Thirteen is not early enough no more... (1054 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -0.06 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sdn1003.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-30 19:39:36 EST
Oh boy... my first post...
About a year ago, my cousin name Kevin came over my house because his parents had to go somewhere for a few hours and I, the 15 year old boy i (was... im 16 now) had to babysit him. This guy was in 5th grade, in kindergarten. Ah kindergarten, where you can seriousy be a kid and not worry about sex, drugs, suicide, etc..
Anywho, we decided to play some PS2 since he likes video games. We decided to play Spider-Man, the movie game. He would play until he gets to the hard parts that needs cordination and skill to beat and thats where i come in. That Spider-Man game was a tough cookie. The AI and shit was all smart and I too, do not have the cordination and skill to beat it. Its sad.. i know.
He told me that this game is too hard and he wants some cheats to pass it. I do not like cheating in video games because it ruins the fun and chalenge, but it's his game, so i dont give. I let him go on my computer with the internet so he can look up cheats. He asked me if it was broadband internet and i replyed with a yes, then i asked him why he asked. He was hesitent for a sec, then responded with, "I want to get the.. eh... cheats faster."
He was in my room.. for half an hour.
I was tired of waiting for those damn cheats and i couldnt beat the level. I kept yelling out "Kevin!!!" and started to go to my room. The door was closed, and he hesited again and said come in.
He was on the IGN site.. writing down the first cheat down on a piece of paper. I was confused.. i mean it shouldn't take 30 min. to look for cheats, especialy when he looked them up before. Fast forward 3 hours and he left the house, i was tired, so i go on my computer.
"Dammit, what was that site called again?" I said, "Wait, i typed it yesterday." So i click on the upside-down triangle to see the recently visited site i typed about computer parts or something. Then i saw this:
^^^
whitehouse.com
codes.ign.com
neopets.com
maddox.xmission.com
www.hotmail.com
www.newegg.com/hardware/noonecares398436549639503.html
"Wait! Whitehouse.com? Hm... nah.. it can't be.. no..."
then i scrolled up...:
^^^
google.com
xxx.com
porn.xom
playboy.com
whitehouse.com
codes.ign.com
vvv
oh man... not only he's looking at porn on my computer... hes looking at it when he is fucking ELEVEN YEARS OLD!!! He is also looking on my comp with sites like "porn.com" and "xxx.com" C'mon, if you are looking at porn, at least get to know some good sites before you storm my comp with viruses.
hold up... google.com? I always type with an www. on it.. lets look at history!
The newbie he was, he did not delete the history. It was searches of the typical xxx and breasts.. then i saw the sadest thing ever...
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=vagina+porn
Wow, he acutally typed vagina porn.... thats hardcore shit. I deleted the history and internet files so i dont get in trouble.
Can a 11 year old kid even bust a nut?
Teaching sex-ed in 5th grade is making little kids look up "codes" on other people's computer.
User Reviews
Submitted by Samer (user info) at 2004-11-30 23:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-30 23:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i forgot the -1 for its lack of humor
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-30 23:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 because you announced you're new
-1 because the beginning paragraoh didn't make much sense and lots of grammer problems
+1 for maddox
Submitted by Natalia_Everitt (user info) at 2004-11-30 22:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-30 22:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-30 21:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
he's gonna see this post one day
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-30 21:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this shit.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your not averaging -2, feel happy.
They don't hate you, they're just like hungry lions.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
actually since you are new here i feel no guilt in linkwhoring on your post http://www.ubersite.com/m/52990
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not particularly well written, or entertaining... but then again, I'm a pedantic asshole.
Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:26:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Story wasn't bad..but..
-2DIE
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
well, i suppose if you're 16, you should get upped from a -2 to -1 for pity's sake
Submitted by goleafsgo (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fair to Good
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-30 20:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I chuckled at this. I also chuckled at the fact that I've typed in a number of random websites, but never porn.com.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Can a 11 year old kid even bust a nut?"
That's about when I started.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:57:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:42:43 (#)
Ranking: -1
Could have been so much better. Try harder in the future.
But you didn't totally kill it so i'll give you a pity plus one, welcome and try to do better in the future.
Submitted by MyPasswordIsMustard (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
While pre-teen orgasms are rather entertaining to a sick pedophile, such as myself... You could have done better. Include pictures next time.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to Uber.
-2 DIE
EAT MY FUCK
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-30 19:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Could have been so much better. Try harder in the future.