I Think My Boss Has the Herpes. (5982 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.29 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WiLL ZoNE (View user info) at 2004-11-23 08:59:44 EST
I called today's tale "I think my boss has the herpes," because when I saw my boss' lip this morning I thought to myself "I think my boss has the herpes."
I'm smoking a cigarette outside of the deli right across the street from where I work. I'm planning on going inside post cancer-intake and getting myself a yummy egg and cheese sandwich...and a coffee. When all of a sudden, mid-inhale, my boss comes out of the deli. Actually, the herpes on his lip exited the deli a second before he did.
"Hey Will. What's going on? You on a break?" He asks...his herpes dance in the sunlight.
"Yea, um. I was gonna get some breakfast, but I'm not feeling so hot right now."
"Aw, come on. They make a wicked Provolone and Roast Beef here." Bob says. [authors note: he probably didn't say "wicked" but it sounded right in the retelling.]
The thoughts of provolone and roast beef coming from a herped-up mouth disgusts me.
"I'm sure they do. I'm thinking of just getting a tea when I finish smoking. A green tea." And under my breath I mutter "...and maybe some Valtrex."
"I gotcha. I gotcha. Hey, would you mind if I take a drag off your cigarette. My wife has been bugging me to quit, so I haven't smoked in a couple days. So just give me a drag to get me over the hump, will ya?." He asks while he outstretches his hand.
[pause]
Now my boss is intimidating, he's an ex-detective, ex-head of the Disgusting Shit Squad. He was the kind of cop, in my imagination, that would get called into a genocide at a heroin den/nursery. He's a stone faced, cold-blooded killer. His gray hair is always perfectly flat across the top. Kind of like Bobby Brown's Gumby hair-do without the Gumby slant, and not in an afro, nor is he black. Actually, its nothing like Bobby Brown's 80's hair.
When I interviewed for this shitty job with him, we shook hands and he told me to take a seat. I did. He took off his jacket to reveal a handgun along his side. I didn't know at the time that he was an ex-cop. So he's interviewing me and tap, tap, tapping the butt of his gun.
"So, where'd you go to school?" Tap-Tap-Tap.
"Ha. That's funny." Tap-Tap-Tap.
To get the job I was told to cut my hair. I didn't argue. Tap-Tap-Tap.
[un-pause]
Finding it very hard to say no I pass the cigarette to him and he takes a drag from the herpes side of his mouth.
"Mmmm. What is this? A Camel?" Herpes juice jumps from cigarette to lip and back to the cigarette. "Tasty."
"Bob, you can finish it." I plead.
"No, no, no. Just one drag is fine. Thanks so much." He says as he passes it back to me. I can almost see the spit line still connecting my smoke to his STD.
I grab the butt by the tiniest amount of paper possible, like the expert joint passer that I am. I want to toss it on the ground when Bob turns around, but Bob has me in a stare down. It's just my luck that Bob has some work business to discuss with me.
"You know Will, I want to say thank you for....early...lobby...Proud...Very busy....phone calls....my office....extension 8600....25th floor...X-mas bonus..."
For an hour and half (or what felt like that long) he spoke and I just held the cigarette and it wasn't even burning away to the filter. The snig was waiting for me. The herpes must have mixed with the nicotine to create this amazing slow burn reaction which disobeyed the laws of space and time.
"What? Are you sending up smoke signals, Tonto?" Bob states as he points to the smoke coming off my not-in-my-mouth-cigarette. "You're letting a good smoke go to waste."
"Yeah, uh." Is all I can muster out. I raise the cigarette up to my mouth. I feel the herpes cheering as they are about to infect a new host, your humble STD-Free Will Zone.
Lady luck steps in. Bob gets a cell phone call, and turns his back to me as the construction down the block makes it hard to hear. Thinking quick I flick the sickly cigarette away and take out my pack and light a new one. Saved. Bob's still on the phone and I notice the flicked cigarette burning a hole into a discarded newspaper. Fuck. This is like a Laurel and Hardy scene. I gracefully back up and stomp out the flaming newspaper.
As Bob turns around towards me, I quickly get back in place, attempt to look casual and smoke, smoke, smoke away.
"Ugh. That was the wife. Telling me I need to pick up this and that...she's driving me crazy. Let me get another drag."
The world stopped. His herpes smiled.
Oh Uber, I wish I could make this shit up.
Will
User Reviews
Submitted by Merely (user info) at 2004-12-13 05:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"disobeyed the laws of space and time."
Ha! The laughing kind of hurt after a while. You should have some sort of warning attached to your writings.
