Jetta Theory (2219 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.06 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (View user info) at 2004-12-01 15:53:27 EST
Inspired by: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53103
Jetta Theory: The prevailing theory in Massachusetts that the vast majority of people who drive Volkswagen Jettas are Hot Chicks.
Jetta theory had been a joke between my boys and I back in high school, whether or not we came up with it - I don't know. We noticed that EVERY jetta in the parking lot of BFHS was driven by a hot girl.
In college,one girls I dated, a few of my female friends, and a few of my buddy's girlfriends drove Jettas. They were ALL hot. Bar none.
Attending an Engineering school, we knew we had to take some kind of survey, so one afternoon on a road trip to Boston to catch a Celtics game, we decided to take a survey. We'd look at the driver and occupant of every Jetta we saw, and deem whether them hot or not.
Sure enough, our hypothesis panned out. We saw 15 Jettas between Worcester and Boston, and 14 of the drivers were hot chicks. That is over 93%.
There has to be a reason for this statistical anomoly - do hot chicks get together and decide that they will buy jettas? does a girl buy a jetta, and then become hot? Do the fates somehow know that a girl will drive a jetta someday, and decree that she be a smoking hot piece of ass?
I don't know. But every time I see a jetta, I call out "Jetta Theory," and look at the occupant of the vehicle. And more often than not, its a hot chick.
Try it out for yourself...See if Jetta Theory applies on other parts of the country.
I know for a fact that in Syracuse, 80% of Jetta drivers are not hot chicks, but in fact huge douchebag faggot dudes. Maybe they're not douchebag faggots, but I get my I'm-going-to-see-a-hot-chick-driving-this-jetta hopes up every time I see a jetta, only to have them destroyed by the sight of a guido in cheap sunglasses.
Jetta Theory is now batting .500 - applicable in the Mass/RI area, not applicable in the Syracuse, NY area.
Does it work by you?
Do you know why Jetta theory is?
I don't know the answer to either of these questions; if you do, please let me know.
User Reviews
Submitted by ljcsponger87 (user info) at 2005-03-30 18:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
after reading this, the same theory i heard of a while back came up about jettas in the jersey shore area. now that i think about it, its usualy hot chicks, or lame guys driving them. And only a half hour before reading this, i bought a Jetta..and im not a chick or a lame guy, so i may of single handley broken the theory
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-12-06 16:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-06 16:44:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahha
and on a side note I hear you have a hot sister
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I can't pass judgement on that - all I can say is that everyone in my family is beautiful. We look like celebrity offspring or something.
I'd hate for my sister to be the one to spoil Jetta theory. But when she wanted to sell the car, I took the liberty of doing so (knowing that selling a Jetta would probably lead to meeting hot chicks) and the girl who bought it was hot. Got four grand for a '96 Jetta - Acura only wanted to give her 1300 beans or something. It's amazing what a little wax and some tire shine can do.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-12-06 16:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot chicks drive Jettas in New York too. We have that theory as well.
I sold my sister's Jetta to a hot chick. Don't ask about my sister, though, I'll beat you senseless.
The new now hot chick car is the newest body style two-door Accord, though. My ex has one. She was hot.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In Los Angeles the "hot chicks" drive a benz.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good idea.
But in Denver, it's 50/50 M/F, and in the female, at best it's 70/30 hot/not...
What you forget is that most younger girls who drive Jetta's had their parents buy them, so the parents also had money for a lot of other stuff.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting theory... not enough Jettas on the road over here to really take a meaninful survey... but there are plenty of hot chicks, so it's not an issue as much....
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the first sentence and BAM! +2
I developed the same theory in college.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
All's I know is, if you drive a Volkswagen, then you're a dick. Hot chick or not.
Although, for statistical purposes, my sister-in-law drives a Jetta (she's a dick) and I'd have to say that she could be considered "hot" if it weren't freaky to think about. You can add that to the tally for wherever the fuck it is I live.
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm a hot chick that wanted a jetta, but ended up with a kia instead, one of the other most girly cars i have seen on the road.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
there actually is some truth to this - the NTHSA did a study on percentage of gender to vehicle make last year.
The leader among females is the VW New Beetle - 70% of Bugs are owned by females. The Jetta placed 3rd, as I recall.
The leader among males? Dodge Viper - 92% of Vipers are owned by males.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a super hot chick and I drive a jeep wrangler
VRRRROOOOOMMMM
look out!
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, also dont forget to factor in the guys who drive it. They are all fruity, 100% of the time.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not true in Cleveland, man. You'd be lucky to pull out a 30% hot chick factor. Mostly just flamers.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My girlfriend's a hot Jetta chick.
But I have a Jetta theory of my own, that they're all horrible drivers who in one way or another attempt to kill me.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in Burlington, VT. There's more Jettas here than Republicans. On my walk home tonight, I'll count and report.
By the way, there are as many Subarus here as Hondas! (by my one day statistical analysis) weird!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-01 16:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you're on to something - all 3 of the people I know who drive Jettas are hot chicks. Weird.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-01 15:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this post sucks. i just wanted to see if everyone else is aware of jetta theory.
<sigh>
i suck.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2004-12-01 15:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew one guy with a jetta in highschool; he was a flaming homosexual film-maker.