best laugh I've had in weeks.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-09-23 05:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are all those girls who find you so irresistable blind?
Christ, boy, between the vacant expression on your face and ears that flap in the wind I can't think of any reason why they'd find you attractive.
Your lack of modesty doesn't help either.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-09-23 04:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was this a joke? Or is that you?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-09-23 04:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some of the shit I used to write is flat-out stupid. This is a prime example.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-08 13:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell is wrong with your arm? Jesus, talk about being double-jointed.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-29 22:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Krystyn, the second girl on that list, just read through this and thought it was hilarious. You can ask her why she liked me so much. I couldnt tell you.
Submitted by doesntmatter (user info) at 2004-11-29 22:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
umm...well...if you're this jerky, then why do all these girls like you? sorry im a little confused...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:39:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-24 06:57:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Very, very bad taste.
Oly says: Obviously, that was the point of the post.
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Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-24 06:43:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Modest with it, aren't you?!
Oly says: I'm talking to a bunch of dorks I dont know. Why should I talk myself up?
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-24 06:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Very, very bad taste.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-24 06:43:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Modest with it, aren't you?!
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-24 06:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I should just kill off all the competition and make myself the hottest by default.
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You could kill off everyone else, but then you would also be the ugliest by default...
"Ah the two sweetest words in the english language: DE FAULT! DE FAULT! DE FAULT!"
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know, I think about the same thing sometimes. Here's just a brief history of relationships my husband had before he met me:
Cheryl: Ex-fiancee, bull-dyke. Has somehow managed to sleep with all four of this generation's men in his family (him and all three of his brothers.) Skanky? I'll go with yes.
Darlene: Burnout, two kids, did coke while she was pregnant and lost the third. Loud, obnoxious, and the spanish version of white trash.
Sonia: This one is actually somewhat like me in some respects, only much more devious. She's cute and all, but slutty. Cheated on her first husband, divorced him to marry the second guy, cheated on THAT guy with Shawn. He was shocked when she ended up cheating on him, too.
Theresa: Married, ten years older than him, ugly, pretty much treated him like her personal prostitute, until she decided she loved him. At which point she started stalking him.
Nancy: Fat, disgusting, trashy, psychotic. Still harasses no not him of course, but me.
Most of the other guys I've dated have similar track records. This sometimes makes me wonder why guys who are attracted to women like that end up attracted to me. And if something is seriously wrong with me that I don't know about.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shaun has it right...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-22 17:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Girls with bad taste think I'm hot PLUS A CAMWHORE! (666 hits)
666 -- Whoa.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this.
I have the opposite problem.
All the females I know just want to be friends.
Not that I would want to change that (except mayby with 1 or 10 of them).
-Davros
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What? Were they gay?
ATTN GHEY MENZ
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:31:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Guy #2: That's why gay guys are smarter than us?
-----------------
That's an entirely different random quote
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guy #2: That's why gay guys are smarter than us?
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-22 15:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guy #1: "Dude I have it all figured out! Guys are dumb and chicks are crazy."
Guy #2: "Why are guys dumb?"
Guy #1: "Because we don't understand crazy people."
"I like you, I have terrible taste, but I like you"
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-20 02:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I should just kill off all the competition and make myself the hottest by default.
Submitted by Niko_Ender (user info) at 2004-11-20 02:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the girls that like you need a few less beers.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
+2 for scoring with the chicks though.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
well... you're deffinately an asshole
Oly says: Yes, yes, I am. Thank you.
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Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:22:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe there is something about you that you don't see but they can.
Oly says: I asked my girlfriend and she told me I am two things: a loser, a retard.
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Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:03:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not hot... not ugly... but I would enjoy that bottom lip. :)
Oly says: You have no idea.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well... you're deffinately an asshole
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe there is something about you that you don't see but they can.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-19 19:03:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not hot... not ugly... but I would enjoy that bottom lip. :)
Submitted by Libra (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:04:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
your girlfriend has masculine hands
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she takes growth hormones. And she sometimes looks like an Asian guy with glasses.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your girlfriend has masculine hands.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nivia, the biggest psycho of them all, just sent me a text message.
