I Deleted All my Porn and All I Got was a Shitty 1999 Game (1297 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (View user info) at 2004-12-01 08:04:14 EST
Recently I felt this incredible urge to play Might and Magic VII again. I've always loved that series, with MM6 being the first RPG I ever played, then came Diablo and all the other stuff. Alas, passion for a game cannot overcome technological progress imposed upon us by the soulless Microsoft. MM7 refused to run in Windows XP. Undeterred, I went looking for solutions. Forums all point me to the only fix in the universe: Install Windows 98 on another partition.
Fuck.
This meant a reformat, since it was impossible to simply install Win98 onto XP. Thus, I was faced with a terrible dilemma, reformat and lose all my shit or chuck MM7 into one corner and forget about it. Being a teenage guy with raging hormones added a whole new dimension to the problem. In addition to the data loss, the pain of reformatting and recovery, there was... the porn.
Every guy on Earth with unlimited broadband and a 40GB hard disk will inevitably end up with a common activity, downloading the free porn that Emule and Kazaa has to offer. I'm no exception. To give you an idea about the size of my treasure chest of virtual poon, it's larger than Warcraft 3X, Diablo 2X and Battlefield 1942... combined. We're not talking 12mb small files that ended before your little friend could get hard, think 1 hour long 700mb feature firms.
Fuckity fuck.
In the end, it came down to a choice between the two most painful sacrifices: Spunk or Fun. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I chose the latter. With a tap of the keyboard, Chasey Lain, Jenna Haze and Jenna Jamesonn disappeared into the cum-soaked night, tits and asses bouncing, never to be seen again.
I cried into my pillow.
Then I loaded up MM7, and found bliss again. But I'm sure my penis hates me for substituting a high-resolution cum-swallowing Chasey for the graphical shitfest that is MM7.
Ah well, the female elves do look somewhat... hot?
I'd do her...
God I feel dirty.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-12-01 15:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My favourite game ever is TIE Fighter, and I'm talking about the motherfucking original, not that bullshit X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter garbage. This game can't be used on any system later than Windows 2000, because the joystick I have won't work with anything else.
But you spelled Jenna Jameson's name incorrectly. So you only get a +1.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-01 15:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, no! Where in the world are you going to find more porn?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-01 15:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, you can always download again. i envy you broadband-having bastards. <cries> <ejaculates>
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-01 13:22:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You can always get it again.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-01 11:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You...
Poor...
Bastard...
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-12-01 09:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bye bye porn indeed. I'm a dumbass.
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2004-12-01 09:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you fool.......you should have downloaded symantec ghost, made an image of your drive, saved it to cd, then done what you did, and then when your done playing you can just copy the image back. Oh well......say bye bye porn......bye bye
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-12-01 09:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Education was fun for me, my teacher had a hot ass.
On a 40 year-old onion-eating body.
What?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who said education couldn't be fun?
Oh sweet jeebus I didn't just say that.
Submitted by PyroBeast (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow I'm the first to actually rate the post without getting into technicalities. Made me laugh.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I didn't know about that. Mainly because PM is the easiest way to do it. So I was looking for a method that let me use wizards as much as possible.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough, but I thought PM did that for you.... Maybe I was mistaken.
Alternatively you could have copied the XP boot files to the win98 partition and run fixmbr and / or fixboot from the windows XP CD, if memory serves.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:10:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I got partition magic, but I still had to install Win98 before WinXP. The older OS always go first, that's what the Microsoft Forums said about dual booting.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-01 08:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Partition Magic, fool... Dual boot.
2) Get a bigger hard disk. 120gb = £50