Nostalgia (812 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.93 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AshK <alkite at gmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-29 16:16:59 EST
"Come ON guys, you suck! I'm tellin!" the screechy voice faded as his 6 year old feet stomped toward the house and the safety of mom.
"Swing fast, Mark cuz mom is gonna make you give the whiner a go."
Mark didn't need to be told twice. The tire swing dad had finally rigged up was the best thing. Ever. Sarah had hogged it all morning, but Mark managed to eat his fried bologna faster and planted his butt in the tire right after lunch. In exchange, Brent got the chips and half full juice box that Mark left behind for the glory of the swing.
"Here she coooOOOoomes!" Around her twelfth birthday, she had adopted a permanent "neener neener" tone to her voice and now at thirteen Sarah was caught between really wanting to play on the swing and not wanting her little brothers to know it. She supposed Mark loosing his turn was almost as good as getting to swing again, herself.
"Markus James! You let your brother play on that swing! Are you two or ten?"
Mark sighed, as Brent peeked out from behind mom's skirt with a satisfied smirk.
"But Mom, I haven't gotten to swing all morning..."
"Don't you 'but Mom' me Markus! You heard what I said." Sentencing had been pronounced and Mom headed back to the house, leaving Mark no choice but to give up his prized perch.
Brent hopped through the tire, landing on his belly and flying through the air shrieking something about Superman.
"Fun's over Sare, let's go throw a ball for Patch or somethin'."
Sarah had other plans.
"Come on Brent, it will be fun! You can't get going very fast on your own, so let me and Mark help."
Mark recognized the look in Sarah's eyes. It was a look that he learned to fear young. It was the look Brent would have seen last week when they rolled him down the stairs, if he hadn't been wrapped in a blanket giggling his head off. Mark was reasonably sure Sarah just liked to hear boys squeal.
The beauty of her plan began to reveal itself as she began spinning Brent around and around under the guise of letting him go to spin like a top. A perfectly harmless trick and trusting little Brent couldn't find a loophole.
They twisted for 10 minutes solid. The rope was a gnarled mess and the swing was so high off the ground, Mark would soon have trouble reaching it. Even Brent was starting to look nervous.
"Ok Brent, here we go!" The glee in Sarah's voice was unmistakable.
The swing started unwinding fast and only got faster. Brent's hair flew out and his giggles turned in to terrified howls. Mark and Sarah could hear him cry and scream over their hysterical laughing. Mom came running out of the house and arrived just in time to see Brent vomit his fried bologna and juice in a glorious 360 degree spiral pattern. When she could finally get close enough to stop the swing from winding back up, Brent's face was a pattern of purple dots where the blood vessels had burst in his face.
The spankings were heavy handed and the grounding was a full torturous week.
There were some lingering tears in my husband's eyes as he let out one last guffaw and tied the last knot in our son Sam's new tire swing. Sam's uncle Brent is on his way over to teach Sam the joys of a tire swing. I am refraining from making fried bologna.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The mental imagery of the radial vomit spewing is hilarious.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-25 12:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All kinds of awesome. I missed out by being an only child, obviously.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-02 12:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-30 10:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this? How in the name of all that's fuckable did I miss this? I swear, your posts are the kind of awesome that makes me want to [CENSORED] until you [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] the hamster sideways with [CENSORED] blue.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-11-29 20:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the glee that reading that brought me.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-29 17:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't you just love making little kids spew
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-29 17:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff. I approve.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:22:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
No you know why he will never become an Astronaut.
G-forces are a bitch.
Submitted by Fleury75 (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice....
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very, very good.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awe-some.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:24:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've done that...
Not to the point of bursting vessels and throwing up, but I've done the "spin-the-tire-until-you-blackout"
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent story, expertly told.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No you know why he will never become an Astronaut.
G-forces are a bitch.
Submitted by Not_Fade_Away (user info) at 2004-11-29 16:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
Projectile vomit!