From: Nivia, For Men (I told her her name was that of an aftershave balm when I first met her. I think thats how she became attracted to me)
"Hey baby boy wats up? Iwant to c u i havnt seen u in like forever."
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2004-11-19 16:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A chance to hitwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42056
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was funny. You're far from ugly, that's for sure.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:05:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
All girls who like you are psychos because all girls are psychos.
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Touche. But there is normal psycho, then asylum psycho, then there is girls who like me psycho.
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All girls who like you are psychos because all girls are psychos.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like you're good for one thing - THE MOTHERFUCKING ARMY, BOY!
That's right; your days of finger-banging ol' Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 14:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by athena (user info) at 2004-11-19 14:08:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh no I do have bad taste
you are hot
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Oh yeah! +2 for you
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-11-19 14:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA! Man alive I don't know why I liked this so much. It's like you are bragging and cuttting yourself up at the same time.
Submitted by athena (user info) at 2004-11-19 14:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh no I do have bad taste
you are hot
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lots of friends. I just don't let them anywhere near me.
Except for the broads. I prefer they rub up against me like a vine on a tree.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa. I'm not looking for advice, but thanks.
Im 18 ckoewing, and Im pretty big. I dont know what youre talking about...
Shlongy, the picture was taken at Senior Breakfast last year. The last time I see a bunch of friends = I'm going to take pictures with them. He sent me the picture online and its the best one I have of myself. When buddies pose for pictures they put their arms on each other's shoulders.
You dont have buddies? No friends?
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some day you will realize that these "women" are really just silly little girls trying to stuff their cornchutes with loads and loads of hot man butter.
Wait a few years for a more mature woman, preferably one that has supported herself for a few years. A healthy dose of reality can do wonders for a personality.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:58:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a perfect match for you- right here in Uberland.
This slutty chick named professor fuckface sounds like an E harmony match for you. Look him up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a perfect match for you- right here in Uberland.
This slutty chick named professor fuckface sounds like an E harmony match for you. Look him up.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ditto what schlongy said nancy boy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. Walking with a guy's arm around your neck, arm and arm, I imagine, isn't helping matters much.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, they lied, Opie.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Alright...*deep breath*
It sounds as if you have a nice selection to pick from. Just grab the one you want, pick her up like a six-pack, and mark your territory.
Being in the "friend zone" sucks, and that's the only way to break out.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I dressed up in skimpy clothes, and covered myself in cheese, would you love me more?
Please?
Submitted by ckoewing (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude how old are you 15? seriously though, i was that small when i was 13, damn, i'm sorry man. hey but if you are 15, you still got time!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Being liked is such an inconvenience.
Making yourself appear inaccessible....THAT'S the key! When you show them that you just don't give a FUCK, and are willing to divulge only pieces of yourself at a time, just enough to begin the salivation process, all the while subtly reminding them that are not even worthy of obstructing the shadow that you cast toward the ground, only then will they be a pain in the ass and try to sweat your nutsack. Therefore, I don't recommend doing ANYTHING that I just said in order to avoid their constant distraction from your important task of peering through the keyhole of the universe high atop your internal mountain of Buddhist meditaion.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, you missed the point. Cheers!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:21:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Since when do real men give a fuck what chicks want?
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Good point. But if they want to get laid frequently, they
better care.
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wow.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All the fucking time.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Quit being a faggot pussy and be a goddamn man. Chicks wanna see a strong man, they want to be taken care of, and fucked like porn stars. "
Since when do real men give a fuck what chicks want?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dont let him fool you, he's a rock solid pimp.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:09:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEE! At least you get women. I'm stuck masturbating into socks.
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You know where to find me. Hey, i thought we were hittin up
some frat party somewhere??!?!?!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:10:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
Quit being a faggot pussy and be a goddamn man. Chicks wanna see a strong man, they want to be taken care of, and fucked like porn stars.
Believe me, I speak the truth.
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He is right on!!
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh Shit, I thought they killed Tim McVeigh!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Quit being a faggot pussy and be a goddamn man. Chicks wanna see a strong man, they want to be taken care of, and fucked like porn stars.
Believe me, I speak the truth.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your style.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEE! At least you get women. I'm stuck masturbating into socks.
Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
H O L Y Shit