performance review (997 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.12 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <lodnem.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-02-18 19:34:35 EST
it's a little past the 1 year mark and i find myself ready to go toe to toe with the boss to discuss a raise. like most people after their first year of employment at a new company i looked forward to hearing those words 'it's time for your evaluation' but alas the words were spoken by me and not by the powers that be.
handed to me this afternoon in retort was a sheet of paper with a title saying 'performance review'. on this paper there are small boxes of white space where i can respond to such questions as: Self Evaluation, Future Goals With The Company, Suggestions For The Company and Evaluator Comments.
i've never been asked to do such a thing before. i'm just curious if you guys have ever been asked to do a self review as opposed to just approaching your boss as a human being and talking shop? i plan to do the latter in any case, but this seems a bit comical to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-27 08:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought I would delve back into the history of uber to see all the quality posts there were in the old days before all us peasants arrived and made it rubbish.
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-02-27 16:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good luck Nicole!
Well said. I hope you get a raise. That will really boost tomorrow's ubersex!
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-02-27 14:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So I have my performance appraisal tomorrow and as part of the preparation for it I have to think of my "3 most significant achievements" for this past year.
Here is what I will tell my boss:
1. I was able to improve the performance of the guy I supervise
2. I got the pilot line up and running quickly and have dealt with inordinant numbers of pilot line run requests.
3. I took the initiative to investigate a new product possibility (I made sample materials and tested them out)
Here is what I really think are my most "significant achievements"
1. I didn't kill the guy I supervise
2. I dealt with all the crap that everyone else threw at me and got the pilot line runs done with a decent turn-around time.
3. I didn't kill myself out of boredom (thanks to this site and others like it)
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-02-19 16:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
uuuh, duhr...Scott.
You just contradicted your original post in a huge (well maybe not enormous) way. But I'm outta here. Do me a favor, and when I see you, don't hit me ;-) It's just great fun to give you a rash of shit as much as possible. I thank you for the many, many, opportunities you provide me. You putz.
Loren
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-02-19 14:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey people - stop being such babies. Especially you Loren. You are extremely talented. I have several friends that are artistic and none compare to you.
#1 When in a raise request situation you should always have the hutzpa to consider alternative employ.
#2 When you have talent you should realize that the schmuck reviewing you is performing nothing more than a formality and is in no true position to really assess your abilities.
TGIF's - yes :)
Submitted by nrscase (user info) at 2003-02-19 14:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My experience with performance appraisals is probably similar to a lot of people's - they mean jack. They have already figured out the budget for the year, calculated the average raise and even figured out who should get slightly above or below the average by the time performance appraisals are even begun. Its all a big crock, only done so they can have something to cite when you ask why you got such a shitty raise. It doesn't matter how well you perform or how horrible of an employee you are as you will still get the 5% +/- 1% raise every year. Lots of incentive to do a good job there, which is obviously why I spend a large portion of my day doing nothing.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-02-19 14:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i with you yidele, it's all bs. it feels like a power play where they ask you to beg...that's not cool, and it's not worth the humiliation.
what i ended up doing is putting 50 links to jobs in my area that all pay at least 30% more than what i make now with a big smiley face at the end.
i wouldn't recommend that approach to everyone, but i have a good repoire with the company (or did hehe).
so far i haven't heard anything back though...
;)
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-02-19 14:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Every person in every human resources department in every company - EVER - should be lined up against a wall outside of whatever building they belittle the real workers in, and become something useful - target practice.
Now that would boost MY fucking moral.
Right on Yidele. I feel like I'm being strip searched in front of a bus load of derelicts at a review.
And Scott, quit it, you're starting to scare me.... TGIF's?
L
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-02-19 13:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
performance review? why don't you just ask them to do an anal laproscopy while you're at it?
Reviews suck - you have to lie like a dog to someone who's idly nodding and thinking all along "what a crock of shit, the only reason you haven't quit is 'cause you haven't found anyone who'd pay more for your worthless, lying ass". For those pathetic brainwashed doofi who actually buy the notions that human resources drones use to justify their existence I have a timeshare in a skiing lodge in Schulenburg, Texas. Luckily We don't have to do such things. What we do have to do is humiliating enough - progress reports broken down into individual task feasibility analysis. I keep wondering if I should report the time it takes me to write the report on my report - after all it takes a better part of 2 hours to just sketch out what it is I did and what I will have to do as well as what might interfere with what I planned to do. Worthless, senseless, mind numbing bullshit just so that some middle level drone will justify his existance by forwarding it to his superior. God, I hate the french.
