The Holy Grail - How to Make a Post That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (9687 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.52 on 260 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lojope_has_a_Fetish_Fetish (View user info) at 2004-11-19 19:07:25 EST
Todays External Name submitted by AlahAckbar ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/48380#876888 )
That is right, I am about to let the cat out of the bag and explain how it is possible to make a post that is engineered to produce as many hits as possible. This repository of hitwhoring information could perhaps be the Holy Grail you have been searching for. Read it closely, understand it, be it. Let me say again: Read it closely, understand it, be it.
I have kept this a secret. As I will soon stop posting, I am sharing this with all of you. The great thing is that Bart cannot stop it. It works by making YOU click on the post numerous times. The only way Bart can stop that is to remove the post. Another great thing is that it requires no support on your end; you do not have to be a programmer, write a bot, press F5, or any of those things. However, you need to know some general psychology. You will need to motivate people to read your shit.
To the crybabies who have whined that it is simply refreshing my own posts, you are sadly mistaken. Some of you have cried so loudly that Bart pulled me from the MVA. Even your fearless leader has not figured out what I am about to tell you. This method worked so well, that I received over 1000 hits in the first hour that a post was posted. You can see AJ cry about that here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/34911#573235 On a later post, the hits pour in so fast that Tom's panties get a bit tight on him and he squeals loudly: http://www.ubersite.com/m/41862#732235 That post goes on to receive almost 8000 hits.
I have used this method several times; the highest hitting posts I have received are listed below:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/34911 (5003 hits)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41862 (7803 hits)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36933 (8615 hits)
Now that you know that this works and I am not talking shit, I will explain some ways to get hits, and while they are effective, they do not work anywhere as near as good as what you will learn if you keep reading.
1. Starting fights - This works well if you have a large number of douches that camp on your posts. Shlongy and Caulaincourt are the best to bait with this technique. Adds about 400 hits, as you stay on the MRR list.
2. Get some idiot to hate you - Stabkill comes to mind here. He does all the work, you collect the hits. Could be worth 500 to 1000 hits per day if done right.
3. Uberboard - On average, it added 300 hits per post for me. That's about 1/3 cent per hit.
4. QueenAshlee - Adding her name to a title consistently added about 200 hits. Is she really that popular here? Sure, she's on upper end of the scale... But?
5. Refresh your own posts - I do not know about you, but I would get bored after about 10 refreshes. It is not useful at all. Why bother?
6. Write a bot - One word: Bart. He would catch that shit every time. Especially since he watches me like a hawk. Do not try it. Bots are more useful for other tasks, not inflating hit count.
7. Magic - Pure Internet Voodoo (Read on!)
Now that we have seen mildly effective and totally useless techniques, it is time to spill the beans. Your patience in reading this far will be rewarded. I figure that most of the losers have already dropped their -2 and went on the next post by now.
Let us work from the end result back to the beginning. Each step will be explained, and the reason why it works will also be given. I was not bullshitting; I am giving it all to you. Here is the end result: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36933 (8615 hits) Let us dissect that post and examine all of its elements in detail.
First and foremost is the links. The links are what generates the hits. Let me explain why those links to pictures inflate hit count. The key is in the way that Bart's server interacts with your browser.
When you request a page from Bart's server, it does not just go get it from the disk and serve it to you. No, it does a lot more. It actually makes a new page; this page is made just for you. Aren't you special? When you request a page from Ubersite, Apache runs a script that Bart has written that gets your username, the post content, all the reviews, and the sidebars from his database. When the page is sent to your browser, your browser is instructed not to save the page to disk.
But, why? You see, this forces your browser to reload the page every time you view it. This way you see any new reviews that were added since the last time you looked at that post. If the page were not reloaded, you would not see anything new. Your browser would just show you the same thing that you saw last time, and never get a new page from Bart.
How does this increase hits? When you click a link on my post, you look at the link and then click the back button. When you do this, Internet Explorer requests the page from Ubersite again. Bam! One extra hit. Note: Mozilla usually gives you a stale page from the cache when clicking back, so Mozilla users do not really inflate hit count that much.
What is the big deal? You have given me an extra hit... The thing is, there is more than one link, and on average, the average Uber user is clicking 10 of them. Therefore, that is 10+1, or 11 hits, where there should have been one. You have reloaded the post 10 times for me, you have done the dirty work, and I have done nothing but convince you to do it, without you knowing that I did. Now imagine a thousand people clicking those links. 8000 hits do not seem unattainable now, does it?