I guess you're pretty popular...the retirement comments were running neck and neck with the herpes info comments.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-07 21:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome back, wankstain. Hope my loss to you wasn't in vain.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More like Herpes Not-So-Simplex! Har har har!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-11-27 19:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Story!!
Herpes (simplex 1 and 2) are STDs, just like HIV is an STD, just like Hepatitus C is an STD, just like Mono is an STD. Yeah you can get all these from doing things other than bumping uglies, but they are most communicable from close human contact, usually involving a fluid transfer. And what does close human contact usually lead to(esp. with fluid transfer)? Ding ding ding!! Thats right, hot munkey sex!! Thus, STD.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-27 19:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:51:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:39:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did you catch it after you blew him, Will? Do tell! "
Yea. I blew him and then caught the herpes. Man, you are funny!
Someone remind me to be more like schlongy. He's the awesomest.
No shit, Sherlock.
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-27 19:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus 2 because i can
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-11-26 00:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The comments on here are hilarious. DON'T BE A ZONE HATER!!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-25 11:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have a clone in every country keepin tabs.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-25 11:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there any chance you were in Old Montreal yesterday? I swear, I'm sure I saw you. I'm the guy who stared at you in the metro and that made you feel uncomfortable. You're a bit thinner in life man.
If that wasn't you, let me inform you that you have a canadian clone.
Submitted by dizzyupthegirl (user info) at 2004-11-25 09:53:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ive got no idea about exile or retirement or what not... but its a damn good post.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-11-25 09:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The title reminded me of Strong Bad for some reason...
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-25 09:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"what kind of fuckin' crybaby cries about leaving a website, but can't even manage to stay away?
ps- if it weren't for the fact that you said you were leaving and then came back, this would get a -1. not funny. just fuckin' gross. "
Hidden...please link me to where I cried about leaving Ubersite.
Then please stick your fist up your ass and say "mmmm, thank you daddy."
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-24 21:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
<sigh> just like when Jordan came out of retirement, it's not as good as I remember.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-11-24 18:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what kind of fuckin' crybaby cries about leaving a website, but can't even manage to stay away?
ps- if it weren't for the fact that you said you were leaving and then came back, this would get a -1. not funny. just fuckin' gross.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my fuck! You came back!
I knew I'd convince you. Because I'm like important to you right? Right? RIGHT?
Here's your +2 William.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:17:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Piss off, Will. You're a pretentious fucker who thinks he's got the right to police everything- what's funny, what's not. What's suitable Uber-behavior, etc. etc. etc.
Newsflash: You're not God's gift to humor or anything for that matter. So yes, call the Uberpolice because it's an instance of rating the user. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Your -2 on my last post was just an affirmation of my point. Go back to your stupid humor blogsite and put up all your reposts from Uber there. "
huh? blogsite? reposts? uberpolice? post content?
Wow. You need to look in a mirror and smile. Ubersite, get this, is a website. Treat it like one and don't fucking care about it.
Why is it that the shitty writers....like poly....take this site so seriously?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Piss off, Will. You're a pretentious fucker who thinks he's got the right to police everything- what's funny, what's not. What's suitable Uber-behavior, etc. etc. etc.
Newsflash: You're not God's gift to humor or anything for that matter. So yes, call the Uberpolice because it's an instance of rating the user. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Your -2 on my last post was just an affirmation of my point. Go back to your stupid humor blogsite and put up all your reposts from Uber there.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poly,
good to see you still are an asshole?
-2, was the rating for the post, or poster...either way, you're wrong.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We meet again Mr. Zone.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice to see you've stopped being an asshole since you left.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:39:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did you catch it after you blew him, Will? Do tell! "
Yea. I blew him and then caught the herpes. Man, you are funny!
Someone remind me to be more like schlongy. He's the awesomest.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm still retired...but think of this post as the old man with the gold watch who goes and visits the ol' office one wednesday afternoon for a bite and a chat.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did you catch it after you blew him, Will? Do tell!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2004-11-24 08:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 +2 +2
"his herpes smiled"
fell off my damn chair laughing
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-23 23:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You still have retired beside your name. Does this make you a liar? Yes.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-11-23 20:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:53:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back. I needed to check user info to make sure it was really you.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-11-23 17:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like every retiree you just had to come back for another run. It was inevitable whether you agree with it or not. Just look.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back. I needed to check user info to make sure it was really you.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I swear I didn't do it.
Fuck you then. Don't believe me.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:38:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Every time I get out, they pull me back in!"
genitals.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Sorry for the jab at you a long time ago.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Method,
any reason for the -2, i'm curious.