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-02-19 13:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Loren,
Bite me.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-02-19 13:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't sweat it. It's sucks for everyone on both sides. If you're a good employee, the review doesn't mean that much, and if you can write well, which you can, you've got it in the bag. They just like having something to shove in your file.
I need a raise.
Loren
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-02-19 13:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My 1 year comes up March 1st, but it's a unique one year.
I worked for this company for a few years before quitting unexpectedly and on basically no notice (I had trained someone how to do my job, however) to go back to college. It was the act of an immature kid.
When my girlfriend got pregnant almost two years later, I called up the company and asked for my job back. Very surprisingly, they gave it to me with the provision that I was "under close watch" to make sure that kind of shit didn't happen again.
The company has grown a lot since then, and now actually has official policies about things like reviews.
So now I am getting ready for my first annual performace review seven years or so after starting for this company for the first time... too wierd.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-02-19 13:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Very normal.
I'm asked those same things, as well as Q: "How can I improve myself for the benefit of the company" so that means I have to concoct something that I do that isn't fucking awesome. Not possible. ;-)
So I am forced to make up something stupid, like:
A: "Well, I think I need to concentrate on the line quality of some of my flash animations."
Q: What would you like to get out of this company?
A: I look forward to facing challenges, developing outstanding products, and keeping up with the rapidly growing and changing world of technology to bring our company to number ONE in the educational market!
REAL Answer: I want more fucking money, less hours, more vacation time, bonuses, and a parking space.
Iodnem - have fun. Mine's coming up soon, so know you're not alone.
BTW - Scott, you are sucking lately. You'll be a perfect exec. These reviews bite, it's just their way of judging how low we'll sink on the ass-kissing loser scale! Even my manager can't stand them. I think you are being brain washed. xo
Loren
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-02-19 12:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i could see the reasoning behind self-reviews if you work for a large corporation, but i don't. we are a small, powerful and tight group of co-workers.
in that regard, it just seems easier to me to sit down with the boss and hammer out the details face to face. i never liked negotiating via email or even on the telephone.
oh well, we'll see how it goes. depending on the outcome beer is either on me, or beyond me ;)
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-02-18 20:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey lodnem,
Self reviews are actually a good idea. My current employ doesn't go for it but I've used it in the past and it's very constructive. How I would do it is by both employer and employee filling out the same review form. Checkboxes, 1-5 ratings, whatever... When complete you both review the results together. You will almost always find that you will have been more critical of yourself on some items than your employer. Also, particularly if this is your first year, you should show some character by reviewing your boss and the company. Reviews should always go both ways!
Always accept criticisms WITHOUT defense. Never accept a criticism without a goal and timeline that can be used to measure improvement\satisfaction by your employer.
Asking for that raise... Do your homework... then just ask for it. Don't beat around the bush. Once you've asked for it, reassure your boss that you want to work for him\her. Trust me your boss is a human being, growth and compensation are simply facts of life (assuming your request is reasonable) That's where the homework comes in. Get stats, local and national, on your job title. Check the times or wall street journal for cost of living increase percentages. You get the drift. It's very important that the boss tells you how well you do but, it's just as important to be compensated fairly! If the boss gives you a bunch of reasons why it can't be done, then like the criticism, ask about what you can do to get the raise. (anyone else reading this, play nice!). Don't forget the timeline. This give you a chance to bow out gracefully and then consider your options later.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-02-18 20:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lodnem - it's quite normal in well run organizations. To provide a fair and balanced review, the following steps should take place:
1. Your manager should discuss with you and present a report to you of what their current thoughts are with regards to your performance and why, based on the job description you were provided at the beginning of your employment and the alterations to that description that have occurred since, sighting memos, e-mails or other correspondence.
2. You should be presented the opportunity to comment and, if needed, reply to any negative comments. There should be nothing you don't expect as a competent manager will have already addressed these issues as they arise. Any ongoing issues should be dealt with here.
3. You meet again to discuss detail after you have both read and had time to digest the report, say one week. This is where you both agree on opportunities and amendments to your upcoming working strategy. You may ask for further opportunities to earn higher remuneration levels here, depending how it goes!
Don't forget that your performance review is just as indicative of your manager. If there are surprises in the review, you must let them know if it is news to you; after all, your manager should have been counseling you about these issues over the past year, not waiting for the annual review to bring it up. If they do bring out surprises, they are pretty much disclosed as being a poor people manager who needs further training.
No annual review should contain surprises - if they do, you need to consult with your manager and their superior to devise ways to ensure this does not happen again.
This sounds like a very long winded procedure, but if you are being managed well, each step should take no longer than one half an hour.
Hope it's helpful.