Still thinking this is bullshit? Read RFC2616, and understand it. ( http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2616.txt ) This extremely long document explains everything you would want to know, and plenty that you probably do not care to know, about the interaction between client and server during an HTTP transaction. Be warned, it is not a tutorial and may be very confusing to some of you.
Now that I have the links, I have to make you click them. That is easy; I make them pictures of fellow Uberites. Even better, make them all female. That way almost every male will click every one of the links. In addition, most of the females will be curious too. Some of the pictures are on my posts, so that link is a double whammy! Another one of my posts gets a hit out of the deal too.
You claim you are not superficial and do not care to see a picture? Fine, I will also include a link to some of that author's better posts. Now I have both the preteen whacker and the more refined Uberite covered.
Okay... So now, I have you clicking the links. There is another problem: How do I get you to click on the post in the first place? I need a good catchy title. How about: "List of pictures of Uber females?" No... Let us do better. How about: "List of people I'd like to have sex with?" Nah, no dice there either. For most guys, that list would include most of the female population, who would care to see my list? A better title is needed; do not drop the ball now.
Ironically, the winning idea hit me while reading a Koolmang post, "Storage - A Pathetic Little Theory Of Mine" ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/29094 ) To quote my mentor: "Hot girls wouldn't need this; I'd suck the piss right out of them, and not leave a drop." This creates the perfect title, for the following reasons:
1. My username is Fetish, it just works.
2. It is different, who wants to do the same old shit?
3. Some will drop by just to say how gross I am, once they're in here, they'll click on a few pics too.
4. A few close-minded douches (Caulaincourt) will get totally upset, invoking one of our earlier hitwhoring principles, fighting with an angry douche.
5. Invariably, I will include Ashlee; after all, she is pleasant to look at. This invokes another hitwhoring principle mentioned earlier.
6. Some people will be confused and think that "suck the piss out of" is slang for oral sex. That works too, just click a few links while you are at it.
7. Curiosity, many will wonder just who it is that I would be willing to suck the piss out of.
8. Discussion, these seem to be well-rated chatty posts. That equal hits from the MRR list. Most people here are not the least bit offended by the post.
9. It is a list. You folks love lists.
10. Now, it is a series. People will click to see how it has changed since the last time it was posted.
Why not step it up a notch? How about "List of XXX users I'd suck the shit out of?" I think that is just too nasty, and would not be as effective. We want a happy medium and not go overboard here. Hitwhoring does not work if no one will read your shit, or you get banned. Not to mention being challenged to make good on the post... Ugh...
The last issue to cover is timing. The best time to post is after the morning post rush. Why post, only to buried in 10 posts 20 minutes later? Wait until the morning crowd had dumped their posts, and put yours on top. That way it stays at the top of the list for maximum exposure. Most weekdays, about 10:45 AM EST is good. This changes each day, so wait until the posts are at least 20 minutes apart. This way you know the morning rush has ended.
A little message to Bart: Put me back on the MVA. Now you know that my hits weren't automated. Moreover, being a bright fellow yourself, you know that what I have said is not bullshit.
One last thing, the picture is very important. I like to feed the title into Google Images Search, and pick the most irrelevant result. Sometimes another option is better though. Here the inclusion of a real peener was the icing on the cake: http://www.ubersite.com/m/41862
Because a picture is worth a thousand words, I am leaving you with an actual camwhore of professorfuckface. Consider it your gift from me. Do not ask how I got it, but its official. Go ahead and deny it squattail.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
9499 hits
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-05-21 23:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
9325
Submitted by BadASCII (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-11 09:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8000 hits.
WOO!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-08-09 08:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (8200 hits)
!!
Awesome.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-21 15:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Holy Grail - How to Make a Post That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (8034 hits)
!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-21 11:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
7952 hits
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-21 11:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2006-06-19 17:00:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
At this point, I'd prefer Eric Rice to just about any of you people.
---------------
Coming from the master -2 spammer himself.
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2006-06-19 17:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
At this point, I'd prefer Eric Rice to just about any of you people.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-19 16:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
(7922 hits)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-19 16:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(7922 hits)
Submitted by ah_whatever (user info) at 2006-06-11 10:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Holy Grail - How to Make a Post That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (7875 hits)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-11 09:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another 145 hits and teh RiceBot will destroy Uber. . .
