The Best Home-made Helmets. (1024 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Triple Optics (View user info) at 2004-12-01 17:32:55 EST
Have you ever sat there and thought, "If I run at this wall, what will protect my head the best?". Well I have. Drink driving can kill, burning buildings can kill, running at a brick wall with no support? Yes, it can kill, and it will kill.
I've taken it upon myself to test out the best in 'Running at brick wall Armoury'.
Baking Foil: 0 out of 10
This was the first mistake I made. I became vain and wanted to look good. Did I look good? No, I looked like a tool bag who was just about to run into a wall. The only difference was my head looked like a turkey being put in the oven. This Helmet gave me no support, and I have to stop the test due to concussion.
(Four Days Later)
St. Patrick's day Novelty Guinness Hat: 2 out of 10
This hat is not just for special occasions like graduations or weddings. No! You can use it all year round. I could feel this helmet was going to give me more support than the baking foil, but whether it can withstand the impact, we will have to find out...
...Nope. A bit more cushioning but not enough to protect my skull. I will have to find a new wall due to the blood splatter. The test will continue when I return from hospital.
Empty Stella Artois 24 Bottle Beer Crate: 5 out of 10
What a fantastic night that was. I didn't want to waste the crate so I had two decisions; build a mini fortress for my hamster, or place it on my head and run into a brick wall like a disabled child. The latter seemed the easiest choice. Preparation was essential with this helmet. Eye holes needed to be put in place so you could see were you were running. Like I always say, safety is everything.
This gave me a lot better support than the previous two, but there was still something missing. Oh yes, my eye. Thanks to this marvellous helmet, I lost my eye. It did in fact stop some of the impact, but I now cant see properly. Bollocks.
Pillow Case With Eye Holes: N/A
I don't know what possessed me to try this idea. It seemed good at the time. Maybe because I have lost thousands upon thousands of brain cells. I can't give a score for this helmet, mainly because I got chased by a group of rather large black people.
The Kitchen Bin: 7 out of 10
**Please be aware to empty the contents of the bin. It will not work if the bin is full**
It all depends with type of bin you use, but I have opted for a 5mm thick plastic bin. Obviously if you have a large head use a large bin. If you have an irregular shaped head, then try a square bin. I felt confident charging at the wall with this on my head....so I did. From 20 metres.
And it worked! It actually worked! Halleluiah! The bin did crack, my mum is really upset, my neck is sort of sticking out, but I can walk!
My advice?
Either use a kitchen bin, buy a proper helmet or don't run into walls.
User Reviews
Submitted by Screwyouall (user info) at 2004-12-02 08:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dumbass
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-12-02 04:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-01 20:14:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
My son, you have made great sacrifices in the name of science.
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Yes, i thought i should share it with the world
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-01 20:14:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My son, you have made great sacrifices in the name of science.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by doesntmatter (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:04:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man...im laughing my ass off...don't know why...
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did i ever tell you guys i am easily amused.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're one fucked up dude... but I can't help but like you.
Cunt!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
build a mini fortress for my hamster, or place it on my head and run into a brick wall like a disabled child
WATERHEAD!
Oh god, I'm hurting here...
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:41:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit T_O, this was the most pointless post evah.
So why did I laugh my ass off?
-Davros
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I just thought i nice bit of light hearted entertainment.
Submitted by doesntmatter (user info) at 2004-12-01 18:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man...im laughing my ass off...don't know why...
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Noted.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ehhhhh....
ok, it was alright.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man...you are one weird dude
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:39:20 (#)
Ranking: -1
the picture took longer than the post, didn't it?
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no.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit T_O, this was the most pointless post evah.
So why did I laugh my ass off?
-Davros
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is all really good advice. Thanks!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
the picture took longer than the post, didn't it?