The best birthday in recent memory (I can’t remember any of my other ones) (1159 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.78 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2004-12-01 19:14:10 EST
Today, as many of you know, is my birthday. This probably won't be a surprise to any of you, but I'm 16 today. Yeah, yeah, I know... How can someone so young be so awesome? To tell you the truth, it's all a sham. I'm not awesome. I just pretend to be.
DECEMBER FOOLS!
Today was quite possibly the greatest day that humanity [read: I] will ever see. It was much, much better than last year.
This morning, everything went perfect. I woke up on time, the shower was perfect, I didn't have to search for an hour to find my keys, and I actually had clean clothes readily available for a change. Normally it's the classic guy wardrobe selection, where I wander around the house aimlessly, randomly picking up a shirt, a pair of pants, or a pair of socks, sniffing them, and saying one of two things:
"Holy JEEBUS, that's rancid."
Or:
"A little bit of Brute will make this smell quite nicely."
Anyways, I'm getting off topic.
I got to school on time (for the first time since school started) and was greeted with a slew of "Happy birthday!" wishes from my male friends and hugs from my female friends.
I got a ton of free candy, including but not limited to: Skittles, Starburst, Snickers, and Hershey's.
I got several pictures of extremely hot chicks passionately licking my neck.
I got a painting of a penis (Thank you, J-Dirty.)
But most importantly, and by far my favorite, was the fact that I got to see and talk to Ricky, whom I haven't been able to see in ages.
I also got a letter from a girl I've been chasing for MONTHS. She wrote it on my arm and made me promise not to read it until I make my birthday wish. Did I read it yet? Yes. Am I going to say what it says? Probably not.
Ricky drove me home and we had a bit of fun being stupid for a while, then he had to go.
My dad came home with the cake mix and icing. He baked the cake and I iced it.
Ricky's coming back later on and we're going to dance naked in my back yard whilst smearing our bodies with chocolate icing.
Estimated number of:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES: 350+
CANDY BARS/BAGS: 50
HUGS: 200+
PROMISES FOR EXUBERANT AMOUNTS OF DRUGS: 12
POSTS ABOUT ME ON UBER: 1+
IMS FROM PEOPLE WHO REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY: 8
SMILES ON MY FACE:
User Reviews
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 23:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, I think you missed my point.
What I'm saying is that Tim called me out for something that didn't involve him at all, and you made a comment. I was obviously pissed in the first place, so there wasn't much to expect but for me to go ape shit on you.
You're saying that I hate you. I don't. I reserve my hatred for people who deserve it, like Degreeless. She deserves my hatred. She earned it. She worked hard to earn it.
You've made a few comments here and there that annoyed me, and you've made some that genuinely pissed me off. No big deal. Nothing personal.
This is unrelated, but this is the internet. It doesn't mean that the person you say something to isn't real. It's the same as if you speak over the phone or via snail mail. You do have feelings, as do I. People wonder why I get pissed because of things said on a website, and my answer is this: All this website is, theoretically speaking, is a very, very large room filled with people. Some people fight, some fuck. Some laugh, some cry. People make friends, and they make enemies.
Anyways, enjoy getting drunk.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-03 23:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, I don't mean to be condescending but maybe you take all of this a bit too seriously. All this "truce" stuff and all. This isn't the UN. I called you out just because I felt like it. Not to create an Internet diplomatic incident. Most people don't really give a shit about you, I certainly don't. Same goes for me. Most will ignore my antics because 99% of what I say is based on my self-made assumptions.
"From this point on, I will rate and reply in accordance with how I feel, not whether I like the poster or not."
I hope you do just that.
Have fun. Gone get drunk.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
However, the way you called me out for attacking lojo, that was fucked up.
It didn't involve you at all. I've currently got Tim blocked on messenger, even though I'm supposed to be getting a package from him. I'm done with the uber bullshit. I'm done with shutting up to keep drama from happening. From this point on, I will rate and reply in accordance with how I feel, not whether I like the poster or not.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, honestly... I'm done hating you.
We called a truce, so I'm done with my feud with you.
Maybe I'm stretching the truth, but I've definitely seen you call others out on their grammatical errors.
Regardless, I'm done fighting with you. Most of my superlative nominations were meant to be in good humor, not as insults.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to upgrade your observation skills.
Look, I know you hate me but at least find some arguments that are actually true. I do go ape shit when someone points out my english errors. I go ape shit because it's my second language so I would expect some tolerance. So, usually that's what I point out, that I'm an ESL, not people's own errors. It might have happen on rare occasions but far from enough to give that silly award.
You can still hate me in many different ways though. Just find something that fits my case. Like that I'm an opnionated arrogant prick who makes assumptions. That would be a nice start.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul:
I've noticed that whenever someone points out one of your syntax errors, you go ape shit on them pointing out every minor error in every post they've ever made.
Okay, that's embellishing a bit. You go ape shit and call them out on the errors they make when they call you out.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-12-03 19:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know it's a couple days late, but...
Happy Birthday!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-03 19:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Biggest grammar/typo nazi: CaulinCourt (Fucking ironic.) "
I know this isn't related, but I don't recall being very severe with people's spelling since I know my syntax is lacking. Please elaborate.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 07:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-12-02 22:27:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
here's a free birthday suggestion: grow up.
i've just been looking into the backgroud of why you suddenly landed in one of my posts with this:
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-20 22:23:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
go circle jerk with apollo and write something entertaining.