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-11 05:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
still waiting for 8000 hits bud
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-06-04 20:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The Holy Grail - How to Make a Post That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (7718 hits)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88623
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 09:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(7551 hits)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-02-14 12:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(7110 hits)
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-01-05 09:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(6933 hits)
It will happen one day
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-22 16:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6837 hits
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-04 23:09:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The Holy Grail - How to Make a Post That Gets 8000 Hits Without Being on Bored at Work! (6771 hits)
=====================================
Maybe one of these days....
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-14 16:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6693 hits...maybe in another year or so.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-25 02:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spooky!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-25 00:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-25 00:06:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
no, that made most heated
and mine still has more hits
====
I didn't even view this post in the MRV. I was checking up on this molestor and I saw you review only minutes ago...eerie!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-25 00:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, that made most heated
and mine still has more hits
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505
20,000 with neither of those.
I wonder why.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32313
this has 24,000 hits without Most heated or B@W
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-24 21:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62304
This has 8000 hits without any of those tricks and without being on B@W.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-24 21:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
about 350 times in the last 3 months.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-08-24 21:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder how often people revisit this post just to see if it's got 8000 hits yet?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-05 17:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
6247 hits
maybe he will get 8000 in the end
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-25 10:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
(6095 hits)
8000 hits, huh?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-05-12 18:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
6025 hits
I giggled
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-12 12:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nuggan!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-10 17:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
5961 hits
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post never got 8000 hits.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-19 13:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
5858 hits.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-25 05:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
5684 hits.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-09 20:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
5606 hits
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-17 16:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You ever coming back?
Submitted by Academy (user info) at 2004-12-17 18:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-12-15 21:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are still my god.
That's awesome.
now I will be the hitwhore king!
Okay, okay...
how about a duke? Kickass duke.....
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-15 21:04:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shiznat (user info) at 2004-12-12 14:40:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever made a good post?
Submitted by BrittneyCheers4U (user info) at 2004-12-14 07:43:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
why is this funny?
Submitted by The_Great_Tom (user info) at 2004-12-14 20:20:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-12-15 20:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe if you weren't such a dickless piece of shit, you would get on B@W.
Ever think of that, jackass?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-09 07:49:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-12-09 07:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-26 18:37:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-11-26 07:48:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Most everything you post is Ubersite-related garbage, none of which is suitable for Bored At Work in the least. Douchebag.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-27 22:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-27 04:55:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Still waiting on this to reach 8000.
asshole.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Give it time.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-27 22:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52787
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52723
I just hit-whore.
It's not the best way, but it works for me...
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-11-27 21:47:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish auto +2
also sucking up for offending you. sorry.
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-11-27 08:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-27 04:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Still waiting on this to reach 8000.
asshole.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2004-11-24 22:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good info but you are way to obsessed about hits
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-24 20:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well done
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-24 18:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-24 17:54:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-23 20:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-23 19:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
You could, of course, just spam newsgroups with a link to your post under the banner of "Brittney Spears Nipple Slip Pics"
---
Too easy.
---
The more complex the engineering, the less complex the engineer.
---
Note posting anywhere, except Uber, was a design constraint...
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-24 17:54:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-23 20:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-23 19:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
You could, of course, just spam newsgroups with a link to your post under the banner of "Brittney Spears Nipple Slip Pics"
---
Too easy.
---
The more complex the engineering, the less complex the engineer.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for attracting QueenAshlee and mystiamoon on the same thread. God knows what happens then.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-11-23 22:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow. I'll never click a link in one of your posts again.
MOZILLAisdAR0XXXR
I guess I could respect someone who's developed a method to get hits. But then again, I think I have more respect for intelligent people who don't give a shit.
Suck piss. Merci.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-11-23 21:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eric -
Please email me. I'd like to set up something where I interview you for UberInterview 2. My email is maiorano84.at.hotmail.com, and my AIM is maiorano84.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-23 20:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-23 19:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
You could, of course, just spam newsgroups with a link to your post under the banner of "Brittney Spears Nipple Slip Pics"
---
Too easy.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-23 20:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:30:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
Even without the hits quest you're obsessed.
Proof that this had nothing to do with hits, just you being sick.
---
Poor soul, doesn't know his head from his ass.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-23 19:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You could, of course, just spam newsgroups with a link to your post under the banner of "Brittney Spears Nipple Slip Pics"
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Even without the hits quest you're obsessed.
