Seasons Change Mad Things Rearrange (1009 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.12 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ivy (View user info) at 2004-11-27 09:08:58 EST
It's cold in here as I shiver in the darkness.
Blood trickles languidly down my neck.
Languid- I like that word, I rarely used it.
A dreamy silence creeps over me. Stop.
The rain thunders down, minus the thunder,
I think of how rudely we were ripped asunder
How did I end up in this time, this space?
The rain still pounding down on my face.
Remember that time you stood on the beach?
The imminent sadness you'd feel from his speech,
But then you saw it- how soon we forget
The things that are bound to be happiness met.
It made you so proud to be one of the blessed,
This beautiful earth, the moon's smooth crest.
I wake up I hear the birds singing outside
And for a split second I don't want to hide.
I haven't heard that sound in such a long time
And for the first time I think I'll be fine.
The sun beats down on me, rays of light
You've worked so hard to keep me out of your sight.
When time stood still you didn't remember
The things that happened that lonely September
Though seasons changed, there were bitter tears,
The pain I felt it fanned my fears-
There's only so much one person can take
Their spirit fights back beginning to break.
The cold is even colder now
The shivers even at my brow
Lucid tears my eyes now bring
The silence is shockingly deafening.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dea (user info) at 2005-06-14 03:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-24 04:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like poetry
Submitted by skrew_ball (user info) at 2005-03-24 04:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cliche. +1 because trying not to be cliche is overdone.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-01 11:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you had the guts to post poetry on Uber. I love poetry and write it pretty often but I don't have the balls to put it up here. Anyway, I liked it.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2004-12-15 01:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, didn't want to comment on my own post, but shit.
Not going to defend myself. So it sucks, big deal.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-13 23:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
please let me punch you in the face
i'll do it with such power and grace
and then when you are on the ground and in a bunch
it is time for me to give an infamous donkey punch
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-12-13 23:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Touch my penis.
Submitted by Merely (user info) at 2004-12-13 23:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Piece of shit.
Your IQ is not supposed to be your shoe size.
Grow a brain.
Submitted by klebe (user info) at 2004-11-30 02:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2004-11-27 22:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Season change, mad things rearrange
but it all stays the same the same like the love Dr. Strange.
The title was already said by the fugees. 0 just in case it's a sheer coincidence.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-27 16:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i hate rating negativley on people's poetry, because unlike a regular post, its a lot more personal, and do the authors are more susceptable to bad comments.
+1, because it was reasonable. honestly.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-27 12:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know.. poems don't necessarily have to rhyme, either.
I think this could have been a bit better. Try writing one that doesn't rhyme, but still has a rhythm. One that you can just FEEL, comprende?
Try it. It's awesome.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-27 10:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"thunder" rymed with "asunder"! Nice!
Hey i have another good one, not cliched at all!
Try rhyming "love" with "Above"... its way out there!
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-27 10:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Unwritten law of Uber: don't post poetry until you're a well-loved author. I would NEVER post my shit on here.
THIS was awesome:
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:18:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
You blew it in the opening verse.
It doesn't get a whole lot worse
Than "Blood trickles languidly down my neck"
It's overused, underthought, cheap gothic dreck
Your poem was shithouse, your imagery sucks,
Critiquing this mess would be like shooting ducks
And not big ducks, either - not fully grown birds
But small wobbly newly hatched web footed turds
It'd be far too easy
And not worth my time
So I'll just say "Fuck off"
But I'll say it in rhyme.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This spoke to me on so many levels.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was good. A little wordy. If you edited it for a while, it'd be gold.
Well done.
Submitted by Lotus (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was really good
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You blew it in the opening verse.
It doesn't get a whole lot worse
Than "Blood trickles languidly down my neck"
It's overused, underthought, cheap gothic dreck
Your poem was shithouse, your imagery sucks,
Critiquing this mess would be like shooting ducks
And not big ducks, either - not fully grown birds
But small wobbly newly hatched web footed turds
It'd be far too easy
And not worth my time
So I'll just say "Fuck off"
But I'll say it in rhyme.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-27 09:11:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!
-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma