Camwhore and Free Money!!!! (1227 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.18 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Iago (View user info) at 2004-11-24 13:16:59 EST
These are REAL LIFE ways to rip off ATM machines. I would write this down, because at this very moment, the FBI are in legal wrangling with me about this post, and I believe Bart is under pressure to withdraw it from the CIA.
Insert your card and immediately type in PI to thirty decimal places, from memory. This will bring down the entire banking system and your cash machine will spew cash out like confetti into your waiting hands.
Ask for an insane amount of money, such as £4,000,000,000,000. Cash machines are known to suffer from electronic indigestion when dealing with such large amounts, and with any luck your will burp up a couple of twenties to relieve the pain.
Superglue a piece of string to the end of your card, request some cash, wait until the screen says, 'Your Request is Being Processed,' count to four and then whip the card out in one swift movement. This will generate the computer equivalent of a seizure and for about 30 seconds, the system will approve withdrawal of any amount of cash.
Approach a cash machine dressed as a member of the royal family. Cash machines are notoriously patriotic, even if your account is as dry as the Sahara. Cash machines would dream of offending royalty, and will cheerfully hand out ludicrous amounts of money, and even finish with a little curtsey
Oh what's the point of going on?
Now to detract from a hopeless post, here's a camwhore!
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNER! http://www.ubersite.com/m/84913
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-28 05:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lying sack of shit stealing material bastard.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-11-24 18:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should show uber your inflatable stag horns.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 16:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha...nice!
nah - just stand outside on a windy day while your hair is still wet. That ought to do it!
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HA! Yeah, i can see the resemblance slightly. But Zandy, when you said 'freak your hair out a little' so i can look like you more; did you mean scare the shit out of it so it dies and drops out?
If so, go to http://www.ubersite.com/m/50192
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:22:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
you also look a teeny bit like Zandy!
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I see the resemblance...but you need to freak your hair out a bit if you dare approach my level of cool :)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 15:22:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:26:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
What? You think i look like Laurel, from Laurel and Hardy?
No one has ever said that to me before.
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HAHAHA ooh yes you do! you also look a teeny bit like Zandy!
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ on a crutch. You look like you've photoshopped an old man's face onto a 13-year old's body.
Submitted by Id (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:27:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I Am Masturbating RIGHT NOW"
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why I shall never post my picture on ubersite.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:37:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if you have one, then you live in a truly great country. Ummm.. except anywhere in Asia/Spain/um.. Germany.../Poland/Hungary etc etc
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What's a "royal family?"
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:33:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No. Yours.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Uh--are you in your sisters room?
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 14:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You and Davros should set up Ubercon UK.
I need to get out of this country and explore...
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm way sexier than you................
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52566
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for weed!!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When you get your first million out of the cashpoint, remember who gave you +2's on Uber, ok?!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Britishness.
-Davros
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh? Am I being dumb, or are you drunk?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not Laurel, Superman.
Submitted by RouteTwo (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hey there laurel.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I Am Masturbating RIGHT NOW"
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
iago - from 'Othello'
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What? You think i look like Laurel, from Laurel and Hardy?
No one has ever said that to me before.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is yout name Iago or lago?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
an ATM doing a curtsey...haha
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-24 13:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you partnered with a fat man? Wear a bowler hat? Humourous piano incidents?