Will
------------
Yes.
Submitted by barryap (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, that was pretty funny.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method,
any reason for the -2, i'm curious.
Will
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's what you get for smoking.
+2 for kicking ass though.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In case you don't look back at the round 4 analysis:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51208#950778
(why we can't random joe anymore)
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"yes.
Now you have to stay out of retirement until you pass Bart on the MVA.
That's what you get. "
How about if i just beat Bart in Ubermadness?
-Will
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still don't think you can be officially retired until Ubermadness is over. So I don't see this post as breaking out of your "pre-retirement" status.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Now you have to stay out of retirement until you pass Bart on the MVA.
That's what you get.
Submitted by RouteTwo (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disgustingly hilarious.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-01 12:43:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
a zero for coming out of retirement.
it was a +2 worthy story though.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You again...
No, I love you. +2 for an amusing story and a return from your self-imposed exile.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do people even do the "i'm retiring post"?
Nobody sticks to it.
The story was interesting enough to keep me from the negative side though.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no no no a cold sore does not necessarily mean you gave oral to a person
with herpes on their genitals. it does that when you had it as a kid it was because
your mom kissed you after kissing your dad's infected peepee.
the STD herpes belongs to a family of viruses.... and all of the members of that
family show up on the skin such as shingles and chicken pox. what you do have is a
member of the family. the STD form is like the black sheep brother in the family.
you prolly have the sweet virginal sister.
get it?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have given him a big fat sloppy kiss.
Submitted by houseman (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Iz thanks for disturbing me! I have had cold sores and you are trying to convince me I have an STD.You are so unkind :(
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45120
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2C4S
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my nasty.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A cold sore is a form of the herpes virus... as is shingles (herpes zoster) and the
chicken pox (varicella zoster)
It is in the family of virus as the one you think of as an STD. It is
just as comunicable.
http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/bacterial_viral/chicken_pox.html
YAAAAAAY WILLZONE!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:55:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:03:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for coming out of retirement.
Was a +2 post though.
;-)
-------------------
Ha, bullshit! You came out of retirement and we gave +2's. """"
Um yeah, that was kind of the gag.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for fucking up and posting on uber.
ok, it was actually for the story.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So you're not really retired, eh?
There's probably somebody who has the balls to stick to their word when they say they're going.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:03:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for coming out of retirement.
Was a +2 post though.
;-)
-------------------
Ha, bullshit! You came out of retirement and we gave +2's.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Beleive me its me...my style is always evolving."
Oh, I believed it was you, you just kind of had a different tone so to speak. Hopefully you'll stick around, the quality of posts around here has really gone down hill here lately.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WillZone!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps my comment was a bit harsh. Wait..no it wasn't!
You're screwing with me, Zone! My emotions mean nothing to you. First, you tell me you're going away, then I see you in the arms of another post. I mean..I mean...I thought we had something special.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Just couldn't stay away, could ya...
Something just doesn't "sound" quite the same, your style has changed a bit...maybe its just me though "
I don't think I back for good. I wrote this this morn and really liked it, showed it to JMG and then i posted it. No drama.
Beleive me its me...my style is always evolving.
Will
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just couldn't stay away, could ya...
Something just doesn't "sound" quite the same, your style has changed a bit...maybe its just me though
Submitted by Scarlett13 (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UberIsabella (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:49:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wiki...
You are so retarded and there is no hope for you.
COLD SORES = HERPES = STD
If you've had cold sores since you were little, that means that an adult (maybe one of your parents has simplex 1) gave it to you.
http://www.drgreene.com/21_1050.html
http://kidshealth.org/kid/ill_injure/aches/cold_sores.html
Wise up.
-Isa
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry but fuck right off... I've got a cold sore right now... they pop up randomly, this is the first in years, before that a few months elapsed. Funnily enough I have a cold at the same time, they come on usually when your immune system is low, just like when your spots get worse... I've had them regardless of whether I've been with a girl, and it has got nothing to do with whether people around me have STD's either.
Good story by the way, nice to see you're back
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:07:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the story. It was a good telling.
-2 for the picture. DAmn, man... It's dripping...
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, of course, you're right. After all, you would know more about my sexual past than I would.
From your second link: "People can catch HSV-1 by kissing a person with a cold sore or sharing a drinking glass or utensils, so it's easy to see why there are so many cold sores around."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that it doesn't say "The only way to get a cold sore is through sexual contact".
I also don't believe that sharing a drinking glass constitutes as sexual contact.
That's just me though.