Proof that this had nothing to do with hits, just you being sick.
Submitted by rhi (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not wading through all the reviews, I just wanted to mention that I'm probably not the only one who opens a new window for all links (including the link to review posts).
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
4190 hits. Better than halfway.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-23 07:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:25:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still baffled that anyone could think I'm normal when I spend every minute of my time on a website to insult people who live in foreign countries. I am very powerless in life and can only rely on this.
I guess I'm a lost cause.
---
You got that right.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-23 01:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Eric D. Rice molests children.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still baffled that you think you're normal when you spend money on a website to insult people who live in foreign countries. You must be very powerless in life to rely on this.
I guess you're a lost cause.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bahahahahhahahaha
Is that it? You spent a dollar to "insult" me on the shitty uberboard?
Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you look like?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-22 22:04:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Standard retaliation -2 review.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Don't I have to -2 you first in order for it to be a retaliation -2? Where did I do that?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-22 16:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-22 14:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey I think I know that guy
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-22 11:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-11-22 10:20:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
so... its not about doing a good post?
---
How long have you been on Uber?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-11-22 10:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so... its not about doing a good post?
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-11-22 08:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture of Professor fuckface
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-11-22 08:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude, you gotta lot of time on your hands huh?
Either way, as much as I don't like the idea, I have to admit that you're a clever son-of-a-gun.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-22 07:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-22 07:08:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
cant believe people are actually impressed with this.
---
Can I be you?
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-22 07:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cant believe people are actually impressed with this.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-22 07:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:29:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Defending yourself is not a sign of immaturity. Every single person on this site has done it. Even the most mature and well behaved people on this site have defended themselves against bullshit and harassment.
next.....
-
course, if you were REALLY Grown-up, you may not have reacted to MY review.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-22 07:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-22 06:24:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Those are some FAT lips... If you turned him sideways it'd look like he had a fat woman's bajiner for a mouth.
---
Best comment ever. Period.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-22 06:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Those are some FAT lips... If you turned him sideways it'd look like he had a fat woman's bajiner for a mouth.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-22 05:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clever. Why does that picture look familiar?
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-11-22 04:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I just want to ask you an honest question, one Eric to another:
Why persist? It's not like your world will be torn down if you don't get back on the MVA and all.
meantee.at.gmail.com
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-21 23:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52277
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52277
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52277
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52277
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52277
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52246
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52246
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52246
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52246
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52246
Why the fuck not?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 23:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice picture buddy.
---
No picture of ugly boys you pull out of your hard-drive's collection and call me could ever be as ugly as your real photo. J@W!
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-21 22:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are clever and already have over 3,000 good job you sly mofo
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2004-11-21 21:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This isn't brilliance. This is a common-sense observation, found after he started doing such posts, put into 'brilliant-sounding' technical jargon.
I would have started using Right Click-->"Open New Window" after about the 3rd link, but then again, I never click on Fetish posts in the first place. I got here from Stabkill's hate post.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-11-21 20:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, he should. Haven't you been through this before?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30588
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Defending yourself is not a sign of immaturity. Every single person on this site has done it. Even the most mature and well behaved people on this site have defended themselves against bullshit and harassment.
next.....
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As for Tommy boy down there....You are the one who wont shut up. You continue to mention and debase me in your replies even tho I don't attack you or your posts. I gave you a few -2's out of what 300 posts? I've defended you and befriended you only to have you turn on me because i told you the truth about how you were acting in regards to fetish and you just didnt want to hear it. You go around calling me a bitch when after we became friends I never did anything unkind to you.
As for everyone else, I wasnt bragging about my life, it's mediocre at best, I am able to support myself nicely but i'm not weathly. I was simply stating to Tom that hes just a little pissant for running around REPEATEDLY attacking GROWN-UPS who leave him completely ALONE.
If people on here want to hate me that is totally your right and your perogative, why can't you just do it with a drop of maturity. I don't wage wars with people, I don't make hate posts. I dont troll my enemies posts. Yes i have argued, I'm human. EVERYONE has done it.
--------
Of course, if you were REALLY Grown-up, you may not have reacted to his review.
Fetish, have another hit.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-21 18:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You wasted a dollar.
And I have to look at that.
I hate you. : (
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-21 14:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:43:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:15:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
...I am 31 yr old woman...
