Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies (674 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UltraPrez (View user info) at 2004-11-25 15:29:02 EST
Ah yes, it was the year 2000, also known as the International Year for a Culture of Peace. The Cold War was over (we won), the president was impeached (he won), and an election in the United States of America was to be held (no one won).
Ah yes, even though a large portion of the country was outraged and had a suspicion that the loser (referring to the now President Bush, not everyone...or the USSR) cheated in the aforementioned election, nothing was looked into (it's not like he recieved a blowjob or something that completely rapes democracy like that).
So, after a fifth of a score (four years) of 'goodening' the economy, keeping the American people safe from arab freedom-haters, and trying to completely raise the greatness of the constitution with using it to ban gay marriage, another election was going to happen. I know, I can not believe they would not just abolish elections and let him be President for however long he wants, either. He was like FDR, except not 'pink down to his underwear'.
So, who did the opposition pick? Well there was Nader, Badnari...wait, I'm sorry, those are third-party candidates, which are, of course, a waste of your vote (unlike the great usage of your vote for a Rep or a Dem). Well, the 'demorats' picked John Forbes Kerry.
John Forbes Kerry, JFK. JFK (John F. Kennedy) was a president once, and was commonly refered to by his trois initials, as was FDR. Thus, we can make the connection that Kerry is Karl Marx (like FDR was). In fact, even though he never voted on anything in the senate, he was the most liberal homo sapien there.
The country was torn: One side for a giant douche, the other for a turd sandwich. What was to be done? If one won, one (two) part of the country would be outraged!
But of course! Bush and Kerry raised their 'super powerful rings of might' together and formed into one ultra entity!1one The people cried with joy (which, as the new Bush/Kerry Ultrapresident says, will one day flood some coastal cities (some people might say that this is due to global warming, but they're just a bunch of commies)).
Then, as the Ultraprez floated in the air much in the same way bricks don't, the people bowed.
So now everyone (give or take 6 thousand million/billion/millard/X 10^9) is happy!
Hey, atleast we are united in the time of war. Just like Oceania.
User Reviews
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-03-31 14:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
respect
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-25 19:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Either this hardly makes sense at all or it's way over my head...
Seeing as how the later is a definite possibility I won't nuke your post.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-11-25 17:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This hurt to read...