Camwhore: Sully-style (1312 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.44 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sully (View user info) at 2004-12-02 23:14:50 EST
I haven't been completely honest about who I am. In a previous post of mine, I had a crude MS Paint drawing of myself which was completely inaccurate of my true appearance. My username too-"SullyThePirate" is just as misleading. I'm not a pirate at all. I'm actually an outdoors type kind of guy and I've never in fact seen an ocean in person, let alone sail on one. I figured pirates were cool so adding it on to my username would somehow make me so much more cooler than I already am.
At this point in my life, work just isn't for me. Currently unemployed, I usually just wander in the forest and throw my hatchet around, ending the existences of various bears and rabbits and such. Sure this practice doesn't amount to much but slinging sharp objects at animals just gives me an erection you wouldn't believe... don't worry though, I don't eat them or anything like that. I just make tender love to the carcasses sometimes if I'm feeling lonely. Sure, I'll find a job eventually but for now I'll just be a parasite to my wife Michaela's income. She just happens to be a doctor. JACKPOT! She's the only doctor in town so the loot just rolls right in. She's my sugar momma. Plus she makes damn good ham sandwiches.
Unfortunately, a lot of the money has to be put towards food and clothing for those three faggot kids she just had to adopt. Charitable bitch. I haven't gotten new clothes in years because according to Michaela: "The children are growing so they need clothes more than you do, Sully." Can you believe that? My only outfit is some Indian piece of shit garb I stole awhile back. It smells like dead babies, swear to god.
I guess my Indian clothes aren't so bad though. People stare at me in either respect or disgust, I'm not sure which, but at least it makes me feel good about myself. I love the attention of others which is why I decided to grow my hair out like a hippie. Not only do I get attention with my long hair and Indian clothes, I even made friends with one real Indian (or 'Native American' as he likes to be referred as due to some lie he keeps telling himself) and we're pretty good friends. He taught me how to ride a bike and shit so he's one pretty cool mofo.
There's obviously a fad going around of 'camwhoring', so here it goes...
This is a pretty recent photo of myself doing a Glamour Shot. That's my hatchet by the way. Her name is Claire. Oh and be nice, I didn't wear any make up.
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2004-12-30 07:22:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're my 100th review! Hooray!
And anything that "smells like dead babies" is AWESOME.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-29 12:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you James Franciscus?
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, pirates kick way too much ass.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-03 14:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope just Horace Bing's fecal matter. I'm actually blonde but you can't tell.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-03 14:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you use herbal esscence?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-03 14:39:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:23:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I take your land?
I don't even have any land. If you call that few square feet spot in the woods where I take shits, than sure you can have it.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-12-03 12:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Henceforth you will be known as SullyTheWoodsman
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:18:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
SULLYTHEPIRATE NIPPLE SLIP!
I don't see a nipple...funny none the less...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I take your land?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
why did i not see that coming?
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-12-03 08:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Moly! The bastard's rich!
-- Homer Simpson
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-12-03 08:36:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+500 for Dr. Quinn.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-12-03 08:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh-huh.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i had a hatchet once. i posted about it. now its gone, the cops stole it.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:39:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your throwing stance, guy.
Submitted by goleafsgo (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oooooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaah
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SULLYTHEPIRATE NIPPLE SLIP!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shenanigans. That's Joe Lando you piece of shit cockgobbler. God you suck.