After School Racing: 1971 Z28 Camaro vs. 2002 Porsche 911 Targa (1394 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.14 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2004-11-21 00:40:57 EST
About five miles down the road from my house, there is a stretch of road that is just over a quarter mile long. On either end of it, there is a slight curve. When I moved in here, I had no knowledge of this strip, but as time passed, I traveled the road several times and began to realize that it was absolutely perfect for street racing.
On either side, there is about five feet of grass, then a well-hidden ditch which is about two feet deep. Past the ditches are cornfields.
With the paint that was leftover from what I purchased to pay homage to the supposed late Gibberish, I transformed it into a makeshift racetrack the other night.
We painted a thick line on one end, and used a surveyor's tape to measure 661 feet out. That would be the eighth mile marker. Another 661 feet later, at a grand total of 1322 feet, we had our quarter mile marker. Two stolen traffic cones are dumped in the ditch on either side of all three lines.
After school yesterday, I walked to my friend Justin's '71 Camaro to wait for him, as he would be taking me home. After waiting about two minutes, I saw him walking towards me, and I grabbed my stuff and walked to the trunk. I loaded up my stuff when he got to the back of the car to open it, he unlocked the doors, and we got in.
This car screams 'badass' to just about anyone. It's black with a blood red interior, has the original rally rims that coordinate with the black paint, and a 350 CI v8 engine, which cranked out a respectable 330-ish HP at 5600 RPM. The 780 CFM Holley carburetor mixed gas and air with such passion that the dual Flowmaster exhaust system grumbled when the car moved.
As we pulled out of the school parking lot, a green 2002 Porsche 911 Targa pulled out from the entrance. The guy driving it inherited $5 million from his grandfather last year, and spent a good portion of it on several expensive cars, two houses, and new furnishings for the two houses. We Justin pulled to the side of the road when he saw another friend of ours apparently walking home. The Porsche pulled in behind us.
We didn't pay attention to it, though, and Josh got in the back of the Camaro. When we pulled out onto the road, the Porsche did too. We continued on our way, and as soon as the oncoming traffic cleared out, he pulled up next to us-- challenging us to a race.
Justin gave him a signal to say "Follow us,' and we headed towards 'The Strip,' as we'd dubbed it.
Yes, we're all extremely creative.
Now, as some of you know, speed is more than a feeling. It's a drug. The wind blowing through your hair through the open windows is more than enough to get anyone's blood rushing. The feeling of control that the driver gets as the car responds to his every move, it's empowering. You ARE the man when you're the driver.
The heat is on. We're lined up at the start point, and the Camaro's loud exhaust system is drowning out the smooth rumble of the Porsche. Josh is standing between the two cars, imitating the hot chick that he'd seen in so many games and movies-- acting as the starting gunner.
"Three... Two... One... GO," he screams, "GO GO GO!"
Two gas pedals slam down to the floor, and two engines begin having gasoline poured into their metaphorical throats. In the trunk of Justin's Camaro are three cement blocks, which provide some help gaining traction. However, the weight of the cement blocks can't compare to the weight of the Porsche's 219 CI engine, and the slick, green demon is off with only two squeaks from the tires.
After a slight burnout, the tires on the Camaro heat up sufficiently and the car lurches forward, pressing Justin and me into the seats with what feels like the force of an F-14 Tomcat. The Porsche is veering left and right, slowing it down considerably each time one or more of the tires hits the grass on either side. Justin's worried that, if he tries to pass, the Porsche will slam into the side of his car, and a major fight will no doubt ensue.
He guides the Camaro to a spot within mere inches from the tail end of the Porsche, and as it swerves to the right once more, the gas pedal once again makes heavy contact with the floorboard. The car lurches forward again, and it began to inch past the Porsche with what seems like amazing slowness.
By the time we hit the 8th mile mark, the front bumper is about even with the Porsche's door handle. The speedometer reads about 75 mph, and the car is trembling. Time feels like it's slowing down as the car accelerates past 80... 90... 100... 110mph, and by the time we hit the finish line, we're well ahead of the Porsche. We continue around the bend, and the Porsche's tires lock up momentarily, but the computer regulated traction control kicks in and brings the car to a stop.
