El Mariachi: Kick Ass Movie Review (639 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.5 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UrDrunknImag (View user info) at 2004-12-02 19:24:16 EST
Before Robert Rodriguez made it big with Spy Kids (insert dumb name that plays towards kids love of color and McDonalds) and ended this trilogy with a shitty movie, there was El Mariachi. This was his first venture into the movie business and thank god he got to make a sequel to this.
First of all Desperado kicks almost as much ass as Army of Darkness, so you have to watch El Mariachi to not end up disappointed in this movie's toned down amount of ass kick. But still it kicks ass, so much so you don't even notice the subtitles, there is so little dialogue that you don't even care that the movie is in Spanish. Just turn on the director commentary and its even better.
The movie is beyond cool and since the editing is so fast you never notice the little screw-ups that happen when you film one take. Considering that this movie is a miracle that it came out as it did, even more than a miracle than the shit movie named Miracle (We beat the Soviets, lets barely mention we nearly lost the next game! This makes it look like we ended the terrorist crisis and the gas shortage with winning a single hockey game, played 4 hours before the broadcast! I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! YES!)
Despite the fact Robert Rodriguez movies basically suck now, this and Desperado don't. Even with the lack of Steve Buscemi this movie soars. Watch it for its cool action scenes done with real guns and less than sub-par equipment. All he had was his guitar and a dream, to be a mariachi like his ancestors, but that's all taken away from him. However he does become Antonio Bandaras so that's pretty sweet, unless you don't like being a latin love symbol who married a hog with half the jelly squeezed from her ass into her lips. He probably kicks those lips like he did ass in Desperado, so maybe it's not so bad, I hope.
User Reviews
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
El Mariachi kicked ass. No doubt.
Submitted by UrDrunknImag (user info) at 2004-12-02 20:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your right he did. Unfortunately that was the only thing that did his cock got more action then the Mariachi whose dick was cut off when Salma Hayek got shot. Thats why he hangs out with that pussy Enrique Igleias.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
johnny depp rocked out with his cock out in 'once upon a time in mexico"
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-12-02 19:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My Antonio Banderas love doll commands me to give you a +2.
Who am I to argue with that?!