Unless your pic is really old, you seriously don't look 31. I mean that as a compliment.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you Ashlee. I turned 31 in August.
As for Tommy boy down there....You are the one who wont shut up. You continue to mention and debase me in your replies even tho I don't attack you or your posts. I gave you a few -2's out of what 300 posts? I've defended you and befriended you only to have you turn on me because i told you the truth about how you were acting in regards to fetish and you just didnt want to hear it. You go around calling me a bitch when after we became friends I never did anything unkind to you.
As for everyone else, I wasnt bragging about my life, it's mediocre at best, I am able to support myself nicely but i'm not weathly. I was simply stating to Tom that hes just a little pissant for running around REPEATEDLY attacking GROWN-UPS who leave him completely ALONE.
If people on here want to hate me that is totally your right and your perogative, why can't you just do it with a drop of maturity. I don't wage wars with people, I don't make hate posts. I dont troll my enemies posts. Yes i have argued, I'm human. EVERYONE has done it.
in closing...fuck off, i sleep just fine at night
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-21 13:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 12:29:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute Eric Rice, aren't you that guy who molests children?
---
Nice picture buddy.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 12:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute Eric Rice, aren't you that guy who molests children?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-21 12:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-11-21 10:20:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-20 23:30:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
You should've title this, "How to be a loser that craves hits so desperately that he/she actually spends time devising new ways to garner them, taking breaks every so often to masturbate to midget porn."
Who cares?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-21 12:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Typical McGinny, a piece of repeating shit.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-11-21 10:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-20 23:30:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
You should've title this, "How to be a loser that craves hits so desperately that he/she actually spends time devising new ways to garner them, taking breaks every so often to masturbate to midget porn."
Who cares?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-21 08:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberdirectory: Picture posts bonanza. Your name is in there! (2020 hits)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-11-21 08:47:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How to steal hits from your efforts:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52265
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-21 07:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-20 23:30:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
You should've title this, "How to be a loser that craves hits so desperately that he/she actually spends time devising new ways to garner them, taking breaks every so often to masturbate to midget porn."
Who cares?
---
Did your repressed urges surface again?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-20 23:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should've title this, "How to be a loser that craves hits so desperately that he/she actually spends time devising new ways to garner them, taking breaks every so often to masturbate to midget porn."
Who cares?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I JUST WANT YOU TO USE MINE!
---
Taken out of context...
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly, lately it's probably safe to assume "nice." When I'm being patronizing, I try to make it somewhat obvious, and recently I've really been trying to be nicer to people on here.
As for the post thing, works for me. I don't care about anyone elses that much, I JUST WANT YOU TO USE MINE!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This one has: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36933
The post you are reading was not engineered for hits.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:24:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
No seriously, it would. I mean you're like, what, two away from mine? I would honestly be insulted. And thus sad.
---
Damn, I never can tell when you're being nice and when you're being patronizing...
What if I post until I run out of names on that post?
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish, yours hasn't hit 8000 yet, either.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:17:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberdirectory: Picture posts bonanza. Your name is in there! (1838 hits)
You know, that really was great advice. Thanks. Going to break 2000 for the first time.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
---
Still didn't hit 8000 though. With some work, you might be able to refine your technique.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No seriously, it would. I mean you're like, what, two away from mine? I would honestly be insulted. And thus sad.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberdirectory: Picture posts bonanza. Your name is in there! (1838 hits)
You know, that really was great advice. Thanks. Going to break 2000 for the first time.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 21:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 20:35:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you better not stop posting before you use the external name I submitted. That would make me sad.
---
Sure it would...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 20:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Could this be the post ever?
------> http://www.ubersite.com/m/52239 <-------
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 20:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you better not stop posting before you use the external name I submitted. That would make me sad.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 20:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But mom, Fetish started it!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-11-20 19:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's pretty simple, I think. Fetish isn't a dick to you unless you're a dick to him.
Works for me.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 19:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:55:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I haven't given you a -2 at all that I can think of. Namely because you're one of the more entertaining users.
---
Well... Thanks.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:55:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I haven't given you a -2 at all that I can think of. Namely because you're one of the more entertaining users.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:15:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
...I am 31 yr old woman...