We continue to accelerate, and we're soon doing 140mph. I'm pretty sure that he's never pushed his car this far, but it felt good. He lets off the gas, and the car stops accelerating, holds its speed for a second, and then starts rapidly decelerating when he gently presses the brake. By the time we hit the hairpin corner, we're coasting at 25mph, both of us slumped into the seats, slack-jawed, unable to believe that the Camaro had just taken a Porsche in a drag race.
A quick glance in each others direction reveals matching expressions of awe; pure adrenaline was pumping through our veins.
I would give the world to experience that feeling again. I was carefree. Nothing mattered-- Not uber, not school, not even death could cause me to stop wanting to hit 140mph again.
It's incomprehensible and unexplainable, the feeling of insane credibility that one feels when he just witnessed, and experienced, the total hardcore whooping of one of the fastest cars widely available.
You should try it some time.
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-11-04 17:12:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. I wonder why that pussy in the proshe was swerving around?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-22 18:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hope you have a better day buddy, no harsh feelings. Good post as well.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-22 11:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
not so good in any way
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-22 10:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quality
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like cars.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-21 10:27:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol two fucking geekos slugging it out
its like special olympics. No matter who wins you both are fucking homos
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
------------How are ANY of those bad syntax or errors?
If you didn't notice when you were writing them, you sure as fuck aren't going to be able to see what is wrong with those lines now.
And I WAS able ------------to maintain my score, even with the spamming.
Your average is .62, mine was 1.7. A -2 will make more of an impact on a 1.7 than a .62, do the math.
------------say I can't write for shit, but I do know for a fact that you're very much biased.
Why would I be biased, what have you ever done to me? I made a fool out of you, which made you biased against me thinking that is the way you will get your retribution, through -2s. Thing is, I don't about -2s, in fact if you look at my squattail posts, you will see I am quite accepting of them. This post is worth a 0. It is boring, it is try-hard and it is a mediocre piece of writing, as are all your posts.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jerems (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stabkill, do me a favor and get online. I guess it's time we talk again.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:09:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
"two engines begin having gasoline poured into their metaphorical throats"
"pressing Justin and me"
"and it began to inch past the Porsche"
"It's incomprehensible and unexplainable"
------------How are ANY of those bad syntax or errors?
Here are just a few of your errors/bad syntax.
Obviously I gave up on my score a long time ago. On my first 16 posts I had an average score of 1.7. If 4 people gave you automatic -2s on every one of your posts, you wouldn't be able to maintain your score either, stoned.
------------I DID have four people giving me automatic -2s on every one of my posts. And I WAS able ------------to maintain my score, even with the spamming.
This isn't about me. I made a comment on your writing ability, and because it is me you assume I am only lying to you about how I feel about your writing to get back at you for something. I don't have anything to get back at you for. -2s? How much does a -2 weigh? What is a -2 worth? My reviews don't count, true, but if you just look away from your monitor, NOBODY'S REVIEWS COUNT.
------------This is as much about you as it is about me. I don't think you're lying when you
------------say I can't write for shit, but I do know for a fact that you're very much biased.
Then again, I did make an idiot out of you. Contacting you with AIM with everyone's personal details.
"What's the matter, John?
Are you getting scared?
That was a rhetorical question-- I can already tell the answer."
"Your phone number is soon to be posted on several hundred forums."
"Mr. Skinner, you're obviously putting up a front.
Only one thing is restraining me from giving out the rest of your info.
By the way, you know for a fact that someone would do something."
------------I will admit that you got me there, simply because you did. There were several
------------signs that I should have read, and if they were snakes, I'd have been brutally
------------bitten by them. As many people have said, people who don't lie have a
------------tendency to believe that others don't lie, whilst people who do lie have a
------------tendency to be skeptical, because they lie. Does this automatically make
------------you a liar? No. But the snippet that I posted on my "Gib is Expired" post
------------do prove that you're a liar. The mere fact that you left the comment alone
------------and never replied to it shows how you deal with things when confronted
------------with indisputable facts.
