So Much To Be Thankful For (592 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.5 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tlozoot (View user info) at 2004-11-26 18:55:51 EST
My father wrote this...
***
Well-meaning friends and family have told me I have been obsessed, and now that Thanksgiving has arrived I must have positive thoughts because I have so much to be thankful for. I agree and would like to take this opportunity to give thanks.
First I would like to give thanks for our leaders. After all we have a president who rose from origins of mediocre talent, drug addiction, and drunken debauchery to become intoxicated with power. And whispering in his ear are sycophants who evaded the draft so that they can send our children to fight in a senseless war.
I am grateful that all three branches of government have been taken over by Visigoths who have made an art form of manipulating the truth so that they can maintain control while they pillage the treasury.
I am grateful for an attorney general who believes that the Geneva conventions are quaint and that torture is only justified at a time of war. So thank God we are in a perpetual war.
I am grateful for Jewish leaders who support policies that destroy the separation of church and state, while cheerleading a crusade against Islam. Too bad they are warming up the ovens.
I am grateful for our Supreme Court Justice who reminds us of the child at the Passover Seder that never asks Questions. That is convenient for the other Justices who conspired to appoint the President, and who never recuse themselves when there is a conflict of interest with those in power.
I am thankful that the Secretary of the Interior has devoted his entire career to defiling and exploiting the environment, and I think it's only appropriate that we christen our efforts to pollute rivers, lakes, and oceans: The Clean Water Act.
Meanwhile, I give thanks that our free press bleats the propaganda fed to them by the Administration, while those that question the infallibility of the President and his advisors are considered traitors. After all, this is a time of war!
I am grateful for our brave Senators and Congressmen who emulate Dick Cheney by feeding at the trough of corporate largess and vie like courtiers at Versailles for their position relative to the Sun King.
I am certainly glad that our anti-communist fanatics have adopted the laudable goals and tactics of the Cultural Revolution. Why should we consider any other source of information when we have the Little Red Bible? And who is better to explicate its meaning than Chairman Bush?
As a security dad, I feel much safer now that we have lied to the civilized world, bribed and bullied our friends, while we try to convert the Iraqi infidels to Christian democracy. Too bad we had to kill 100,000 citizens to do so, because we are a culture that values life. At least they don't hold grudges in that part of the world. Besides, we will spend $100,000,000 in Falujah alone to rebuild what we just destroyed. I can't think of any better use for that money.
I am happy that the independent thinkers believe that global warming is a myth propagated by the liberal press, and has nothing to do with fossil fuels polluting the air we breath. After all, the Rapture will transport them to a better place when those of us in coastal cities and the state of Florida are gurgling.
I am overjoyed that 500 years of the Enlightenment came to end in January 2001; now we can finally return to the good old Dark Ages. Religion should triumph over reason. Too bad about the Plague: Faith and prayer will save us!
Welcome to the Apocalypse!
Arthur Levine
Thanksgiving, 2004
User Reviews
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-11 16:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My father wrote this...
Write your own damn posts.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-06 19:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO! Happy Uber-birthday to the guy who kicked my ass in UberMadness!
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-01-04 18:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah... the thing is, I don't really have anything to write. I really wanted people to read this, so I thought this would be a good place to get people to read it...you know, get it on most heated. Go figure.
If I think of something good to write I'll post it though. =)
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-12-31 17:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So you gonna start posting for real now or what?
Submitted by Samer (user info) at 2004-11-27 17:30:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-27 05:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jesus_Loves_TwEE (user info) at 2004-11-27 00:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-11-26 19:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Your father maybe needs to up his meds.