this is what i dream (532 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.45 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by splintergirl (View user info) at 2004-12-02 18:27:12 EST
she enters the room slowly, closes the door behind her and sits crossed-legged in front of him. he simply stares, his eyes bloodshot, eyelids purple. her voice begins in a whisper, barely audible, but he strains to hear what she has to say.
"i really never believed i could be capable of something like this, you know? it used to be that i only wanted these things in my thoughts, in my dreams. but now, feeling this, it courses through my veins, it has become my blood. it is who i am now..."
she looks up at him. ashamed of how she is perceived, guilty of the cravings that eat away her will power. she stretches her legs a little, cracks her knuckles and lets her hair fall into her eyes. unaware that he is watching her every move, she sighs slightly and curls her toes under her feet.
"and i wish i could of let you feel what i am sooner than today. i don't know what it must be like for you, to hear me talking about all this beauty. and all i can do is thank you for listening to me. all i can do is thank you..."
she stands up, moves closer to him and looks him in the eyes. the depths of blue provoke a rush of memories for her. she remembers when they first met. she had been sitting under her favorite tree in the cemetery and he had walked up to her, surprised to see another soul in this place of mourning. his eyes were the first thing she had noticed and it took her a few days of seeing him to realize that the rest of his features were just as captivating. his hair was shoulder length, stringy, dark brown, always in his face. he was skinny, every rib was visible when he removed his shirt, every bone in his back pressed against his pale skin. he always looked so innocent, so angelic...
back in the present, she leaned up to him and kissed him on the forehead. she smiled softly, tears in her eyes, and whispered gently
"forgive me"
she walks over to the wall and starts to unwrap the rope knotted around a metal handle. grasping the rope in her hands, she pulls as hard as she can and ties the rope around the handle again. she turns and walks over to the table where she kepst her tools. she chooses carefully for this event, for it is to be the final stage in his experience. after tonight he will finally see what she dreams.
"i never thought this moment would finally be here. after all this time i've been talking about this, it's finally here. you will know... you will see..."
she turned to him and studied him. she could see what her tightening the rope did to him. he was now suspended higher from her ceiling, the hooks in his back were pulling tighter, extending his skin farther from his spine. the rope in his mouth was still preventing any noise from being uttered and the needles keeping his eyes open still pained him. he was still bleeding from the wounds she inflicted on him the day before, preparing him for what was to come today. scars from the preceding weeks covered his chest and back.
"are you ready?"
she didn't wait for any sign from him and in one movement quickly forced her knife into his stomach, right under his ribcage, and ran it down his torso. she removed the rope from his mouth and closed her eyes to listen to his screams. this was the deepest she had ever cut him, and she wanted to remember it. she stood under him and washed herself in the blood that poured from his body. when she thought he had bled enough for her, she backed up a few inches, climbed up onto the table and wrapped the noose she had prepared around her own neck. she knew he would still be alive to see her death, it was what she had planned, it was the only way he could know. before she stepped off the surface and into darkness, she looked into his eyes one last time.
"this is what i dream"
(i know i didn't capitalize stuff, it's not my style. so comments on content not capitalization please. thanks!)
User Reviews
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I read this a second time. its like one of those catchy tunes your not sure of the first time round but it sticks in your head the second time.
Id like to read more of your work.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
See, it's not that bad sweetie!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I for one liked the no capatilizations. And this was pretty good. Plus two, welcome to uber.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't terrible.... but (while I realise it was intentional), but the whole no caps thing irritated me. I would've enjoyed reading this more if you changed your style and embrace the joy and wonder of the Shift key.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop reading Clive Barker and those dreams will go away.
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the no caps thing is for two reasons. 1. because for some things i write it's for the style, which is hard to explain i guess. 2. because i'm lazy. haha.
Submitted by Samer (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont get the "no caps" thing but it was well written. just very dark material. promise me one thing! if we ever meet in a bar and im drunk. please dont take me home with you.
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks seralena, seems like you'll be the only one who does like it the way things are going so far.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:41:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
splinters hurt.
much like reading this post did.
didnt even finish it.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:36:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking stupid.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The capitalization thing distracted me, but I'm not taking off for that, just telling you. You'll get comments on that whether you like it or not.
It was also a bit too gruesome for me. Still, I liked it.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking stupid.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-12-02 18:29:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 especially for the perfect capitalization!