25 years and counting... (990 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (View user info) at 2004-11-23 10:55:04 EST
As of today, I have spent a quarter-century on this planet.
Now I can reflect on the highlights from my first 25 years....
Age 0 - shat and pissed myself constantly; kept mom and dad up until all hours of the night; sucked on mom's teets
Age 1 - spoke my first word: bulldozer; took my first step...then fell
Age 2 - mom got me into my footed one-piece pajamas without realizing a colony of wasps had set up shop in the crotch
Age 3 - my brother put a snake in my baseball hat, then put the had on my head; I peed on my brother in retaliation
Age 4 - started kindergarten; had 3 girlfriends at once - lil pimpin'
Age 5 - got in trouble at school for dropping small clay balls into the radiator so that the fan would launch them all over the class; radiator needed replacing
Age 6 - brother pinned me down and tickled me until I pissed all over myself
Age 7 - started playing the bass
Age 8 - paid homage to the largest duck decoy in the world in Virginia, Minnesota
Age 9 - ate a habanero pepper on a dare; almost died
Age 10 - called my 5th grade teacher a witch; felt guilty all year
Age 11 - grade school friends ridiculed me for listening to the Doors and Led Zeppelin; broke arm cross-country skiing at school
Age 12 - got drunk for the first time - 11 shots of Jack and a couple shots of Ouzo; swore I would never drink again
Age 13 - pulled first and only helicopter while downhill skiing
Age 14 - entered awkward teenage years; wore lots of denim, flannel, Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam t-shirts
Age 15 - see age 14 + long hair
Age 16 - fell off a tree overhanging a cliff in Lester Park; would have died, but luckily landed on the last branch before the rocky crags 30 feet below; gained new respect for life
Age 17 - got my first mouthful of boob (non-mom); graduated high school; started college
Age 18 - got my first blowjob
Age 19 - learned the way of the weed; co-founded Mori Stylez...we were more than a college band; lost virginity to hot 26 year old mom (not my mom)
Age 20 - spent summer in Boston with Mori Stylez; partied like absolute retards; played Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC with Busta Rhymes
Age 21 - sold-out House of Blues in Boston; opened for The Roots; graduated college; quit Mori Stylez; started "career"
Age 22 - shat and pissed myself constantly; kept mom and dad up until all hours of the night; regretted quitting Mori Stylez
Age 23 - joined new band with plans to take over planet; met the girl of my dreams by
Age 24 - moved in with girlfriend; broke up with girfriend; got back together with girlfriend; moved back in with girlfriend; continued plans for world-domination with new band
Age 25 - so far, I've eaten a couple dried mango slices, pretended to do some work, typed out this piece of garbage...
What else should I do on my birthday?
how bout this...
User Reviews
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awesome! Thank her and tell her I say hi!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Z-man, I just talked to Rachael. Told her
it was your b-day. She wanted me to say
Happy Birthday and hello.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 15:02:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
glad you liked at least one track, Dave.
Like I said, the 3 new tracks we're recording will be a good supplement to the 3 you just heard.
The funniest part: all of us in the band come from hard rock/heavy metal/jazz backgrounds...
crazy, right?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:24:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...Davros - prepare yourself for POP!
we're going back into the studio on Sunday to crank out 3 more tunes...I think these additional 3 will give you a better idea of where we're at and what we're going for.
----------------------------------------------
One of the tracks I have I really like.
The other 2 are somewhat "Lite" for my tastes.
I am currently listening to Green Day and RATM to counteract this.
No permanant damage done.
-Davros
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GoodInTheSac (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Get laid.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You say it's your birthday..nahh nah nahhh nahhhhh!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...Davros - prepare yourself for POP!
we're going back into the studio on Sunday to crank out 3 more tunes...I think these additional 3 will give you a better idea of where we're at and what we're going for.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another suh.
Downloaded your tracks last night, haven't really listened yet but give me time.
-Davros
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
huh? noooo... i wore flannel and listened to pearl jam and nirvana.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Age 18 - got my first blowjob
--
Me too...uhh wait.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no shit, munkey?!? you pulled a helicopter when you were 13 too??? hehehe...
burfday
werd
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:49:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ages 11 and 14 were the same for me.
go zandy it's yer birfday
we're gonna party like it's yer birfday
we're gonna sip bacardi cuz it's yer birfday
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GLALL - you da man
whataefag - that's some funny shit! I think I still have my Alice In Chains DIRT t-shirt at home...white shirt with the Dirt album cover. I remember being worried about wearing that shit to school cuz there's a female boob slightly visable in the picture...I was such a tool. I think I was just behind the times in the whole blowjob department...twas worth the wait, though!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52462
Cause I am a hitwhore...Happy Bday Z-man!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's for life godammit!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:16:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happy b-day!
wow, youre my age. and led a eerily similar life. except for the 1st blow at 18 thing. guess I was ahead of my time. well, that and my impetus for joining the whole grunge wave was precisely that reason. emaciated girls = versimulated boys.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
\HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:47:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Umm, yeah, congrats and you're old. Older than me. December 9th is the new day of Armaggedon. I'm typing this in a room with no windows and no privacy. Holy crap.
----
OLD?? OLD?? China, you are no longer mah bestest good pal. You think 25 is old.
You guys must think I am ancient then. Damn you!!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 12:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yous guys rule
jgreening - I'm going to do everything in my power to make myself forget the ENTIRE YEAR! woo!
chinaman - someday you'll be older than me. wait...what?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Umm, yeah, congrats and you're old. Older than me. December 9th is the new day of Armaggedon. I'm typing this in a room with no windows and no privacy. Holy crap.
Peace, brotha
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do exactly what I did when I turned 25 a few months ago.
I...
Wait, it's coming to me...
I know it is...
I think I, no... Wait...
Oh, I uh... No...
Shit, I have no clue what I did...
I remember my friends coming over, then I remember waking up in a motel...
Thankfully, there was no fat chick...
I think...
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "non-mom" mouthful of tit
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't stop a-rockin'.
Happy birthday. Get drunk. Make hot chicks pull your ears.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, Tiger :)
and Jeaneeeee - I'll drink to that!!!
MyNameisTim - Boston rules. I wonder if the girlfriend will be down with a hooker...wait, she IS a hooker! OHHHHHHH!!!
I hope she never reads this.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday! Here's to you getting laid tonight and every night! *raises imaginary drink*
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:03:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...thanks, Davros!
And thank you, domenad - I've been reserving my spectacular ninja attack for just such an occassion...once the opportunity presents itself, SOMEONE is going down!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Z-MAN!!!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good ol' boston.
happy birthday.
get a hooker.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 11:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Age 25 met the coolest chick on earth. ME!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Happy B-day. Habanero peppers are very, very, hot.
For year 26, I'd like you to murder a person in a parking lot in self defense and realize that there are times when you unmistakably must off people (**Cough***Hussein****cough).
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try NOT to get wasted tonight. I haven't done that on my birthday in 8 years....
Just kidding
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Age 22 - shat and pissed myself constantly; kept mom and dad up until all hours of the night; regretted quitting Mori Stylez "
This made me laugh like a retard.
Happy Birthday man.
-Davros
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-23 10:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was uTTerly disturbing.
but the picture was cool!! HAHAHHA!