Thug Life? (513 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike (View user info) at 2004-11-30 02:10:37 EST
-True Story that happened this Friday, A little short but I thought It was worthy, but my others ones are better-
After the movie and all and a fifth of whiskey. Jerry informs me and Justin that only the "cool" people hang out at Huddle House on Friday Night. We arrive somewhere around 10. As I walk in I notice the employees look like they could sue the circus for denying them occupation. The customers look equally frightening
We settle in place and order, I make my way to the juke box.
A black man named Theo with taped together glasses calls out.
"Hey dawg, what you playing?"
I push in the code for "Grease Lighting".
"I will give you a hint, its a big part of your sex life."
Grease Lighting begins to play.
"Huh? I dont get it man, but your funny."
I move to my seat on the bar, I observe the beast of a lady that runs the place, she is obsolutely wretched. A perm, more tatoos than teeth, and her tities look like a flak jacket for a NFL QB.
"Mister Mister" a voice from behind me calls.
"What?" I see some dipshit with a tie and a t-shirt on come up to me.
"Ho, esasdhbby....doo doo."
"Fuck off man"
My "Fuck Off Man" apparently was the glass jaw of his temper.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUDGE ME? YOU THINK YOUR THE SHIT DONT YOU WELL GUESS WHAT, WE ARE GONNA RUMBLE." he rose to his full 5-5 frame.
"Sorry man, I dont sing"
"AHAHA FUNNY GUY, WELL GUESS WHAT. YOUR GONNA GET A KNUCKLE SANDWHICH...WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND A SIDE ORDER OF BLOOD."
"Alrite, man.....LETS RUMBLE" I answered and we both filed out the door into the parking lot with a crowd behind us.The crowd quickly becomes a circle and Derby Boy bounces all around like a mexican jumping bean. I stand there not knowing what to fully expect. I felt something hit my chest. His derby hat hit the ground before.
"WWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he strained like a Kung Fu master.
Apparently while I was staring off he had thrown his hat at me like Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat. He begins to run at me but before he meets me I sock him one right in his forehead. He cries and Huddle House bans me for life from it's Murray chain.
Fuck Huddle House
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-30 18:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've punched out an a-hole at a Huddle House after 2am, too.
Or Waffle House...same difference.
Submitted by _brittany_ (user info) at 2004-11-30 18:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a crazy bastard, you know that?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"he had thrown his hat at me like Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat."
ah, the thumb-blistering memories.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Kill him. Then eat him.
Submitted by Critical_Mass (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-30 09:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-30 09:28:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Plus a McZillion for reminding me of Kung Lao's existence. Man, that hat was like BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was BZZin' like a motherfucker!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!
WOo!
Good story too...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-30 09:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 5 foot 5...what?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-30 08:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Huddle House is disgusting.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-30 03:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2004-11-30 03:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe. This story made me giggle.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-30 03:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we should kill all black people
's aspirations to want to be thugs.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-11-30 02:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yep. This made me smile.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-30 02:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try not to kill anyone, tough guy.