Now. I'm clocking in at work. I'll be back later to see if I need to knock you down another few inches.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:19:43 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:10:21 (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for coming "out of retirement"
+1 because the story wasn't too bad
===============================================
If you're going to retire. Retire. Don't jerk us around. """
yeah!
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:56:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
runninginplace: EXACTLY!
herpes 1 is above the waistline
herpes 2 is below
yeah, but what i was also saying is,
is that nowadays, herpes 1 can also be below and herpes 2 can be above because of cross contamination.
uberisabella,
the point in calling a std a std is how it is transmitted. in none of you links did it call cold sores/ herpes simplex 1, an std.
so quit being a bitch. did you even read your links?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats pretty gross...
don't call it a comeback...
Submitted by UberIsabella (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wiki...
You are so retarded and there is no hope for you.
COLD SORES = HERPES = STD
If you've had cold sores since you were little, that means that an adult (maybe one of your parents has simplex 1) gave it to you.
http://www.drgreene.com/21_1050.html
http://kidshealth.org/kid/ill_injure/aches/cold_sores.html
Wise up.
-Isa
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
runninginplace: EXACTLY!
herpes 1 is above the waistline
herpes 2 is below
http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/handouts/herpsimp/herpsimp.html
We're all partially right. Although, I'm exactly right, and you're only partially right.
HAHA! I WIN!! I wish for my prize to be: COOKIES!
Gotta work now, tata.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
decent story
actually umberwhatever,
herpes 1 is herpes i and herpes 2 is herpes 2.
the problem is, is that a lot of people (thanks to oral sex) have gotten the two really crossed up. So you might have herpes 2 in your lip and herpes 1 on your junk. at least according to an article i read. and herpes can be transmitted by other than sex, so i don't think it is fair to call a cold sore on a lip an std.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're back!! Whoot!
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STD = Sexually Transmitted Disease
I got cold sores when I was little.. way before I even thought boys were ok to talk to.
Every couple of years or so, the virus is triggered and I'll get a cold sore. Last year, I got one when I was stressing over a lot of shit.
But, yes, they are VERY contagious. That doesn't mean it's an STD. It just means that it's contagious.. and if you kiss, etc, you are very likely to get it.
Submitted by UberIsabella (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wiki,
You are completely wrong.
Cold sores = herpes simplex 1
Did you not learn anything in health class? Here, let me hook you up:
-Herpes simplex 1 is an STD. It's a viral infection kind of STD.
-Herpes 1 can be made into herpes 2 (down below)
So therefore, if you have a cold sore and you suck off your boyfriend, you've just given him Herpes simplex 2. But don't worry, because then when he sticks it in you, you'll have both Herpes 1 and 2!!! Isn't that a joy?
-Isa
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another point and I'll shut up.
You can also get cold sores from lack of iron, protein, etc. Or too much.
So it's possible that it's the tomatoes.
Submitted by UberIsabella (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled. I won't lie.
All of you that are bitching about the "jerking us around" thing, I ask you to please stop being Emo kids. Honestly...why the hell do you care? I think you should rate the post and not the person/circumstance, etc.
My step-mom has herpes 1 (mouth), but she's a really big idiot and thinks that her cold sore is because of "tomato products." As in...if she eats too much tomato products she gets one. Apparently, her doctor sucks, because he gives her a prescription for Valtrex, but never told her that she had herpes.
P.S. - the pores in that guys face in the picture are HUGE!
-Isa
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were dead?
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, ok.. it's a FORM of herpes.. but it's not an STD.
I felt I should clear that up.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not I'm not saying the picture is of my boss. Thats a picture I found on google. that might or might not be google.
My boss had the herpes. I know it.
Submitted by BlindMelon (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:25:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not herpes, it's a cold sore.
It's a virus you can get that stays dormant in your body, until it's triggered by things like stress, extreme heat, extreme cold, etc etc.
Don't ask me how I know this. But I do.
+2. Awesome post.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:10:21 (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for coming "out of retirement"
+1 because the story wasn't too bad
===============================================
If you're going to retire. Retire. Don't jerk us around.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ewwww
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
um, burn
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not herpes, it's a cigarette brun. Really.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:13:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahha...awesome
www.herpeshelp.com
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for coming "out of retirement"
+1 because the story wasn't too bad
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to have you back.
Is this a temporary return or is the retirement off?
-Davros
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, +2 material, but that picture is the stuff of nightmares.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:03:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, stop making out with him.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for coming out of retirement.
Was a +2 post though.
;-)
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:02:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually missed your work, welcome back..
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-23 09:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn +4, dude. "I can feel the herpes cheering" Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!