Going 70 on interstate 71… and puking (426 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jakesak (View user info) at 2004-12-02 23:23:23 EST
Well after switching schools, I had some books to sell back to make 10% back of the $250 I paid earlier this spring. So it was set that I would make the 2 hour trip to Ol' C-Bus town, and sell back my books, and meet up with some old friends.
I told one of my bosses that I could not come in on Friday because I had a family thing (Alcoholism is a family thing right?). Anyways, I get into town around 2 PM and park right next to the Frat my friends live. Go upstairs and meet everyone to say "Hi", then I watched them play NCAA 2004 on playstation for a hour, all the while I was insisting on going to the bar. Finally after the end of the game, 3 overtimes mind you, we head out to the bar for "Beat the Clock." Basically it is $3 at 2 o'clock for a pitcher and it raises a dollar per hour. So I get 2 pitchers for $4 each for a grand total of $8 spent. (Fuck the tip, I won't see them again). And I am feeling fine. Then we head back to the frat to sit and wait until night. Well being proactive I said I want to get more drunk, being it is 4 o'clock. Well one person who went to the bar decided to take a nap, pussy.
So I call up some other friends and head over to their place. Sit and drink beers on their porch until around 6. They know of a party a few blocks over that has kegs. Me not wanting to pay any more, says I'm in. Well the mix of the draft at the bar and the cheap Natty light do not mix well in my stomach, but I have done worse. At around 8:30 we head over to the party, more of a random people surrounding the keg. After the first meet and greet of the only person to know only one person, we find a keg and get our cups filled. I down mine and get inline again for another cup; I already planned on not remembering this night. Get my cup and go back to the tight circle we formed with everyone we came with. Then my cell phone rings: My work wanting to know where I am at. I decide not to answer in my non sober state.
Then comes the sometimes funny, sometimes scary word: COPS. Not wanting to get arrested again, and tackled and spend the night in jail(never fun), I set down my cup and walk away quickly as the cops have their flashlight flashing in random directions. I manage to stumble away with the group and we converse on where the next party is. Not knowing where I am at, nor caring, I follow the mob to a house right next to the frat. Instead of taking beer from people I don't know, I go to the frat where I know people and take beer from them. Well I barely make it up the 3 floors and walk in on a beer pong game being played. I slur " I'm next" and grab a beer. I then look for a partner. The first person I see is the old girlfriend/fuck buddy of one of the guys I was with right before. I ask her, she says "yes", and asked me if I remembered one of the girls from: http://www.ubersite.com/m/52523 . I mumble something incoherent about hairy nipples. Then it is our turn to play.
Being a normal pong player, I can make my fair share of shots but I can not carry a team. And that is just what I tried doing. Right after the first shot was "ponged??" she informed me she had to drive home and that I would be drinking all that was in our cups. I laughed right in her face. She did not laugh. I then laughed again because I realized I might get screwed. After reading one of the rules written on the wall, "Must finish your drink before you throw" I knew I was screwed. I put up a valiant effort but I lost something like 9 cups still left on the table. All the while my former roommate is telling me I will be puking by the end of the night, I in turn tell him to "Fuck off." I grab another beer, after finshing all that was left, and take a seat on the couch. Then things become foggy.
At one point they played NCAA 2004 again. The former boyfriend comes and meets up with his fuck buddy(would have liked to see the exchange of greetings, but I was passed out). And finally, the guy who went with me to the bar, the guy that had spent so many times drunk together, and the same fucking guy who took a nap earlier, throws a Laz-E-Boy chair back at my past-out self. I mean come on, a chair back? It left a nasty rug burn too. Well I hold on to that for dear life and pass back out. I then wake to find someone who is standing next the trashcan and yell his name and point to my mouth. I get the point across. I then proceed to vomit everything I had eaten that day, and some stuff that I had eaten two weeks before hand(I don't know where the gap in food went).
I wake up in the morning without marker on my face, which is always a plus, and drink some water and take some advil. I then do what I meant to do, take back my books.
For a grand total of over $300 or so spent, I get back $45.
Then in the parking lot my stomach felt odd, as if I had been drinking but all the alcohol was well vomited out. Then it came, the water and advil. Out my mouth and nose and most likely my eyes too. After getting cleaned up and shrugging off the weird looks of passer-bys, I set myself for the long haul, 2 hours. I grab another water bottle and get on 71.
I down 3/4 of the bottle of water and hit the outer belt, then same sinking felling hit me. I looked for an exit, but as fate would have it, from mile marker 100 to 65 there are no exits. I puked out of the window going 70. All of it was on the side of the car and probably the car behind me. Sorry red jeep. Well I finally made it to one of those cop turn-a-round things and wiped myself off like a 5 dollar whore. I got back in and drove the rest of the hour and an half to my house, where I promptly got in the shower and puked up the nasty tasting yellow stuff and off to bed I went. When I woke, I had to work, so I went in half hung over and half thinking of a good excuse why I didn't answer the phone Friday night.
And all I got from the trip was rug burn, the $45 went to the gas spent going and coming back.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like you.
OK, I don't, but I don't hate you.
OK, I do, but I haven't shit on your grandmother.
OK, I did, but she liked it.
Yeah...
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-12-03 11:02:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what section of 71? i take 71 Northbound in Cleveland every day.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-03 08:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WOOOO PARTYYYYYYYY
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:01:13 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for "sorry red jeep"
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I agree
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-03 00:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for "sorry red jeep"
i laughed.
if you like drinking and drunk stories, read some of my drunk stories. theyr'e moderately amusing.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-02 23:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
amusing. solid +1 effort.