Tips for the Sick Pt. 2 (679 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <oleannder.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-27 14:06:33 EST
The current count stands at: Hospital - 93. Me - 0.
My current joy started back in May of this year. I posted some tips earlier http://www.ubersite.com/m/38822 to help people with their ability to vomit as well as how to cope with cronic vomiting.
Now, a few months later I have a few more handy suggestions:
If your Doctor says you need -
a spinal tap: either ask for some really good drugs to relax you or kick him in the balls. I have had 3 of these things & I can not stress enough just how NOT fun they are.
an MRI: not so bad unless you are afraid of enclosed spaces & loud noises. I have had 2 of these so far & on the last one the bloody machine ripped the IV out of my arm when they were sending me back inside. Make sure to have your panic button handy & that all cords attached to you are safely out of the way of any grabby things.
a CT scan: this can change depending on what kind of scan it is. You have no worries if they are just looking at your head. However if you need a scan of your abdomen, then you can look forward to a lovely & large glass full of badly flavored boramine. Yum yum yum. If you were not a puker before, you will be.
a nuculear scan: 3 days of fun! First you get a radioactive shot, then you go home & come back the next day to have a machine shove a scanning plate within 2 inches of your face. If you are super lucky you get to do that for about an hour and a half. The fun doesn't stop there! Nope, you get to come back the next day to do it all again just so they can see how far the radiation has progressed through your body.
Ultrasounds: nothing you can really do about this except be clear on the instructions you are given & do them. I have had 3 - gall bladder, spleen & ovary. Before the first two I was supposed to starve myself of any food or drink for about 12 hours.... not a problem since I'd only puke it up anyways. However I was supposed to eat & drink for the ovary scan (only no one told me that) .... when I wasn't full the tech got pissed and did the scan internally instead. Yes.... internally. It was, um, uncomfortable.
ovary removal: This one was the funnest! Durring the scans they found out that one of my ovaries was not only twisted, but had a tooth growing from it (I named her Bonnie). You get some lovely drugs after the surgury but it still feels like all of your intestines have dropped every time you stand up & try to move around. And without trying to be crude here, trying to make a poopie is the worst pain ever the first few days after this has been done, but it sure does make you feel better when you have accomplished something. It's been six weeks since my surgury so I am finally allowed to take a bath this week. Whoo Hoo!!!!
bloodwork: the easiest thing for most people. However I am afraid of needles so I am a giant baby about this crap. Last time my doctor sent me out he requested 12 vials of my red goodness all at once. Who needs pot when you can get high on being drained? Just try & get some sugar into you after it's done.
PET scan: This one was actually the best of all of them. they give you a nice pill to help you relax a bit, then you get moved into a nice darkened room with a big easy chair & a CD player playing nice songs. A small shot of more radioactive crap is needed but the pill from earlier makes you not care. Then you rest for about 40 mins in the nice, warm, dark room until test time. They even provided me with a CD copy of my test results afterwards. I have no idea what the scans mean but at least they gave them to me. Problem is that it's not covered by medical and it's very expensive.
If any of this can help anyone then my job here is done. Why am I letting myself go through all of this? 'cause I feel like shit & they think I have cancer (just don't know where). Half the time I can't even read, let alone type (limited eye & hand control) so I'd like to get better & go back to work because there is only so much Jerry Springer one person can take in a day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2004-12-03 02:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For Being A SUPER-DUPER TROOPER!!!!!!!
Love ya sis!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-28 19:33:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-11-28 17:56:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:25:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Still hate me?
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Yeah, I probably got cancer from hating you so much.
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Uh... I'm sorry...
If it makes you feel better, I did say that I'd suck the piss out of you here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36933
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-11-28 17:58:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:37:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
And "nuclear".
And probably "bromine".
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Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:36:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
Misspelled "chronic".
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Pardonez moi dipshit. I thought it was an accomplishment just to be able to type & read again. Now please tell me, did I misspell 'fuck you'?
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-11-28 17:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:25:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Still hate me?
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Yeah, I probably got cancer from hating you so much.
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went through something ridiculously similar- at the end of May I got sick and began throwing up solidly for about 2 weeks. The doctors just kept giving me nausea pills and said everything'll be fine. After 3 weeks, I went to a specialist. A week later (now a solid month of vomiting), I had lost about 25 pounds and I was finally admitted into the hospital overnight. I had already been to the emergency room 3 times. I stayed a week to be rehydrated and tested. I got the MRI, the CT scan, the endoscopy, and even the colonoscopy. The last was by far the worst because, since I couldn't keep anything down, the nausea medicine was inserted supository form- even while I had the colon cleansing liquid-death in my system. I had to hold everything in for a half hour for the meds to work. Now I have scarred intestines and a very bad stomach, but nothing life-threatening. That's my story so I can relate to you. Good luck!!!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy fuck! That's some fucked up shit right there.
Uhm ... get better soon.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:37:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And "nuclear".
And probably "bromine".
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Misspelled "chronic".
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't the tooth thing called a dermoid tumor? My cousin has one of those going on right now, and she was told it's common for teeth and hair to grow in them.
It sounds like you're going through hell, I hope things are getting better.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-28 14:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still hate me?
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-11-27 23:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-27 21:04:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
A tooth growing out of your ovary?
That's fucked up.
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Yes, it was explained that I absorbed my own twin when we were in the fetal state & for some reason she just seemed to grow a tooth inside of me. Nice eh? I love being the family freak now.... too bad X-Files isn't on anymore.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-27 21:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A tooth growing out of your ovary?
That's fucked up.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-27 16:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Did'nt actually make me smile, but certanly worthy of a +1
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2004-11-27 14:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As a fomer recipient of CAT scans, MRIs and Nuclear scans, I can empathize. They are no fun