A Day at the Office - I Mean the Other Office (615 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nomad <Drainoe.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-24 23:20:51 EST
A few weeks ago I applied for sliding scale services at local clinic.
Today was my first appointment.
I arrived at 1:25 and waited till I was called at about 1:45. I was given the standard cursory examination, wieght, blood pressure pulse.
At 2:30 I saw the intern. He asked me what they could do for me.
"Well, to be honest, I've got a bit of a depression problem."
"Any thoughts of suicide?"
Ahahaa... This is a tricky one.
I haven't been involved with behavioral health people in a good five years, and I liked it that way. All I really wanted was some goddamn pills. Zoloft, paxil, whatever. Just some damn pills. Of course, in order to get said pills, I have to let a "team" of about 3 to 5 people formula opinions of my life and lifestyle, pass judgement on what is "wrong with me" and follow thier "path to recovery".
Look, I may be nuts, but I'm not crazy. I have a grip on reality. I don't need support. I don't need intervention.
I JUST NEED SOME FUCKING PILLS.
"Umm... That kind of depends"
"What do you mean... depends?! Do you have thoughts of self harm?!"
"No, atleast not serious ones..." I stammered out.
"mmmhmm... I see."
Scribble scribble, jot jot.
After another 45 minute wait, a nurse came in to inform me that because about 6 years ago some fucker with a license decided to put me on every medication for depression known to man, and turned me into a zombie for six months, she wasn't comfortable with prescribing me anything without me talking to a behavioral health specialist.
FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Basically this means that if I'm not extremely careful, I'm in for some serious shit. In my experience with behavioral health personel, they think EVERYONE is nuts. If you drink at all, you have a drinking problem. If you smoke pot, youre "headed down the wrong road". If you are depressed, you need support and a decision making team because you are not capable of making important decisions yourself.
She came in. We started talking. I knew exactly what she was doing. Thats what I dislike the most about these people.
They are trained on how to talk to you. The good thing about that is that it feels damn good to talk to someone that knows how to talk to you.
"Have any problems with needing to do little things or you feel that you'll be anxious about them?"
"No, I don't have OCD."
That's right. Crazy fucker has a mind that acctually WORKS!
"Wow, you're pretty smart to classify that question."
Thanks. Thanks for assuming that my IQ is around 72.
Ah, but at around 4:30, I did walk out with a couple of packets of some damn antidepressant. Yaaay.
Now all I have to do is swallow my pride, admit that I'm "not right in the head", somehow not let that eat away at my ego, and take a pill every morning for what just may be the rest of my life, knowing that if I don't take these pills, I will turn back into an "insecure malcontent" watching from the outside.
Okay.
Well, this post sucked. With that being said:
Anybody wanna get drunk, naked, smear hot wax over our bodies and fuck like slugs?
In a giant box filled with puppies?
Is it just me or are those two lines somewhat poetic?
IM NOT CRAZY.
GODDAMNIT. AHAHAHA!
HEE.
HEHEHEEHEEE.
*fart*
User Reviews
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-25 09:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the "Fuck this, I need help" bandwagon. I'll move over so you have room.
This might make you laugh, if you've not seen it - it amused the fuck out of me. http://www.astonishedhead.com/images/OVOID.swf
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-25 08:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh in a few places
Submitted by Nomad (user info) at 2004-11-25 07:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-25 06:14:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the point of taking these pills? If you have a hormone imbalance or a similar medical condition, then fair enough. If not, then it's just symptomatic relief without adressing the underlying issues. Feeling like this for a non-medical reason can only be remedied by lifestyle changes... Granted to get there you may need some aid, but relying on it is not the way.
------------------------
These pills are just happy pills. It's called an SSRI. Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor.
Basically, in the brains of some people (like mine), neurons have trouble picking up seratonin, a certain chemical. These little bits of seratonin hang out for a while, then they go back to recycle. But - those neurons didn't pick any seratonin up to deliver where needed.
End result - depression. Cause chemically.
What an SSRI does is block that recycle. So, basically, instead of being recycled, the neurons will have a better opportunity to grab the seratonin because there will be more seratonin than usual.
By blocking the recycle, I'll have 10 million little pieces rather than 5 million.
That is why I am taking these pills.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-25 06:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the point of taking these pills? If you have a hormone imbalance or a similar medical condition, then fair enough. If not, then it's just symptomatic relief without adressing the underlying issues. Feeling like this for a non-medical reason can only be remedied by lifestyle changes... Granted to get there you may need some aid, but relying on it is not the way.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-25 01:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once you try gay ass, you'll never be sorrowful again. Come and taste my addictive drug...
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2004-11-25 00:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Look, I may be nuts, but I'm not crazy. I have a grip on reality. I don't need support. I don't need intervention."
Pills don't fix you without some form of thrapy - their use (or lack of) does not predict relapses. If you don't like therapists, don't see one. But do something else that you think may help in the long term. This is why depressed people need support.
""Have any problems with needing to do little things or you feel that you'll be anxious about them?"
"No, I don't have OCD."
That's right. Crazy fucker has a mind that acctually WORKS!""
Some of the same medications that are used to treat OCD are also used to treat depression (eg SSRIs). One they ruled out OCD, and if you had atypical depression, they may have given you something else, especially if SSRIs have not worked for you in the past.
People are often picky about which type of common cold mediactions they take, but when it's a neurological issue they tend to leave things up to doctor. Know what medications you're given and why. And if they don't work, or haven't worked in the past, you can ask to try something else.
Best of luck to you, Nomad.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2004-11-25 00:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Paxil...25mgs...works wonders if you don't mind being tired all the time.
Ok time for bed.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-11-25 00:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking like slugs? Genius!
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-25 00:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The fart at the end won you a +2.
Submitted by Nomad (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Losapram. I think thats what its called. it's an SSRI.
Submitted by Nomad (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno Munkey, cmon now, you have to admit that I'm kinda fucked up upstairs.
Acctually, I'm all right when it's just me or people that I'm close to.
I just present myself to new people... as akward and strange. Probably because I try so hard not to be.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and don't take lithium! ever.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well hold on now...
what would you classify as "right in the head"?
"not right in the head" is the woman who just cut her babies arms off.
"not right in the head" would be jeffrey dahmer and any other sicko who stuufs bodies
in the freezer for leftovers.
So you are depressed and need help. So do millions of others. And even more who
don't seek help when they should.
I am not underminding (?) your situation. I just want you to know that
you aren't alone in this.
No one is perfect. Except for 50's sitcom personalities like dick van dyke and
june cleaver.
Submitted by The_T_Man (user info) at 2004-11-24 23:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man, you are crazy.