Unless your pic is really old, you seriously don't look 31. I mean that as a compliment.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:35:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish,
I notice you continuously -2 several MVA users. Is there any reason I haven't induced your wrath? Not saying I want the wrath, just wondering. Usually when I post, I'll go down every post on the front page and it usually has you reviewing it with a -2.. and I check mine and you skip over it, then the one right after mine continues with your -2 rampage.
Curiosity killed the cat.
---
Ah... MVA is not the variable in question. MVA status has nothing to do with it. Let me ask you something: Have you ever retaliation rated one of my posts? Nevermind, I'll answer that... As far as I know, no. Have I given you a plethora of -2s? No. Notice the correlation?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:35:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish,
I notice you continuously -2 several MVA users. Is there any reason I haven't induced your wrath? Not saying I want the wrath, just wondering. Usually when I post, I'll go down every post on the front page and it usually has you reviewing it with a -2.. and I check mine and you skip over it, then the one right after mine continues with your -2 rampage.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:21:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh! Oooh! I've got another one!
Make a name for yourself by continuously writing decent posts, therefore making people want to click on your posts.
Nah, fuck it. That'd never work.
---
You're right, that doesn't work.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh! Oooh! I've got another one!
Make a name for yourself by continuously writing decent posts, therefore making people want to click on your posts.
Nah, fuck it. That'd never work.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-20 18:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would anyone be interested in an AIM chat with a 15 year old, or whatever the fuck you are?
Here's a plus one for ya.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52192
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-11-20 17:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mystiamoon,
If you have a problem with me, and it's obvious you do, here's a hint:
theubertom.at.gmail.com
Want another hint?
AIM: Tom The Uber
TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. I'm sure it can be resolved. You're a sensible person, and so am I. If you don't feel like talking to me about it, go fuck yourself. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. If I did, I'd be the spitting image of JMG114. If anyone here has a problem with me, they should talk to me and we can come to a mutual agreement. Otherwise: fuck off. Your opinion doesn't, nor should it, matter.
Drop me a line sometime, Fetdog. We have some chatting to do.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:49:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
Fetish's advice works people!
---
Damn straight it does.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:49:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A more accurate rating system than "hits" would be a running total of reviewer ratings.
Hits mean nothing, like cars passing on the highway: you don't even know if they read your billboard.
Most Viewed Authors, if compiled with Total Reviewer Ratings, would look something like this:
(made-up names):
Highest Rated Authors
11. SmokingPope (1,407.6 total points)
12. HonkyOnTheLedge (1,388.3 total points)
13. ItchingJenny (9,016.2 total points)
Say my present Total Reviewer Rating points are 71. This time tomorrow, if I've received an average of -1 for a post, my total points would have dropped to 70; three days later (since ratings for a post aren't static but always in flux) if ratings for that post have risen to an average rating of 1, my total points would have climbed back to 71.
This way the scoreboard lights would show something new: The real score.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
Fetish's advice works people!
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:45:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:15:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you are a 16 yr old fuckwit momma's boy.
I am 31 yr old woman with a good paying job, a boyfriend, and a home of my own. Do you really think I care for a second what someone like you thinks of me?. You are nothing to me. A stupid kid who runs his mouth too much and lives for this website.
Once again I ask, wheres all your collegehumor.com masterpieces?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/33609
It's friday night, shouldn't you be beating off to twink porn instead of mentioning my name AGAIN in one of your immature replies. I never mention you, why the repeated need to drop my name?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathetic. Even after 31 years...
If you really didn't care, you wouldn't bother to write a paragraph about how he's a "momma's boy". Don't you realize that if you ever want to be higher and mightier than he, you can't do it by sinking to his level? Don't you realize that unlike you, he isn't affected by what you have to say? Don't you realize that this reflects badly on you and not him?
So please mystiamoon, go enjoy your boyfriend, and your house. Go enjoy your high paying job, we're happy for you. Hell, we're in awe.
Go and do mature things, go and act your age.
But if you're going to go onto uber and be petty and bicker the same as everyone else, don't bring up your "success" or your age. The only thing that matters here on uber is whether you've got something intelligent, funny, or important to say. If you can't deal with that, leave. The very fact that you are insulting him for caring about a website, on that website deflates your argument.
I bet you're 15 anyways...
In closing,
Yes, I have too much time on my hands.
Yes, I spent about ten minutes writing this reply.
And yes, I've sunk to the same level as you have.
But none of that matters. Why?
Because Tom is better than you, you just got pwned, and you ARE a bitch.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:37:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
What will it take for me to not be one of your serial killing victims?
