Uberpoll: Witty Sayings (2082 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.14 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oscar <quatatoe_king.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-23 13:00:20 EST
I've come across a couple of things lately when reading that made me quite nearly piss my pants. Specifically, these passages were comparative witticisms. Stuff like in thet Simpsons episode with comicbookguy's bootleg videos where Lou says "whoa...there's more bootleg videos in here than a Chinese k-Mart!"
You know, that kind of thing.
So give me some of your witty remarks, Uberers. With any luck the reply thread could make you shit yourself.
Here are my favourites:
_____ makes Elton John look like Hugh Hefner.
_____ made about as much noise as a Catholic orgasm.
3...2...1...go!
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2004-11-29 05:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh gotta be that line from Goodfellas whereas one guy is called fat
"yeah I'm fat, hey? You wanna know why? Its because everytime I fuck you momma she makes me a sandwich"
LOVE that line
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-11-29 05:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Go make me a turkey pot pie, bitch.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-11-28 11:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Favourite pickup lines:
Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
I wanna be your derivative so I can be tangent to all your curves.
Favourite shirt:
This shirt is your daughters. Guess what else I took?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-28 10:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's one...
"You suck like professor fuckface with his boyfriend's cock".
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-28 09:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Don't fucking retaliate against me, you shit-posting fuckass.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-25 02:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit or get off the pot
Submitted by Oscar (user info) at 2004-11-24 02:05:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:21:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't you suck a fuck.
Plagiarist.
___________________
I never said I invented those lines.
the "catholic orgasm" one was from Richard Morgan's "Altered Carbon". I just found it hilarious.
As for the Elton John Hugh Hefner one, I DID make that up. Which is why it isn't all that great.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-11-23 22:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"How's about a nice tall glass of shutthefuckup?" - Me
"I've got a better idea. It involves you, and a whole lot of shutthefuckup." - Me
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2004-11-23 17:10:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I wouldn't be sad if you had retarded babies"
Or "Gerbils are cute. I would way rather fuck a gerbil than a dog."
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and weak as the rasputin line is, its original, so no stealing it fuckers
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're the biggest disappointment since Rasputin said, "I hope I die in my sleep."
(gotta know your history)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 14:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tony Scott, huh?
Cool. I didn't know that! Thanks!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
T
U
R
D
U
C
K
E
N
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OI!! I'm a redheaded stepchild, dammit!
just slap the ass, please
Submitted by riggyrow (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:19:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds an awful lot like in Pulp Fiction:
Samuel L.: Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?
Frank: What?
Samuel L.: DOES? HE? LOOK? LIKE? A BITCH?
Frank: No!
Samuel L: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Frank?
----------------------------------------------
hahaha i forgot about that. they were both directed (?) by tarantino
================================
Tony Scott directed True Romance. Tarantino may have done the screenplay.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Personal favorite:
"I'll slap you like a red-headed stepchild."
Submitted by packofqtips (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
george carlin
"i wouldnt fuck you with a stolen dick"
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm out like a boner in sweatpants."-Me
"You're gayer than a boy george CD."-Me
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Unlucky, you're from Coventry.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In your dreams buddy. I wouldn't suck your balls if they'd been soaked in liqour. Jesus Christ! This could be the cure for alcoholism.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:19:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha i forgot about that. they were both directed (?) by tarantino.
--
I think both were written by him.
The lines in TR that kill me are right at the start, Slater saying,
"If I had to fuck a guy, I mean if I REALLY had to, I'd fuck Elvis."
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BUBBAEARL sucks my balls.
on Wednesday night usually, but NEVER on a Monday.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't you suck a fuck.
Plagiarist.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds an awful lot like in Pulp Fiction:
Samuel L.: Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?
Frank: What?
Samuel L.: DOES? HE? LOOK? LIKE? A BITCH?
Frank: No!
Samuel L: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Frank?
----------------------------------------------
hahaha i forgot about that. they were both directed (?) by tarantino.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This beer is almost as watered-down as Kenny G's jazz.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:09:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
not quite an expression but this part of a movie sticks out in my mind.
from my favorite movie "True Romance" - quentin tarantino
"do i like like a blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like french
vanilla ice cream?"
"excuse me?"
" i said... do i look like a blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like3
french vanilla ice cream?"
"uh... no"
"then why are you trying to fuck me?"
__________________________
Sounds an awful lot like in Pulp Fiction:
Samuel L.: Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?
Frank: What?
Samuel L.: DOES? HE? LOOK? LIKE? A BITCH?
Frank: No!
Samuel L: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Frank?
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:14:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're dumber than a bag of sand.
From Snatch: "He's as bent as the Soviet sickle and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard."
You're about as similar to ____________ as machine gun fire is to farting.
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm hung like a nigger in Tennesee. (pardon the racism)
They go together like a fat kid and cake.
As useless as tits on a bull.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:11:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll have to excuse shitforbrains down there buddy. This is the only kind of interaction he has with chicks when he's broke.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not quite an expression but this part of a movie sticks out in my mind.
from my favorite movie "True Romance" - quentin tarantino
"do i like like a blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like french
vanilla ice cream?"
"excuse me?"
" i said... do i look like a blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like3
french vanilla ice cream?"
"uh... no"
"then why are you trying to fuck me?"
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mother gives more rides then Greyhound.
--------------
AHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHA!!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mother gives more rides then Greyhound.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-23 13:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52465
IT'S TURDUCKEN!!
Woooooo-Hoooooooo!!