Rape (1110 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -1.1 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (View user info) at 2004-11-30 11:34:28 EST
Lynndie didn't like living in the bad side of town one bit. It was so filled with aliens that it was called <Insert any racial slur>-town more than its official name. Being a White woman in this area was undesirable. Being an attractive White women was dangerous. Being a religious attractive White women, she always made sure she prayed extra hard.
The churches in town always held their services at night, in the hope that offering a shelter and food together with religious teachings will turn the poverty-stricken population to Jesus and away from crime. This was one such night for Lynndie, as she prepared herself mentally for the harrowing journey to her religious sanctuary.
Her dose of sanity for the week.
The Mexican janitor for her apartment was sitting on the stairs, smoking a joint. He smiled at her.
What was with that expression? Was the lazy fucker leering at her for being a minority in this town? Did he relish the thought of her discomfort?
"You stupid spic! If you're going to steal our jobs, you jolly well do it properly! Stop slacking around like you're still at your Taco farm!"
His eyes darkened considerably. He spoke little English, but intuition was more than adequate for understanding her meaning without understanding her words. He grabbed her by her hair and dragged her screaming into the dark alley. The clothes flew off and he was mounting her in seconds. Mounting her like a goddamn dog. She screamed the whole way through. But in this town, people who responded to screams usually ended up at the morgue with bullet holes in their corpses. Lynndie knew this, but she screamed to take her mind away from this horror, to somehow bring her consciousness to the warm confines of her church.
He came and left.
"What's the matter, Ma'am?" Corporal Zack Winthrop asked as Lynndie quickly walked past the Black cop. "You look awfully pale."
The bloody cop was gloating at her! Surely he thought this was revenge. The White bitch gets raped by a Mexican. He was probably bursting with laughter at the irony.
"SHUT UP, NIGGER!"
In the darkness of the alley, handcuffs were quickly slapped onto her wrists as he flipped her naked body around. Raping her ass while he battered her head with his baton. Too tired to scream anymore, she only thought of how a White-Black-Mexican baby would look like. She laughed, and kept on laughing until her mouth bubbled with vomit.
Madness slipped in through a crack.
Lynndie was running now. The full horror of what happened slammed into her like a 2-ton truck. People on the streets gaped at the hysterical woman dashing around, just like the Mexican and Winthrop did. She ran into church, out of breath. Staggering a few steps before collapsing at the altar in tears.
"Oh sweet Lord Jesus, forgive my sinful thoughts? What have I done? I've been raped before they even touched me."
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-12-01 02:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well clearly this wasn't very good. But it wasn't nearly as bad as some of the reviews indicate. Here's a plus 2 to kind of even it out. I liked the idea, i think you need to work on the execution next time though.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-30 15:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Guess I should explain. The woman never did get raped. The rape scenes are only created in her mind due to her own racism, which explains the ending."
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I read this twice, and then I read the above comment, which sealed my decision for a -2. I just wish you would have made this explanation somewhere within the story, would have made a lot more sense.
Submitted by PyroBeast (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Guess you should stay away from this writing style eh?
+1 because I got the story, and the concept is fine, but not the execution.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, I've never watched the Three Stooges.
The whole triple race baby thing was to reflect the hysteria in her mind, which impended her ability to think rationally, and even laughed about it before puking. An attempt to describe or "paint" terror, not very effective I guess.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 for the subject. That's automatic, whether it happened, was dreamed, thought of or whatever...
-1 for the name... I hate substitution, so much so, I purposly forget the name of that style...
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ay, that be fine with me. Like I said, this was an experiment and a major deviation from my usual writing style, so wasn't expecting a windfall for +2s based on writing either. But I've a feeling that many read the title or subject matter, then -2ed it to oblivion. Which is why I had to explain it so quickly, was hoping I wouldn't have to.
But you rated the writing, so a -2 was perfectly fair if it was bad. :)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:10:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Raping her ass while he battered her head with his baton.
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-1 for plagerism. I saw that in a Three Stooges short.
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Too tired to scream anymore, she only thought of how a White-Black-Mexican baby would look like.
--
-1 for not realizing that the baby could be white/black or white/latino but not all three.
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+2 for writing something that people didn't get.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-30 12:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't beat yourself up so much. I didn't think this was directed at me. Perhaps I was a little harsh. I'm in a sort of fired up mood today. Too much caffeine or something.
I didn't like this. I didn't think it was written very well. I got it and it was an ok idea, but not executed very well. The -2 was not for the subject matter, it was for the writing. Have a 0 to make up for telling you to die. You really shouldn't actually die.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I got it.
Worth reading, so long as you read it properly.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I know the whole rape thing is overdone. But this was never meant to be related to rape madness or targetted at lojope. It was just an attempt at a more abstruct style of writing. Could have chosen a better topic though. Fuck me.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51084#947841
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess I should explain. The woman never did get raped. The rape scenes are only created in her mind due to her own racism, which explains the ending. This piece was meant to be an abstruct one. Ah well, guess I did choose a shitty title. My bad. Sorry if I hurt anyone. -2 away.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know...the racist and religious overtones sealed the -1.
-2 only averted because I've written similar. Seems I managed to get away with it, unlike you.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post raped my fucking eyes and mind. For all people considering future rape posts...Ubersite is full of them, fuck off and complain somewhere else.
www.ipretendtogetrapedforiamanattentionlovingslore.com
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I did read it.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Erm... guys, read it first?
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. You should die. Twice.
Submitted by Critical_Mass (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well fuck me. i stand corrected
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
isn't it cumkwat?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-30 11:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... a rape post
You are SO original..........
...You fucking cumquat.