The Girl She Was (1850 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.87 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tiger Lilly (View user info) at 2004-11-24 12:55:11 EST
She stands in the doorway of her three-bedroom ranch wearing blue jeans and a gray oversized Champion sweatshirt stained with dried vomit on the sleeve, drowsy from lack of sleep and without her morning cup of coffee. Holding the morning paper she gently places it on the oak coffee table next to the remote control for the TV, unsure when she'll even have the time to read it.
Glancing out the side window off the living room she watches the sun begin to peak over the rooftops as her next door neighbors Toyota pulls into the driveway, returning home from a night of partying. The two scantily dressed girls get out of the car still looking fantastic from the night before and dressed to perfection with the latest trends of the fall season. She glances down at her own stained clothes and wonders how she arrived at this place in her life.
Watching them through the window she begins to recollect on her parting days on Block Island when she was in her early twenties. She sees herself in her minds eye, long flowing brown hair with blonde summer time highlights, a perfect golden tan and flawless body to go with it.
~
Music blaring and sun beating down on her shoulders, she stands on the wooden platform; laughing and buzzed as she takes another sip of her beer while looking at the crowd of people on Scotch Beach Block Island. She has no idea how she even became a part of the annual Forth of July bikini contest but she is onstage and ready to shake her stuff.
Sporting her new red, white and blue thong bikini at twenty two years old she is in her prime and is having the time of her life while her friends cheer her on from the crowed beach below.
Dancing on stage in her bikini, she tries not to spill her beer or trip over her own feet as the crowd begins chanting "take it off...take it off...take it off".
Without hesitation she chugs the rest of her beer, throws the empty can into the audience and reaches around to pull on the strings of her bikini top, exposing her two perfect breasts to the crowd of mostly men. Instantly, the crowd turns crazy while she prances around the stage with another contestant half naked and drunk all while smiling to her friends on the beach. The judges then hand her five hundred dollars cash and announces her the winner of the bikini contest.
~
Looking out the window and waving to her pretty neighbors, she wraps her arms around her once small waist feeling what effect age has had, sighing with contentment as she slowly walks away from the window towards the back of the house.
On her way into the kitchen to begin preparing for breakfast she stops to look at a picture on the wall, which was taken on the small New England island years ago. The aged photo shows her sitting on Payne's Dock feet dangling in the water with her arm around her best friend Kathy. The two girls, so young, vibrant and beautiful are side-by-side without a care in the world.
Glancing at the picture she remembers the evening when they were just nineteen years old and it brings a smile to her face.
~
Removing the remnants of the beach party from their pant legs the two girls sit on Payne's Dock drunk and giggling while their friends Jamie and Ben take pictures.
Mahogany Shoals, a small bar on the dock is closed for the night and the long wooden piers are silent with exception of a light breeze off the water and random drunk stragglers who are in route to their boats from Captain Nicks.
She stands up, grabs Jamie's hand and walks down the dock to be alone with him, leaving Ben and Kathy chatting behind.
Arriving at the end of the dock they sit down and the two begin talking about college and life and she tells him that after college her plans are to move out west to Huntington Beach California. Although she is scared to leave her family behind, it is something that she has to do.
Slowly lying back on the damp dock the two stare up at the crystal clear sky and watch the stars twinkling in the distance. Closing her eyes, she leans over to kiss him and slowly moves her body into his while softly kisses his lips.
Holding her body close, he rolls over on top of her and continues kissing her as he gently slides his hand under her shirt and begins exploring her soft skin.
Guiding his hand to her soft breast, she exhales and rolls over on top of him while kissing and licking his neck. She straddles him and removes her shirt and tosses it down the empty dock
Trying to stay composed and impaired from the alcohol, she looses her balance and quickly grabs Jamie in an attempt to gain control of her body. They both fall off the dock and into the cold water below.
Topless, cold and unable to get back up on the dock, the two begin swimming in the darkness to the platform on the back of her boat.
Sitting on the back of the boat, Kathy and Ben share a joint as the two swim up to the swim platform all laughing hysterically.
~
Walking away from the picture with a grin on her face, she hears noises in the other room and makes her way towards the back bedroom. Glancing in the room, sun shinning through the window she sees him sleeping and she wraps her arms around her once small waist and smiles. This is her life now.
User Reviews
Submitted by Toyandgadgetguy (user info) at 2004-12-03 10:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what I come here for.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-11-30 15:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is quite good, Katherine. Really nice writing.
Submitted by GoodInTheSac (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Read this again...great.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rating change from 1.03 to 1.25 complete. Ha! I think you owe me a camwhore. Love post coming soon (but I need more to go on! kai070169 at hotmail!).
