If It Wasn't For Me, You'd Look Like An Idiot. (781 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heyzeus (View user info) at 2004-11-29 19:11:25 EST
Man, I am so fucking bored. I'd rather be working. I've beat my meat as much as I can in one day, so I can't do that any more, at least not today. I tried drawing naked women, in hopes that I could get good at it, and be all like "Hey, beautiful model lady. You wanna come back to my doublewide-trailer so I can draw you naked? And you can read my poetry about how depressing my life is. And then you can feel sorry for me and fuck my brains out to make my pain go away." I then realized I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever, lost interest, and started masturbating to the porn I was looking off of.
Every thing I've ever written, and ever will write on this site, is a lie. (Don't forget!) I never beat up a guy in a parking lot, and then stole some hookers money. In fact I don't even work at an airport, that was just a lie. That camwhore was some stupid schmuck I don't even know. The point is, "who cares?" I certainly don't. Or am I lying about this also. If everything I write here is a lie, then wouldn't this post in fact be a lie?
This post exists. There, is that a lie too?
I was looking at my reflection in the computer screen, and I saw the face of God. So I quickly put my dick away, and said "God, why am I an idiot, why must I be plagued with this cancer known as stupidity?" God looked down at my crotch and furrowed his brow. "My son, stupidity is the least of your problems..... You know, they have pills for that. I could hook you up with some Enzyte."
I'm always the creepy guy that pretends to be a girls friend, but is really in love with her but is too much of a gaywad emo dork to make a move. That's how I start out a relationship as the friend, and I hope she'll look past the various birth defects, and have sex with me. It's only ever worked once with this girl in high school. That's how it's always been, but for some reason I'm now actively pursuing a women, well not anymore, it's hard to chase something that's tied to a chair.
OK now that I've gotten all the shit out, maybe I can start writing something that makes since. I know, I'll post this entire load of steaming shit on uber, that'll make me feel better about being an idiot. Cause, pure made up shit always gets alot of hits.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-29 20:07:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is either a work of pure genius or the biggest peice of shit I have ever seen!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmm... Mountain Dew!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-11-30 06:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
see....
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-11-30 06:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus 4
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-11-29 21:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm always the creepy guy that pretends to be a girls friend, but is really in love with her but is too much of a gaywad emo dork to make a move. That's how I start out a relationship as the friend, and I hope she'll look past the various birth defects, and have sex with me. It's only ever worked once with this girl in high school. That's how it's always been, but for some reason I'm now actively pursuing a women, well not anymore, it's hard to chase something that's tied to a chair."
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-11-29 21:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
lol i concur! or do i?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-29 20:07:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is either a work of pure genius or the biggest peice of shit I have ever seen!!
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-11-29 20:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WoooooooooooooooHoooooooo
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A refreshingly deep exploration of the dangers inherent in the duality of Man!!!
... or complete drivel.
I'm leaning towards the latter but this made me smile and I'm feeling generous
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll say.
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:19:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is either a work of pure genius or the biggest peice of shit I have ever seen!!
+2!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-11-29 19:19:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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