Fantasy and Reality (493 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.27 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <katiegg9917.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-29 08:34:48 EST
Here is another problem to add to the list. In addition to being a masochist, I have no line between fantasy and reality. I suppose it is the one thing that has kept me sane. Until today.
For as long as I can remember, I've had this little world going on inside my head. In the real world, I am shy, awkward, and have absolutely no self confidence. And I'm not the most attractive person in the world either. Far from it. While I suppose somewhere deep inside I am reasonably intelligent, college is proving difficult.
If I lived in this world, I would be miserable.
In my head I am smart, beautiful, and although I am still shy, people find it endearing. Adorable even. Absolutely everyone loves me, wants to be friends with me, wants to fuck me. In my head, I'm going to graduate college, go to grad school, and have people fighting to hire me in various different fields. Despite this I am so sweet and modest its nauseating. I create entire escapades for myself based on television shows, or the guy in my sociology class with the Mo Rocca glasses.
It is days like today that I realize that whats in my head is not real.
I have taken semi-innocent, everyday conversation between myself and another young man, and manipulated it to the point where I have created a relationship that doesn't exist. I didn't understand that what I had created in my head was not real. For nearly 3 months I didn't understand. I would have occasional moments of clarity, only to slip back out of it to a place where he was as enamored as I was. It was a wonderful world. A wonderful world that does not exist anywhere but my head. And I suppose my heart.
I don't know exactly what this is supposed to be. Its not finished, but I just felt I needed to have it read.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Weatherly?
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-03 14:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can understand this, and wish I couldn't.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-11-29 14:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Same thing here, except she called the cops on me. In my mind, I got revenge. But for some reason now, her face is appearing on all these 'Missing' signs.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-29 14:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's really fucked up. I'm sorry.
Submitted by Fleury75 (user info) at 2004-11-29 13:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
concocted scenarios relating to fear of abandonment; possible single parent upbringing; possible sexual shortcomings
egomaniacal delusions or obsessions indicate semi-psychosis or OCD behaviour.
recommended treatment: eploration, self help
subject has already started by writing this post. the more you expose this the faster it will become a part of the past.
Submitted by Trixie (user info) at 2004-11-29 13:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A touch of the erotomania.Classic case,my dear.
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-11-29 12:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure why. But this appealed to me.
Actually I do know why...
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-11-29 11:18:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your probably losing your mind and these are the first symptoms. Bust out the tinfoil hat anyday now
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-29 09:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sometimes it would be great to be what we are in our heads.
Other times it would be even more terrible than what we live with day to day.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-11-29 09:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"You are seriously fucked up.. Have you looked in the mirror lately?" - The Crow
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2004-11-29 09:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good.