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-27 13:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you much!
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2004-11-27 13:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are an excellent writer. It really drew me in and took me there.
Submitted by Imessedup (user info) at 2004-11-26 15:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by Flash (user info) at 2004-11-26 15:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this.
Submitted by Ex_Lux_Astrum (user info) at 2004-11-26 15:15:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to get a vasectomy after reading this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-26 15:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Coley, Thank you for your suggestions I appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks again.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-11-26 05:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked your story...but I have a suggestion (if you feel like taking writing suggestions from someone whose posts suck, that is). Shorter sentences, and/or use of commas and semicolons, could really make it flow a little better. Otherwise, without implied pauses, it read like a long run-on sentence (to me at least).
But your spelling was good, your story was good, everything else was good.
Good job :D
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-25 15:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Flash (user info) at 2004-11-25 15:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice. I enjoyed this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-25 15:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkey, thanks girl. I don't know, maybe I send
off a bad vibe.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-25 01:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:23:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
I really don't know why, just something about you makes me want to strangle midgets.
It could be your complete interweb sluttiness.
It could be the fact that you kiss more ass than KoolMang in a strip club.
----------------
Actually she is just a very very nice person. She is full of life and very friendly.
Geez, Tim. What's gotten into you?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 21:47:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:21:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
I seriously fucking hate you.
----
Stoned, I don't know what your problem is with me.
If you don't like what I write, don't click on
the link that has my name on it. jerk.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-11-24 18:44:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story. The pic made it +2, that's absolutely gorgeous
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-24 18:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually as I think of this story... you may be interested in this one.
It is along the same "For love of a child..." theme.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43129
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I really don't know why, just something about you makes me want to strangle midgets.
It could be your complete interweb sluttiness.
It could be the fact that you kiss more ass than KoolMang in a strip club.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I seriously fucking hate you.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Child Porn!!!!!!!!
AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAAA.
Seriously, this was beautiful. Awesome.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhhh
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:14:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Busy Smurf
----
Hi sweet boy!
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Busy Smurf
Submitted by GoodInTheSac (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fantastic Ms. Lilly
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I'm an asshole
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:51:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I may be a guy, but I'm also a new dad, and even though all the details don't exactly fit, I can definitely relate. That this was fiction made it all the better.
------
Congrats. Enjoy that new baby!!!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
VERY GOOD!!!
Wanna fuck now ?
I mean come on, you seen my camwhore debut right ??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52566
How can you resist all that!!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. This was so well done, and I enjoyed it thuroughly.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may be a guy, but I'm also a new dad, and even though all the details don't exactly fit, I can definitely relate. That this was fiction made it all the better.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yup.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:33:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, Tiger Lilly, this girl that you wrote about, she's fictional but she's also real, because she's me... minus pregnancy.
-------
I think there is a little bit of her in every girl.
You and I would get along famously.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*applause* I sent this to my younger sister, who has just had her first baby. I think she'll love it. Remarkable. Really.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, Tiger Lilly, this girl that you wrote about, she's fictional but she's also real, because she's me... minus pregnancy.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:23:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I will even tell you why I love it. It is well-written, I was able to picture the scene in my head, and I liked the place in life the girl is in... settled down, happy about it, with some kick-ass memories that make her smile. I also got from this that she still has many kick-ass memories to create, and she's smart enough to know it. I like the perspective you wrote from. Nice work.
-----------------
Ruthless, thank you so much for your kind works. The story is fiction although is based on
many of my kick-ass adventures that I did have on Block Island. Again thank you so much.
JMG, thanks baby doll.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
really really good....
wanna make out?
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will even tell you why I love it. It is well-written, I was able to picture the scene in my head, and I liked the place in life the girl is in... settled down, happy about it, with some kick-ass memories that make her smile. I also got from this that she still has many kick-ass memories to create, and she's smart enough to know it. I like the perspective you wrote from. Nice work.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Darn good readin'
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
jgreening, thank you so much.
Willzone, you're the greatest baby.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:16:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful, wistful imagry. Lovely photo, too.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:12:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
I can't phrase it any better than that, cause I really, honestly think this was very very good.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
verygood
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
worth the read. thanks
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well done
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkey/Davros...Thanks guys.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Our child!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. Especially the part about the bikini contest....
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh me likey! I'm driving to CT next week to woo you with my charm and 1999 Durango. I call it "the white pony".
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice Imagery.
Not how I expected it to end.
Well Done.
-Davros
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was beautiful!
The ending was perfect!