More Gore! (560 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.12 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jenbee<what.if.I.was.just.dreaming?> (View user info) at 2004-11-22 23:35:04 EST
She didn't finish her reports on time. She knew he would coming to have a talk with her soon, the biggest of them all. He was the most obese, the most annoying, the most demanding, and the least understanding. As sure as the waves meet the sands of the shore, he makes his gesture to her. It's time. She stands, pinning a questioning look of confusion and worry to her face. Will it be bought?
He walks to her desk, stops just short of it, and points to her yet again while heaving a deep sigh from the depths of his overused and tired lungs. She shuddered to think of all the work it must take to get oxygen to every cell of his elephantine body.
When within range to whisper her the words, he works up the energy for one more strenous gasp of air. He stoops and says it; "you're...fired."
While remaining calm, Jen takes a small step back to her desk, pulls her scissors from her desk drawer and a sugarplum saccharine smile overtakes the question, the confusion, the worry on her face. She squints, searching his distended torso for a weakness. Finally deciding on the scissor's destination, she throws them with a flick of her wrist like a knife; pinning him to the wall in a gut-wrenching crack and splatter. Her accuracy is astonishing, right in the heart. As his eyes roll in the back of his head and he slides down the white wooden wall, a smeary trail of blood appears behind his slumping, corpulent body. She finds bloody and ironic satisfaction in the bits of flesh caught on the exposed nails and wood grain that that particualr member of her band of bosses insisted not be sanded and plastered over, as he was cutting corners in the costs of the rennovations to ____ Hall. His mouth opening and closing like a fish plucked from the water, he looks in horror at the girl; young, beautiful, a look of vengance in her eyes. "On the contrary, sir. You are the one who is fired."
I kill people everyday.
It's always in a very thoughtful and unique manner, no murder the same- only in one sense, I supposse. That being that I get the last word, and it's always borderline physcotic and always very arrogant. Blame Chris and the books he wrote. Blame the mass media. Blame Ally McBeal.
I don't care who you blame, the fantasies keep me from doing it in real life.
http://www.left-handed.com/bargain-left-handed-scissors-large.jpg (0 bytes) [application/octet-stream]
User Reviews
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:13:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-11-23 08:29:53 (#)
Ranking: 1
I can only give you a +1 young grasshopper, for you have let me down on so many levels. Lets review:
1)Right click on the picture you are looking at
2)Click "Save As" from the little box that pops up
3)Save to desktop because its easier to find
4)Hold the mouse pointer over the desktop icon until a little box automagcally appears and make sure that its less than 1MG.
5)When you are trying to attach the pic to the post, click the "Browse" button and look on the desktop for the pic.
6)After you successfuly attach the pic, fly out to NH and have made passionate Teacher/Student sex
7)Let me knock you up
8)Don't tell your fiance
9)Make him think the kid is his so I can have an illigitimate child in Germany knocking up German chicks and spreading the Donkey seed.
10)Make me a Hot Pocket
-------------------
I think Donkey already covered all the relevant points.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Left handed scissors for a weapon? We all know that the staple puller is by far the most violent office weapon.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-23 08:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for the phrase: "I kill people everyday."
+1 for killing the fat man
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-11-23 08:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can only give you a +1 young grasshopper, for you have let me down on so many levels. Lets review:
1)Right click on the picture you are looking at
2)Click "Save As" from the little box that pops up
3)Save to desktop because its easier to find
4)Hold the mouse pointer over the desktop icon until a little box automagcally appears and make sure that its less than 1MG.
5)When you are trying to attach the pic to the post, click the "Browse" button and look on the desktop for the pic.
6)After you successfuly attach the pic, fly out to NH and have made passionate Teacher/Student sex
7)Let me knock you up
8)Don't tell your fiance
9)Make him think the kid is his so I can have an illigitimate child in Germany knocking up German chicks and spreading the Donkey seed.
10)Make me a Hot Pocket
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-11-23 02:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm left-handed, but I cant tell the difference between left and right handed scizzors.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DMD, I do that and it still comes out as a link. I don't get it. I can't get it to be a jpeg or whatever.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha! I feel for you about the pics. I feel like such a retard sometimes. xoxo.
Good show.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-11-23 00:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you can't upload a URL
download the picture, then upload it from your computer
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what kinda fuckin Russian commodore 64 era style picture format are you trying to upload here anyway?
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Someday...Someday... A picture will happen. And it will be the most glorious day of my life.