These are just some of the stupid things you said while you thought you had the upper hand on me. With that and now with this gibberish thing, which I told you was bullshit from the start, now you are like the town moron of ubersite.
------------I'm not the only person who believed Gibberish. If you've noticed, there were
------------several hundred others.
I am telling you that your writing needs improvement, but I don't believe writing is something you can improve on. If you had some interesting stories and bad writing like this post, perhaps you could improve, but your ideas are braindead, and your writing doesn't help.
------------Coming from the guy who wrote the posts in your post list, I'm not even going to take
------------this seriously. If you're going to tell someone that he/she sucks at writing,
------------or even at life, make sure you don't suck exponentially worse.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
professorfuckface is a fucking douche, dont pay attention
nice story kid
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The Porsche would have destroyed the Camaro if you had quick turns on the course as well as places where brakes were needed. But overall, the Porsche is naturally aspirated and puts out only 320 horsepower. Damn car is around $68K! Fuck that.....
Regardless, muscle cars rule.
PS: I am not going to ever rate your post based on retaliation unless you do the same to me. Which means, the last post I had was definitely worth a -2 and this isn't.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"two engines begin having gasoline poured into their metaphorical throats"
"pressing Justin and me"
"and it began to inch past the Porsche"
"It's incomprehensible and unexplainable"
Here are just a few of your errors/bad syntax.
Obviously I gave up on my score a long time ago. On my first 16 posts I had an average score of 1.7. If 4 people gave you automatic -2s on every one of your posts, you wouldn't be able to maintain your score either, stoned.
This isn't about me. I made a comment on your writing ability, and because it is me you assume I am only lying to you about how I feel about your writing to get back at you for something. I don't have anything to get back at you for. -2s? How much does a -2 weigh? What is a -2 worth? My reviews don't count, true, but if you just look away from your monitor, NOBODY'S REVIEWS COUNT.
Then again, I did make an idiot out of you. Contacting you with AIM with everyone's personal details.
"What's the matter, John?
Are you getting scared?
That was a rhetorical question-- I can already tell the answer."
"Your phone number is soon to be posted on several hundred forums."
"Mr. Skinner, you're obviously putting up a front.
Only one thing is restraining me from giving out the rest of your info.
By the way, you know for a fact that someone would do something."
These are just some of the stupid things you said while you thought you had the upper hand on me. With that and now with this gibberish thing, which I told you was bullshit from the start, now you are like the town moron of ubersite.
I am telling you that your writing needs improvement, but I don't believe writing is something you can improve on. If you had some interesting stories and bad writing like this post, perhaps you could improve, but your ideas are braindead, and your writing doesn't help.
Submitted by macadamia (user info) at 2004-11-21 01:04:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hell, everyone, I thought it was well written...
Maybe not.
But mayBE!
Well done.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rating: 1.33 on 7 reviews
Look! I'm 1.33 on 7!
PFF, have you noticed that most of my latest post have a much, much higher 'score' than yours do? First you try to use your overall 'score' against me, but now that you've run out of interesting ideas, most of your posts are negatively rated.
Submitted by mike18 (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bobby Bocheaux racing is the DEBIL
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm calling bullshit.
You know for a fact that the results (winners names included) are posted somewhere, on some website. You wouldn't admit to that if it gave Shlongy even a remote idea of where to find you.
Also, how can you call yourself a better writer than me? I'll admit that I'm far from the best, that I'm not incredibly talented, but if I suck, than you're the Hoover of uber.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I won two state- and a national short story writing competition last year in high school. You writing this (and your other stories) and thinking you are a talented writer is the equivalent of electro making those animated GIFs and believing he is a talented animator. I don't think you can even grasp the basics of writing, but I shouldn't be so harsh, you are in the same league as the majority of ubersite.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, Professor, whether you're talking about your Squattail alter or your current identity, since when do you qualify as having even a rudimentary grasp of creative writing?
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please come back when your ratings count, PFF, I really want your -2.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You just can't beat an American classic.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, you'd know a lot about poor writing-- from experience.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:49:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd still rather have the porsche.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-21 00:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You need some writing classes or english syntax classes or something. Everything about this reeks of poor writing ability.