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Strive for Pain (914 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.85 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by DemoLocke (View user info) at 2004-11-27 04:45:10 EST


Strive for pain. Tear yourself up: physically, mentally, and socially. Pain means you're growing stronger. Lift weights at the gym til you're ready to pass out. Study and work all day til you're on the verge of losing your sanity. Call up your buddies and keep that network intact. It is the only way to win.

Work, work, work. And never stop. Tear yourself up, because the competition is growing stronger by the minute...

You'll need 8 hours of sleep a night, and 3 nutritional meals per day. Drink 6 glasses of milk, and don't forget your vitamin. Class starts in just 10 minutes and you don't want to miss this one. Others will get ahead. Afterward it will be time to hit the gym. You're not cut out for this world in your current state. Now go...

Interviews are coming up. So are tests. Projects are due, and the alarm clock wasn't set last night. You're losing. You're falling behind, you're late. Brush your teeth, comb your hair and be out that door or you'll be unkempt and late again.

I'm missing something...

Where has my soul gone.

I will certainly need every ounce of its special "something" to get ahead in life. Did it escape me, or just die trying? Perhaps it happened after one night too many in the confines of my second home, those basement labs of concrete.

How did that rhythm go... I need to perfect that warm smile I once had. Where is my hearty laugh, or my cool demeanor, now that I need them most? They left me in the labs that night. No one will hire me without a soul... And I really want those numbers punched into my bank account, every other Thursday. My precious numbers, they bring such clarity to my life, letting me understand my place in life.

I had better not spend a dime of it. And maybe, by the time I'm 86 (according to my calculations and approximations), I will have $2.1 million. They will say, now there is someone who is wise. And reflexively, solemnly, I will think back to that fateful night in the labs, and wonder how I managed to throw away something so valuable, and rare.

andafterall.JPG (42 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-28 15:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2004-11-27 21:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You'd make a good Franciscan. Go buy yourself a horsehair shirt and spend some time each night self flagellating. (Not to be confused with "self fellating." Which is probably a better idea, let's be honest...)

Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-11-27 18:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by funkchomper (user info) at 2004-11-27 17:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Way to go, Dad! Fight the machine!

Submitted by Samer (user info) at 2004-11-27 17:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-27 12:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Perfect.

-Davros

Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-27 07:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-11-27 06:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Yes.

Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-11-27 06:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Soul? What is this soul you speak of?

Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-27 05:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

As much as i would LOVE to minus 2 this, for being a whiney, irritating hippy.. i cant. Its very well written.

2+, fuckin' hippy

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-27 05:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You can have my soul for $200 and a baggy.

Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-11-27 05:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

awesome

Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-27 04:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No. I love to work at nothing ALL DAY!


You see, there are some crybabies out there -- religious types mostly
-- who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to
turn off your set now. C'mon, I dare you. Bock-bock-bock-bock-bock!
Chicken!

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror III