Arsonists this is your lucky fucking day... (642 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.11 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Emma <Brander1302.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-25 04:56:30 EST
This post is mainly aimed at Brits, I have no idea who pays for the American inmates - but if it works on a similar basis to our system, I'm sure that you must find it to be a bone of contention too....
This rant came to me last night whilst in Birmingham swigging gallons of wine in a futile attempt of trying to get over the horrors of being dragged through the monstrosity that is the Bullring - but I digress.
I have an idea that will save the taxpayers millions of pounds, it sprung from a heated discussion with my drunken pal about what would we do if someone ever harmed our children (the list was extensive) and also mundane until I hit on the brilliant idea of just letting them go to jail, get buggared a bit by other inmates and then set the whole prison on fire...
Now I know you probably think that this is a bit dramatic, but I think it could work, you simply firebomb the prison, they all die and then they no longer cost us £37500 per year to keep them in there... I think it sounds quite reasonable, if you think about it - it would also cut court costs of people who were waiting for trial or appeal, there would be no more re-offending, mainly because they would all be dead. And people might be a bit more scared of committing crimes if they thought that the prison they ended up in might randomly get burned down...
Are you enjoying my theory yet??
Anyway on a serious note I do think the lazy bastards should actually do something productive whilst in jail living it up on the taxpayer's money. What do they actually do all day? Sit in their cells watching their personal TV, maybe have a few games of pool, read a magazine... And those who do jobs within the prison actually get paid for it - what the fuck???
What happened to road gangs or rail road gangs? Hell I don't care if they make trolleys or something - just as long as they did something productive. Instead the emphasis is placed on re-educating them, some of these parasites leave with qualifications that a taxpayer could not afford to take time out to gain, that sounds really fair to me. England has gone mad, this softly softly approach is a pile of shit, 58% of prisoners released are back inside within two years, but saying that if it's that comfortable, why the fuck not? I might go and mug and old lady now - three meals a day, comfy bed, your own TV, sounds great!!
Back to the point now though - I think a prison burning craze would be a great idea, think of all the other "GREAT" things the money could be used for, like housing 'refugees' clothing them, giving them cars, spending even more than 5 billion at war with Iraq, what else can we waste our cash on? Oh yes, big wages and bigger expense accounts for MPs.
You gotta love this country....
User Reviews
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-26 08:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you give a -2 you GIVE A REASON
Fuckin' noob
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-26 08:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dull, ignorant and self-indulgent
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2004-11-25 10:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oddly enough I had this conversation with my boss yesterday.
Several theories were discussed.
My personal favorites are using death row inmates for product testing, instead of animals.
The best came from a nurse. Her idea was to launch them from catapults and take shots at them,
like skeet shooting. The mental image from that alone still makes me laugh.
But now she kind of scares me...
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-11-25 09:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...you might be onto something here.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-11-25 08:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not sure if this is meant to be Jonathan Swift-esque, but I liked it anyway.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yer i agree. Burn them all.
Then eat them
Submitted by Scarlett13 (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know a lot of 'innocent's would be killed, but this only adds to the brilliance of the theory - if all of the staff kept getting burned alive too, no-one would want to work there so prisons would be no more - you know it makes economic sense!!!
Submitted by Scarlett13 (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Which sort are you choosing to keep then?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your theory has a major drawback... Not all of the people in prisons are criminals. What about the prison wardens that you'd burn alive? The workmen re-fitting cells that have been vandalised? What about the weed fiend who bought a quarter ounce in 3g baggies? It appears like intent to supply, but it's only for personal use...
You get a lot of collatoral damage with this theory. We should just ship them to Australia like we used to.
Post a photo so I know who to stalk when I next visit Music Zone...
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
agreed.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
£37500 that makes me laugh - so if I wanted to pay to go to prison I would have to be earning a 60K salary to be able to afford it. could get an £80 a night hotel for that price.
Burning prisons naa we need criminals about, not the murdering raping ones though
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-25 05:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you already.