Clockwork Plaid, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Trapper Keeper (1145 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.55 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Big Jay <jgreening072.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-19 12:39:16 EST
No, the title has nothing to do with the story, really.
Except the plaid and the nuns.
This is my tale of my first, shortest and BEST love.
I was 13. Not a bad age to fall in love, but not an overall great one, either.
I started puberty about a year before that, made my first "O" face to a Fredrick's of Hollywood catalouge a few months ago, and I started attending a Catholic Junior High.
I remember my first day, getting dressed in the uniform of a short-sleeved shirt, red and yellow striped tie, and tan pants. I looked like a complete idjit. I hated it with a passion. Took my mother 4 tries to get my tie straight, because I was fussing around so much.
I mean, my little brother, Eric, was going to public elementary school, and he was wearing jean shorts and cool Desert Storm T-shirt.
I had a school-satchel for my books, he had a bad-ass TMNT backpack.
Me, plain red or yellow folders.
Him, Bon Jovi Trapper-Keepers.
Again, I was a little peeved.
Anyway, my Dad took me to school that morning, while my Mom took Eric. And as my Dad pulls up to the school, he makes a comment I don't think I quite understood.
He said "Watch out for the skirts the Nuns."
"Um, OK. I guess. Can I take off this tie yet?"
With that, I got out of the car, and walked into the school.
First thought? "Wow. Every other guy has a Mom with crappy taste in clothes."
Then I saw them. The most wonderful set of legs I'd ever seen in person.
And attached to them, a red and yellow plaid skirt that stopped just an inch from the top of the knee.
This wonderful creature was walking across me, and my GOD was she gorgeous. Remember, this was middle school. She had to be 15. Sweater puppies starting to really form, and GOD... Those LEGS... Smooth as silk, and I'm sure that they get better under the skirt. Now I know what my Dad meant by "look out for the skirts."
I'm stopped in the middle of the hallway, just staring, wishing I could touch them, taste them, split them in half.
*whack* What the hell!
WTF???
A ruler???
*whack* *whack* Another couple of shots!
Who the hell is hitting me with a *whack* ruler?
Well, now I know what my dad meant by "and the nuns."
Thirty minutes later, I'm sitting in the headmaster's office, with my father, being scolded for touching my johnson in the middle of the hallway...
Next day I'm back in public school...
At least I got a cool Trapper Keeper now...
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE BELIEVE YOUR TRUE/NOT TRUE LABEL YOU RETARDED FAT MONKEYGREASE EATING SPASTIC
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
False. First person storytelling.
Submitted by Tr4ppedunderice (user info) at 2006-04-08 00:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOING!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-08 00:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Going down in a BLAZE OF GLORY!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-08 00:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love watching ETS go off the deep end, it's so satisfying
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-04-08 00:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"why don't ya come and get one in the yarbals... if yeh've got any yarbals..."
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-04-08 00:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is for sucking Method's dick like a little bitch. Are you that desperate for friends?
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man... nothing really does to my thought process what the idea of catholic school girls does to it. It just kinda, shuts down, and loops over and over with pictures of.... ::drools::
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-01-03 13:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-01-03 13:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 pic
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-19 16:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
amusing
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lost my virginity to a sweet young thing from Mother of Sorrows Preparatory School for Women. She hiked up her red/black plaid skirt, revealing nothing but a pair of white thigh-high stockings and straddled me in the front seat of my 1980 Chevy Malibu. Ahhh...good times.
Hated Catholic School. But I did love me them Catholic School girls....
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The story wasn't worth a 2.
But the story + that random title = 2.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-11-19 13:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, blitzkriegy one, perhaps it has something to do with ancient homosexual customs in Scotland.
nasty.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the pic... yummy...
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two for a ver hot chick.
Uh. I mean.
Good story.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i loved catholic school.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for -what else?- the pic.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Effin' A.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...but yet, I am strangely attracted to women wearing plaid.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-19 12:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hated Catholic school.