jacking off a whole bunch; stroking cock; etc... (9962 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chinaski (View user info) at 2004-11-22 00:47:15 EST
n ecstacy and shot his load all over my guitar and textbooks.
_____________________
That's part of the last line from the post I decided to delete in favor of telling this funny story.
So I have a friend who tends to ejaculate a considerable amount. He has a funny story. It seems one time he was reclining, fully clothed, on his then-girlfriend's bed. She was naked and jacking him off furiously. Right as Johnny was about to come, the door burst open and the girl's mom entered. At that same moment, Johnny shot a thick, ropey strand of hot come into his own eye, effectively blinding himself.
Hah, imagine the mom's response. Anyway, just recently Johnny told me another story:
He was getting with a new girl, a short vietnamese bombshell (she wore glasses and was flat-chested, and hyperactively interested in white boys). He told me that she was jacking him off. There's a precursor to this story though- Johnny hadn't come in a week. Not only that, but she had felt his cock, rubbing and touching it sensually the night before, but Johnny hadn't ejaculated. So she was jacking him off (they were both naked on his bed). Johnny said he suddenly began shooting ropey hot loads of sweet come all over himself- hair, face, chest, body, bedsheets, pillow, her. He kept on at it till he was generously soaked in his own man juice. Haha, that's a funny visual. Stop masturbating.
Another funny story having to do with hot, cut cocks, and thick, pearly white (or cigarette-smoke yellow) come has to do with a nerdy ex-friend of mine. This kid was getting used by an Indian girl. She would lay on him naked rubbing his cock while talking to her boyfriend on the phone, telling him how much she loved him. So she was jacking my friend off one time (her rough Indian hands exciting his penile nerves expertly). Right when he was about to come, or rather as he was coming, she quickly and decisively turned his dick 40 degrees and shot his ejaculate all over his stomach! He was disturbed and pissed by the experience. Haha, rightfully so- poor fool had that girl force his own come all over himself. Haha.
So then this one time my ex-girlfriend, a hot Armenian bombshell, was slurping my rippled knob in broad daylight, in the back of her minivan at the entrance to a popular park. As I moaned and gently shoved and yanked her head up and down nearly my entire long, twisted, character-having shaft, I looked out the untinted window. There was a grandma walking her dog and she was staring in the window. There was an expression of utter shock and horror on her face. I laughed and ejaculted twice as hard, moaning very audibly. The grandma kept watching so we drove off quickly, me handling my girlfriend's tits as she hit it in reverse.
Another time I was having sex with the first girl I ever had sex with. She asked me why I never made sounds during sex. I just said, Well, because it just isn't that good; it doesn't feel good enough for me to moan. I just want to stick it in, do my thing, and get out of that hairy gap. She understood, even though she started crying.
Just some anecdotes for you to masturbate/bite your cooch to.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-29 21:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-22 11:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-11-22 01:39:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
no one who focuses on semen THAT much has sex with women
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-22 11:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-11-22 11:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-22 08:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"She understood, even though she started crying"
hahaha
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-22 08:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, you wouldn't be getting spooge everywhere if you wore a condom.
Haha, just kidding. You know I love ya.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-22 01:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-11-22 01:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wanker
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2004-11-22 01:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK you, "zoidberg" BITCH.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-11-22 01:39:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no one who focuses on semen THAT much has sex with women
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2004-11-22 00:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
For having sex in a van...or wanting to.