Always Check The Mattress (850 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.08 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by polanaka (View user info) at 2004-11-21 15:54:50 EST
My best friend and I have always been searching for ways to get away from Jersey, even if only for the weekend. The opportunity arose, so I jumped at the chance to go visit her brother at Massachusetts Maritime Academy; it got me away for a few nights. The drive up sucked major monkey nuts because my friend Stubbs's father is a giant penis head. That's another story entirely. I awaited the glorious moment when I didn't have to be stuck in the car with him. After a couple hours and claustrophobia attacks, we arrived at the school. Everything was all nice and peachy- dinner was lovely, the men in uniform definitely got a +2 **winkie**, and, well, I was away from home.
It took an hour to get to our hotel, which was actually only 15 minutes away from the school, because Mr. Stubbs is an ass. Alas, we finally arrived at Motel del Scum. The place was dirty and I could've sworn I saw a pack of rats gnawing on a homeless guy. He didn't seem to mind though- at least they kept him company. We had no problems checking in because I'm sure they'd rent those rooms out to just about anyone (apparently so, judging by my company).
All I wanted to do was get into my room, curl up in bed, and watch some of that cable tv that the motel sign bragged about. It's a shame we had to watch it on a black and white television. Stubbs and I got our key to the room and walk inside. Her parents follow too. The four of us were sharing 2 double size beds. Mind you, I had a queen size bed at home to share with, umm, nobody. I could handle this, no problem. No personal space at all, but at least I didn't have to sleep in the car. By the end of the night, I wished I had slept in the car.
The evening went relatively well, especially because I love Stubbs and her mother. We had a grand ol' time. Stubbs's father did what he could to avoid us, thank God. After a while, the place started to smell. It was a mixture of flatulence and rotting carcass, neither of which came from me. Apparently, it didn't come from anyone else in the room, or at least nobody would own up to it. We opened a window and let the room breathe. It didn't get rid of the smell, but it made it much more tolerable.
The smelly motel room reminded Mrs. Stubbs of a story she had heard from her brother. One weekend, he took his girlfriend to Vegas, perhaps to propose. The gambled and had fun the day they arrived. That night, they went up to their room in their hotel and got ready to have some fun in bed. When the entered the room, it absolutely reeked. They immediately called room service to clean the room and have the sheets changed on the bed, just in case. The Lysol helped with the smell so they slept that night in the room. By morning, the room smelled so badly that maids were called up, followed by the hotel management to discuss the problem. I don't know why they didn't just change rooms, but they decided to stay put. Everybody got on their hands and knees, searching for the origin of the smell, thinking it was perhaps a dead mouse in a wall, but the smell came from the bed. Nothing was under the bed though, not even dust. Finally, someone flipped the mattress, and inside the hollowed out boxspring was a rapidly decomposing prostitute. That's right, a dead hooker. Now back to the story. Mrs. Stubbs told the story so well that I laughed so hard I peed a little. We had a good time, I showered and got into my pj's. The window was still opened in the room so it was a tad bit nippley, so I got under the covers.
I tried anyway. One foot slipped under and I felt something kinda hard but stickyish. I got grossed out and jumped off the bed. Stubbs and I pulled away the covers to find the crisp, white sheet covered with brown shit. Not just an old stain on the fitted sheet, I mean the top cover, the bottom cover, and the mattress itself had a brown diarrhea spot about a foot and a half in diameter. I gagged and Mr. Stubbs ran for the night management.
They came quickly with some cleaner and a new set of sheets. It took us about 2 minutes for us to realize that these two night-managers were the owner's mentally handicapped brother and his wife. Watching them try to put a fitted sheet on a mattress for 5 minutes made me pee in my pants a little again. "No, the long end goes here," and "The corner won't fit," just added to the ridiculous scene of retarded people trying to make a bed. A total of 20 minutes later, we finished helping them make the bed up, and they said the room was free for the night. I would hope so, after the crap-laden bed I stuck my leg into. So I took another shower and scrubbed the skin off my leg. I snuck into bed and gagged my way to sleep.
My advice to you: ALWAYS check under the sheets before you get into bed. And examine the mattress to be sure there are no dead hookers inside...
User Reviews
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-14 02:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good storey,
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2005-02-07 23:11:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for making fun of disabled people.
+1 for the dead hooker.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-14 22:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jersey girl - i'm moving to lodi on friday.
im me so we can talk about the joisey hot spots: timdwpi
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-22 10:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always do, ever since I saw the movie "Four Rooms." The dead-hooker-under-the-mattress vignette is worth seeing the whole movie for.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-11-22 06:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was worth a read. +1 for motel del scum.
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it was so disgusting! next time we went up we stayed at a holiday inn or something. never again to the seedy motel types.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2004-11-21 19:03:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm...
I'm pretty sure it's Jasper's.
Poor thing.
Oh, and when my boyfriend visited in Auguest, we had the same problem with the smell. We chalked it up to rotting wood.
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-11-21 18:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not sure what it was called, but i remember it was set up in an 'l' shape with enclosed screen hallway-porches around it. does that help?
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-11-21 18:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Bates Motel Perhaps?
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2004-11-21 17:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Waaaaaaaiiiiiiittttt a second!
Mass Maritime?
I live about 20 minutes from there, in Plymouth, not part of Buzzard's Bay.
What motel did you stay at? Was it Jasper's Motel down by the canal?
If so, I understand your emotional trauma. Really, I do.
But really, what motel was it? I'm quite curious.
Submitted by funkchomper (user info) at 2004-11-21 17:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Educational
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-11-21 17:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quite horrific
Submitted by zimxum (user info) at 2004-11-21 17:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
'Jersey' and 'diarrhea' in the same story, hmmm.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WRONG!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't like that too much.
but i'm going to be living in joisey in a month.
+0 for that
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:01:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dead hookers and shit. You clearly know how to please Uberites.
---
And How!
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
come on, urban legend or not, it was part of the story. she relayed it as a true story, but we knew it wasn't. just go with it.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:13:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"The smelly motel room reminded Mrs. Stubbs of a story she had heard from her brother"
Urban Legend.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-21 16:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dead hookers and shit. You clearly know how to please Uberites.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-21 15:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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