--
the answer was easily found. you had a little fight with apollo in which he insulted you with the same words. knowing apollo and i are friends, you decided to lash out at me with a bit of nastiness.
very simple and obvious and extremely fucking pathetic.
i know you will say 'i only rate the post, not the poster, and your post was shit blah blah' but if you are capable of even the smallest degree of introspection, which you probably aren't, you will realise that is bullshit.
doing the whole revenge minus two thing is pathetic under any circumstances, but even more so when you do it to the FRIENDS of people you dislike
---
Shandy, I thought you were apollo's alter..
Anyways, it was a retaliatory rating. I'm not going to deny it. I will apologize, however. Won't happen again.
Submitted by RapSupaStar (user info) at 2004-12-02 22:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happy late bday dawg, very funny post... guy wardrobe, ye i knoz wut joo mean. definitely plus 2, u got potential....
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-02 22:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday, a day late.
Not to be a buzzkill, but, it's all downhill from here. After the teenage years it's nothing but bills and bullshit.
just kidding, except about the bills, that part is true.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-12-02 22:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
here's a free birthday suggestion: grow up.
i've just been looking into the backgroud of why you suddenly landed in one of my posts with this:
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-20 22:23:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
go circle jerk with apollo and write something entertaining.
--
the answer was easily found. you had a little fight with apollo in which he insulted you with the same words. knowing apollo and i are friends, you decided to lash out at me with a bit of nastiness.
very simple and obvious and extremely fucking pathetic.
i know you will say 'i only rate the post, not the poster, and your post was shit blah blah' but if you are capable of even the smallest degree of introspection, which you probably aren't, you will realise that is bullshit.
doing the whole revenge minus two thing is pathetic under any circumstances, but even more so when you do it to the FRIENDS of people you dislike.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
...happily and merrily....
la
la
la
Ah fuck it. Happy sweet 16, and don't kill yourself or anyone else when you get your driver's permit.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sigh.
I remember when I used to blissfully count my candy bars joyfully...
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Happy birthday.
Holy Shiite, I'm old.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-12-02 01:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad it continued to go well, man. I came home from pool late; they had a Maxim covergirl contest at the bar. We'll catch back up soon.
Happy Birthday again.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-12-02 01:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And by it, I mean 'Happy Birthday'.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-12-02 01:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday! I'd IM you, but the computer is acting all funny-like. Otherwise, I'd definitely sing it at you.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-12-02 00:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
b@w
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-12-02 00:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Buddy,
I'm glad I checked Uber today. Happy Birthday.
Glad to hear it was a good one.
(Post a picture of you naked covered in Icing for Degreeless)
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-01 23:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
terrible post.
HBD though!
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 23:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And a "Happy Birthday" accompanied by a -2...
Would it mean anything to you?
Thank you, though, if you meant it.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 23:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Degreeless, I'd rather you -2 me.
I want nothing to do with you, honestly, but when I see a post on the MRR, I can't see whose it is. If I click on it and am greeted by a steamy pile of moldy shit, It's going to get a -2.
And you WERE being a hypocrite. You whine about my -2s and then give me one? At least don't fucking lie when you complain.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got sick of putting up with it. This is the FIRST -2 you've gotten from me in a very long time. I didn't feel it was a great post, anyway. I did wish you happy birthday, though. Why can't you be happy with that?
If you're gonna be a baby about it, here's a 0.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was 16 once, back in the dark ages.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On my birthday: (October 20, 16 now)
Estimated number of:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES: 2
CANDY BARS/BAGS: 0
HUGS: 0 (Not even from my girlfriend)
PROMISES FOR EXUBERANT AMOUNTS OF DRUGS: 0
POSTS ABOUT ME ON UBER: 0 (Never will be either)
IMS FROM PEOPLE WHO REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY: 0
SMILES ON MY FACE: 0
Sorry for my bitterness, it's just not so great having your birthday also be the worst day of the year. So far...
Anyway, Happy Birthday, have a +2 although it doesn't mean shit coming from me cause I've never posted anything, therefore it doesn't count and nobody could care if I review there post or not.
Everyone can just ignore me and my random ranting, I'm done now...
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday, sounds like yours was much more fun than mine are. I'm 16 on January 19th, woop dee
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday, have a +2
Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great!
MMM_Beefy
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dunno why, but I enjoyed this. Happy birthday.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"They know that I try to ignore you, yet you keep pulling the same god fucking damn bullshit on each and every one of my fucking posts."
Hypocrite.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-01 22:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Happy birthday.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:40:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay exuberant amounts of drugs!
Oh, and happy birthday. It kind of sucks that I'm older than you, yet nowhere near as awesome.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay exuberant amounts of drugs!
Oh, and happy birthday. It kind of sucks that I'm older than you, yet nowhere near as awesome.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday!
But fuck you for having such a good day...
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-12-01 21:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday, politics Iraq!
You're an awesome author!
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday!:)
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because you were drunk and kept reading your 9's upside down.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you told me were 19 when we cyber.....ahem.....
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They get better.
Just think, in 5 years, you'll get all this, PLUS free alcohol.
Wait... Todays kids get that anyway, don't they...
Damn...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's from spedmonkey: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a great night and a GREAT Birthday!!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-12-01 19:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're only 16? Now I feel old.