Getting pulled over by the cops on your birthday (1475 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.95 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (View user info) at 2004-11-24 10:33:47 EST
For those of you that missed it, yesterday was my birthday...check it:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52450
I'm one year closer to that AARP membership I've been wanting for so long!
So, last night after work, I drove to New City, NY (Rockland County) for rehearsal with my band. Following rehearsal, Jay (keys/vox), Mike (vox/guitar) and I (bass/vox) decide to head to the local pizza joint to pick up a slice. Jay and I take my car and Mike opts to meet us there.
On the way to the pizza place, Jay and I blaze up a little bit while driving through his neighborhood - this is a common after-rehearsal ritual for us. After a couple hits, we meet up with Mike, eat our pizza and plan the next move.
We collectively decide to head down to the bars in Nyack to celebrate my birthday. Again, Jay and I take my car and Mike flies solo. As we hit the road, Jay asks if I want to smoke more, but I decline - it's a busy street and I don't want to take any unnecessary risks, which is weird because I NEVER turn down weed. Seriously...NEVER. But this time, I did.
A couple minutes into the drive, we pass a cop that had someone pulled over on the side of the road. "Looks like the cops are out tonight," I said. I have a knack for pointing out the obvious.
Two minutes later, just before we hit downtown Nyack, I pass through a yellow light that turns red JUST as I pass through it. Literally - I saw it change to red just as the light passed out of view at the top of my windshield. "No big deal," I thought as an ambulance (without flashing lights) passed through the light in the opposite direction even later than me.
I thought wrong...before I knew it I had a cop so close to my rear bumper that I couldn't even see his headlights. Why the fuck do cops do that, by the way? What are they trying to prove? "Look! I can drive REALLY close to you without actually touching you! I know it's unsafe...so why do I do it? Because I can...plebeian!"
Then BANG - the lights come on. SHIT SHIT SHIT!
Mind you, I've never been pulled over in my life - in almost 9 years of driving.
I pull over into a metered parking spot on the side of the road. Jay and I (still stoned from earlier) start to take our seatbelts off. I quickly realiz that's the WRONG thing to do and we put them back on.
"Deep breath. Keep cool, hotshot." Apparently, I think out loud in stressful situations. I put my hands on the steering wheel.
Shit - I remembered that my registration is in my glove box...along with Jay's nugget. Luckily, I just had my registration out a couple days ago and I knew it was sitting right on top of everthing.
The cop walks over..."You know you ran that red light, right? Did you think it was going to stay yellow?" He's an even greater master of the obvious than I.
"Yessir."
"Where are you coming from tonight?"
"New City. I'm coming from band rehearsal."
"License and registration please."
I nonchalantly open the glove box, grab the registration and shut the glove box. Luckily, the cop is too busy paying attention to passing traffic to peek inside the glove box. As I extract my license from my wallet, the cop makes sure that I see his hand on his gun. I hand him my papers...
"Where are you headed?" he asks.
"We're going down to the bar here for my birthday."
He looks at my license. "Hmm...it's your birthday." This guy's a genius!! He tells me to sit tight while he goes back to his car.
Short story long - he makes me sweat it out for 5 minutes. I think he was just trying to think of a good speech to give me when he came back. Sure enough, he comes back and says, "Listen - I'm gonna let you off this time. You've been driving for a lot of years now - you know how long a light stays yellow. Be more careful."
I hate when people start off sentences with "Listen..."
I tell him that I won't soon forget what an important lesson I have just learned and I thank him.
NO TICKET! BOOYA!
Man...it's a good thing we didn't light up or else I'd have been spent my birthday in jail.
Coincidences, my friends. I was paying attention and made the right decisions at the right time. I've said it before and I'll say it again - there are no such things as coincidences.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-04-03 22:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry to break the streak, but...yeah
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-12-07 18:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The cat in my pic is NOT a russian blue. It is a korat. They do look very similar though...
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-01 12:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For my shenanigans. It wasn't right.
I am sorry.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52900#991381
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-11-24 16:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A similar thing happened to me a few years back.
Me and my friend were driving home from a concert and I had some leftover weed on me. I had to pull off the interstate to get some gas and was going like 50 in a 35 at 3am.
Fortunately, I forgot my two footer or else we would have smoked the rest on the way home.
I got a ticket, but didn't get caught.
Thank fucking god.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nice nice nice...my AIM is Zandy1123
I just got internet hooked back up in my new apartment, so I should be online in the relatively near future...after I get back from Thanksgiving break.
I'll drop you a line!
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:03:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
I live in Norwalk, CT - but I work in New Rochelle, NY and my band is based out of New City. Where in Jersey are you? What do you play (what kind of music/what instrument(s))? I'm down to hang...
---------------------
West Milford, NJ
It's about 500 feet from the New York border at Warwick. Sloatsburg is my exit off of 17, and I'm about a 15 minute drive from that exit.
As far as music, I like to consider myself a decent frontman, who doesn't know much on guitar. I play all kinds of rock. The songs I write would probably be considered a strange mix between Tool, old Incubus, and Black Label Society.
Hard rock with a funky attitude. Mostly THC-induced.
AIM: yewslus
Submitted by GoodInTheSac (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I ate the motor to a Geo Metro the other day as an appetizer to my burritos from Taco Bell. Just thought I would point that out to Zandy because he hates watching me eat metal or Mexican food.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just run from them.
Submitted by CodeBlue (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You lucky cock... I got a $173 ticket on my birthday, fucking cop.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Useless - The other car that I saw pulled over last night was right next to the Palisades mall, heading North/West on 59. I've seen them there before - I think they were out in full force last night cuz all the college kids are home and drinking.
I live in Norwalk, CT - but I work in New Rochelle, NY and my band is based out of New City. Where in Jersey are you? What do you play (what kind of music/what instrument(s))? I'm down to hang...
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Those bastards love to wait by the Palisades Mall so they can nab people coming out of Dave and Buster's. I got pulled over by the White Castle for no reason. Didn't get a ticket, either. I think they're really looking for drunks.
Nice post. Where about do you live? I'm in North Jersey. We should blaze and jam.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Genko - that's awesome...was she cute?
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:27:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen, you drove past my house and didn't even call? You cad.
---
Sorry, Jared! Next time...I swear.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen, this happened to me once. A female cop gave me a ticket for careless driving. I ended up dating her for two months.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:31:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You got lucky.
Deserved it on your Birthday though.
-Davros
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen, you drove past my house and didn't even call? You cad.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never been pulled over either <knocks on wood>
I get paranoid when I blaze. i prolly would have peed myself!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:02:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Verb - that's amazing! Although, I'm glad you weren't in my car last night :) I wasn't about to push my luck!!
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:01:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep, no coincidences.
Submitted by VerbOrgy (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever I get pulled over I try to see what kind of trouble I can get the cops in for hassling me. I've gotten a few in trouble for tailgating, 'driving dangerously', being general jerk offs, and once for an illegal search. My friend though, is the fucking master at that and got a cop suspended for 3 months with no pay for yelling at him.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find that whenever the police pull me over that a very loud and brash, 'Now look here, my daddy's a QC!' works wonders.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
City Jail on your birthday isn't tooooooooooo bad...
Wait, yeah it is...
*sob*
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, I've been there:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/39762
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B-day luck coming through. Nice.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hehehe - no pie for me on my bday!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But did you get to eat any pie??
Submitted by toddska (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
be a shitty job being a cop...but some cunts gotta do it.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, she beat me to it.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen, fucker--good shit.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I had to start off that sentence with "listen".
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen...I'm glad you didn't end up in the clink on
your birthday.