---
Talk to your boy Caul about that.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What will it take for me to not be one of your serial killing victims?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:14:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
just wondering.
---
Why? You want unblocked or something?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been watching you do all this for a while now. I said it all along that you know what you're doing.
Ironic that this post embodies most of your theories:
-lots of links
-pissing off the piss-offables
-explaining to the masses how they've been played.
Social engineering such as this is very interesting to me. You should work for the FBI.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberdirectory: Picture posts bonanza. Your name is in there! (769 hits)
Working pretty well so far. Thanks for the advice.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-11-20 14:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
just wondering.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 13:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-20 12:09:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Blah, blah, molester, blah.
---
Sounds like your obsessed to me.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 13:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:48:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting. So am I still
blocked on messenger?
---
Of course.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 13:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:22:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha. The guy who can't get a job thinks he knows how to motivate people.
---
I have a job, unlike you.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-20 12:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you need a hobby that doesnt involve a keyboard
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-20 12:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow. who cares?
well, you do. you love ubersite way too much.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-20 12:09:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Hits = Happy?"
Exactly. People don't realize that someone calling hits on the Internet the "Holy Grail" might be a symptom of obsessed behavior.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting. So am I still
blocked on messenger?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hits = Happy?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha. The guy who can't get a job thinks he knows how to motivate people.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:06:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Borrowed your strategy. Lets see how it works out -----> http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
---
Probably won't be as inmpressive as mine. Yours is just a list of links. Links only work if you can motivate people to click them.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:35:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
* Useless drivel snipped. *
---
Meh.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 08:02:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you write some non-Uber related fiction. I'd like to see what you can do.
---
I'm not here to impress you or anyone. As a general rule I hate to write. However, it is essential for comunication, so I write when needed.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 11:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Borrowed your strategy. Lets see how it works out -----> http://www.ubersite.com/m/52217
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-20 10:46:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-20 08:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:35:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, just as long as you realize your opinion doesn't matter in any situation. Not even on the internet. I know what you act like in social situations, I know in real life you are shy and awkward and have few (if any) friends. If you think I care that you -2ing my posts, you aren't very perceptive. The purpose of the comments is to offer criticism as to what is wrong with the post. When you -2 my posts, I know it isn't because you don't like them, because you +2ed them before you knew I was squattail, and nothing you can do will take that back now. I know you aren't going to stop -2ing my posts, and I am fine with it, because a -2 from you doesn't mean anything on my part, it just means you are jealous.
____________
I really am not trying to attack you here, and I am certainly not denying that when rating your posts, fetish will rate you as a user and not the actual post, but even you have to admit that the quality of at least some of your posts has dropped drastically since your revalation.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 08:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you write some non-Uber related fiction. I'd like to see what you can do.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-20 07:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've taken dumps that are more intelligent than this friendless loser.
Here's a plus one for ya.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52192
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-11-20 07:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Taken far too seriously.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-20 07:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-11-20 03:48:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
It really is a little frightening how intelligent you actually are.
____________
Agreed.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:35:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, just as long as you realize your opinion doesn't matter in any situation. Not even on the internet. I know what you act like in social situations, I know in real life you are shy and awkward and have few (if any) friends. If you think I care that you -2ing my posts, you aren't very perceptive. The purpose of the comments is to offer criticism as to what is wrong with the post. When you -2 my posts, I know it isn't because you don't like them, because you +2ed them before you knew I was squattail, and nothing you can do will take that back now. I know you aren't going to stop -2ing my posts, and I am fine with it, because a -2 from you doesn't mean anything on my part, it just means you are jealous.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
2. Get some idiot to hate you - Stabkill comes to mind here. He does all the work, you collect the hits. Could be worth 500 to 1000 hits per day if done right.
---
See the Uberboard for proof of this one. Stabkill is jealous again.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As zakalwe said, something about your writing style agrees with me.
You're obviously intelligent, and you're able to write logically, coherently, interestingly.... why waste it on "-2 No Comments"?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-20 06:04:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-20 02:06:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Blah, blah, rapist, blah, blah.
---
Allow me to quote myself:
"4. A few close-minded douches (Caulaincourt) will get totally upset, invoking one of our earlier hitwhoring principles, fighting with an angry douche. "
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-11-20 05:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But you know what would be a lot cooler? if hits were dollar bills...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-11-20 05:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-20 04:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I might start a 'reinstate fetish' campaign.
