Britney Spears nude Toxic video (NSFW) (17847 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sully (View user info) at 2004-11-26 04:59:19 EST
Earlier today I found something pretty interesting in my email box. Allen, a friend of mine, had sent me a link to what he had labeled as "Topless Video of Britney Spears." Of course I was very hesitant to click on it.
First of all, since when has Britney Spears been naked in any video? People seem to treat her body as the Ark of the Covenant and for a decent looking chick (only when wearing a pound of make-up) she certainly shouldn't be exalted on high the way she seems to be. Since she has no talent in the voice department, she has to rely on her sex-appeal, which is going to disappear either by the time she does a Playboy spread or 3-5 years from now. Whichever comes first. If she appeared nude in any video, even if it was some kind of underground shit, it'd be all over the news and people would be rioting in the streets. Check that, they'd be in their houses masturbating furiously (males aged 12-69).
I peeked out my window to see the predicted absence of humanity. To my surprise, my neighbor was outside raking leaves. He was a husky, balding man about 45 years of age with a loving wife along with a slew of kids. Perfect ingredient for a closet pervert who'd find out the second Miss Spears had any sort of explicit video footage so he could sprint to his PC and jack off till the cows came home... and upon arriving home, those cows would demand use of the computer along with a box of Kleenex.
But nonetheless, my neighbor Robbie was outside raking leaves, tidying his yard as guests were arriving for Thanksgiving dinner. I looked at my monitor once again to see the elusive link staring me in the face.
Now, most people would've just immediately clicked it, getting some lame animation telling them how much of a low-life they are for clicking such a link. If not that, a lovely virus that can't be ridden. The thought of just deleting the email and no longer worrying about it arose. It was surely the quickest and safest way to get past the dilemma. After doing so, I went downstairs to eat some bird with the family and watch Peyton Manning throw another twenty TD passes.
I was almost all the way down when the enormity of what I had just done came into full view. What if that link was truthful? What if Britney Spears was really naked on the other side of that blue-highlighted text? Could I possibly be missing out on the Ark of the Covenant?! According to the rumors, seeing her bulbous mammary glands is the equivalent of being maced directly in the eyes...by God. And for the athiests, it's like being maced in the eyes...by Ray Liotta.
I went back upstairs, retrieved the email from a deleted storage cache, opened it up, and clicked on the link.
My conclusions upon clicking link:
1. The title Allen had named it was indeed truthful to a certain degree.
2. Britney Spears' breasts are smaller than expected, therefore real?
3. I now forever hate green subtitles that are conveniently placed.
4. Britney Spears has about three more years before she goes from decent to 'meh.'
5. No wonder Robbie was outside, he must've just done his business earlier in the morning.
6. She is singing and dancing to the travesty of a song, "Toxic."
7. There is no audio. Thankfully.
8. It's not even worth watching more than once.
9. This video probably came from her DVD that she's putting out.
10. Without all that makeup she probably looks like that shit I took an hour ago.
http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1716
User Reviews
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-27 11:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She's not naked. That's a body stocking.
Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2004-11-26 17:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Isn't that the same outfit she's wearing in the video anyway? Even without the subtitles she's not nude.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-26 12:55:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*sigh*
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-26 12:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking subtitles.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-11-26 09:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
God damn those subtitles. DAMN YOU YOU DAMN DIRTY SUBTITLES!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-26 07:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Was going to -2 for those damn subtitles, but I see you hated them too. So.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-26 06:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't work in ie either, at least for me.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-26 05:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dosent work in mozilla.. DAMN ALL
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-11-26 05:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be surprised if it surpasses the 500 range. I don't know how long this has been around.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-26 05:11:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is hitwhoring, but I still don't think it will get a huge amount of hits.