one of these days (593 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.9 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by splintergirl (View user info) at 2004-12-03 15:53:06 EST
i'm not going to be one of those idiotic kidnappers who drag victims into their big black vans in an alley in bright daylight. no. i have been planning this for months now. there will be no signs of struggle.
my toyota is waiting for her when she gets out of school. she recognizes me and leans into the window. i'm so close now. just get in the car.
i convince her to let me give her a ride home. she doesn't question how i already know where she lives. she's just glad to not have to take the bus again. she mentions her parents are gone, i don't say that i know they both work long hours today. i notice that she is a little nervous with me. she never did know me that well, we happen to have a mutual friend and she never really did make that step into getting to know me. this makes things a lot easier. she doesn't know what i am capable of.
she's nervous, and she's trying to be good at hiding it. she mentions how we're both girls, we have a bond that other people don't, we understand each other. i'm older so i can teach her what i've learned about boys. i keep nodding at stealing glances at her neck. she doesn't notice.
we get to her house. she tucks her hair behind her ears. she says how she likes my new short haircut, how it makes me look like a completely different person. she grabs her books and invites me in for a soda. returning the favor for the ride home. she does hate that bus ride. i follow her through the front door. i know i don't have to lock the door. her neighbors mind their own business. she points me to her room, saying she'll be there in a minute.
as i walk down the hallway, i notice a picture on the wall. she must have been at least eight when this was taken, pretty in pink. i let my fingers turn the frame to an angle. in her room, her bed sheets are white. i make a mental note not to take things near the sheets. i get my bearings, thanking her silently for letting me in her room alone.
i hear her walking down the hallway, saying that she hopes i like pepsi. i hope she didn't open the can yet. i am waiting for her when she walks into the room. she doesn't even blink when my blade appears next to her throat. maybe she was expecting this. but no, i can feel her shaking against me. her fear is obvious, she never believed me.
i assure her softly that i'm not going to cut her neck. i feel her relax. poor girl. so afraid. so naive. she mutters something about why her, careful not to let her throat move to much. this makes me smile. she doesn't even remember.
i tell her to keep quiet. i praise her pretty eyebrow ring as i pull the pliers out of my front pocket. her eyes widen. i pull slowly on the blue metal, nothing will be quick and painless for her. she faints i rip the skin above her eye. supporting her body i lay her on the floor, binding her to the dresser.
i walk to my car, remove my bag from the trunk and return to her room. she's still out. i open the bag and spread my tarp out on her carpeted floor. i shift her body on top of it, undoing some knots but keeping her right arm and leg tied to her dresser. she opens her eyes at my moving her and squints to try and see what i'm doing. i have no tools, which comforts her. she hasn't noticed my nails.
grown long and filed to points to make things easier. i smile down at her and move my knife out of her line of vision. one hand on her forehead, i keep her from seeing what i'm doing. i make one gentle cut across her abdomen. she screams and i let her. i place my knife at her side and push my fingers into her wound. i remove everything that comes into contact with my fingertips. she is crying.
i stop my work. placing my trophies next to her head, i pack them up one by one. wrapped in bright paper. presents for the others.
no one ever believes me.
(not all will be violent.)
User Reviews
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2004-12-04 15:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't insist on it, all i asked in the first place is that it be read for what it was. and that those reading didn't make a comment just to say that i didn't capitalize. sorry it pisses everyone off so badly. and i've said that it's only with this type of writing. whatever.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-04 14:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I tried to be nice about it. A 0 is, after all, Worth Reading. But since you're not happy with it and you still insist on your "style," all I can tell you is to take your lowercase letters and choke on them. Fuck you.
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha, the shift key is so hard to find, and you're so funny for pointing it out.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-12-03 19:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You got it *totally* wrong. The next line is, "I'm going to cut you into little pieces." And next I suppose you'll want someone to take your mind from the voices screaming, "Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?"
I know, I know, all lower-case is your style, and your style is coo'! No. Your style sucks. There's a little button that reads "Shift" on either side of your keyboard, which will, while depressed, cause a secondary function to occur, often a capital letter. Examples include A, B, C, and D. Use it. It will make these much easier to read. This isn't poetry, and you're no Cummings.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-03 19:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Holy fucking breath mints, this sucked.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-12-03 16:41:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa very dark.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-12-03 16:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i think you meant to thank the one person who liked it.
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2004-12-03 16:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for those who like it. again, i don't use caps when i write stuff like this. other stuff i do use caps, maybe i'll actually submit that stuff later.
shay, i'm not counting your opinion because i don't believe you've ever submitted anything longer than a paragraph.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-03 16:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 for no caps.
-1 for stealing my title!
Don't believe me?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51900
RIGHT THERE...
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-12-03 16:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have some serious issues with wanting to gut someone like a fish...don't you?
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:59:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Most stupid thing I've read in my life.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked imagery. Well done.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This is Ubersite. I shouldnt have to think to see the point.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wooooooooooooo.....
Go death!!
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-12-03 15:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yay torture!