Didn't click on any of the links though!
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-20 03:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
....There you go.
Actually make a decent post.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-11-20 03:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It really is a little frightening how intelligent you actually are.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-20 03:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahahaha. Talented writer. I'll be laughing about that one for a while to come.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-20 03:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want so badly to not like you, but youre a very talented writer. Nice work.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-11-20 02:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a pretty brilliant way to generate hits. But you're a good enough writer when you actually put effort into something, so why bother with the hitwhoring? Especially now that Bart has bumped you off the MVA.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-20 02:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, now, what do we have here, Fetish revealing that he was all along: a hitwhore!? Big shock!
I never gave a rat's ass about your Uber-power, or whatever it is you thrived for.
However, here you have failed to mentionned your relatiating -2's, your spamming, your stalking, your hissy fits about how bart posted your shitty website, your constant presence here and of course, the fact that you actually came up with a strategy to gain hits on an Internet website.
All of these, testatements that you are an obsessed narcissistic miserable human being who, dare I bet, must be pretty powerless in life to put so much importance on a webpage.
Call me closed-minded (I don't even know how you came up with that) but this is a fact.
The question isn't if all of this was a mastermind's plan to dupe us weaklings into getting you hits, it is: why would you need hits so bad in the first place?
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're doing so well for yourself, why do you engage random teenagers on the internet in pointless arguments? Shouldn't you be cooking dinner or shutting the fuck up, or something?
OWNED STFU
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-20 01:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you are a 16 yr old fuckwit momma's boy.
I am 31 yr old woman with a good paying job, a boyfriend, and a home of my own. Do you really think I care for a second what someone like you thinks of me?. You are nothing to me. A stupid kid who runs his mouth too much and lives for this website.
Once again I ask, wheres all your collegehumor.com masterpieces?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/33609
It's friday night, shouldn't you be beating off to twink porn instead of mentioning my name AGAIN in one of your immature replies. I never mention you, why the repeated need to drop my name?
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-20 00:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-11-20 00:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-19 23:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is so fucking awesome on so many levels it hurts. You, sir, are a genius, a fact I have known all along.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-11-19 23:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't feel unjustified in doing things like calling Mystiamoon a bitch or Stabkill a fucking dumbass. As far as I'm concerned, it's true. I'm not the kind of guy who stirs shit from the bottom of the pond for no reason. Trust me, if I call you a dumbass, it means I think you're a dumbass. What are you going to do about it? -2 me? Ok, now I think you're even more of a dumbass. The only way to get back at me for thinking you're a dumbass is to stop doing things that make me think you're a dumbass. Then I won't think, let alone call you a dumbass.
Do we understand?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-11-19 23:42:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I LOVE it when people go back and rate a number of my things all at once with the same shitty rating. Apparently, nobody learns much of anything around here, do they?
Let me officially give stabkill the "one fingered victory salute" as President Bush calls it. You are a fucking dumbass. "Oh dear God no. Someone said something bad about me. I MUST -2 HIM! HE WILL FEEL MY WRATH! MY NAME IS SUSAN AND I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!"
Ok Stabkill, or would you rather Susan? OK, Susan, I'm going to give you an assignment. List 10 things that are more important than beating people up on the internet. I know, it's gonna be a tough one, but I have faith in you, Susi. You and your big floppy breasts.
Kiss my eyeball, bitch.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-11-19 23:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-19 21:37:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom, that was gold.
I feel like shooting people into the sun is overdone, so I had to choose something that was equally deadly and humorous.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-19 23:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have you got photos of teenage boys on your hard drive?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a plus one for ya.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52192
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy Fuck! 83 reviews?
Fetish pwns you.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, people spamming your posts really helps, especially when they do it at night when less posts are being reviewed so it stays there longer. Gets a hundred of more hits when that happens, so if someone spammed 10 of your posts to the most reviewed, theres 1000+ more hits for you.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:24:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would masturbate to the irony if Bart capped this at 7999 hits.
---
That fag would do something like that.
He took my off the MVA for posting Stabkill's IP, and then claimed it was because I automated refreshing of my posts, although by my explanation here we know that he's full of shit, or couldn't figure it out, so he thought automation, after all AJ said I did...
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would masturbate to the irony if Bart capped this at 7999 hits.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to commend you Fetish, you're definitely right.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-19 22:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (