The (Almost) Fight at the Christmas Parade… (1040 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 0.77 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2004-12-03 22:16:41 EST
Less than four hours ago I showed up at the Christmas Parade for my town with a few friends. I wanted to go because I knew there were going to be some people that I know there, and there was also supposed to be a huge gang war. Gang wars don't happen much in small towns.
Anyways, I got there and walked about a mile to where the parade was set to start. I saw some people I know, so I crossed the street and stood with them.
Then came the first wave of black guys. Easily twenty guys all thugged out jogged to the parking lot across the street from where I was standing. Within thirty seconds, another wave of about twenty came. Then a smaller wave came. All in all, there were about fifty-five black guys in the parking lot.
I knew there was supposed to be a fight tonight. Supposedly, last year a black guy punched a Mexican guy in the back of the head for no reason, and the Mexican pulled a knife on him. The black guys took the knife and beat his ass.
Mexicans hold grudges for a long time.
We crossed the street when we saw the black guys moving. All fifty-five of them formed a long line and began to circle around the neighborhood. My three friends and I followed them. One of the girls I was with walked ahead of us, and was greeted by a friendly warning from one of the black guys.
"Yo, don't follow us if you ain't got no heat."
Now I've seen this all before. There are no sixteen year old black guys in my area that actually own guns. They like to act like it, though.
We followed them around the block twice, eventually ending up back in the parking lot where we had started. They all jumped the fence into a yard and congregated around a rather large house. I stood my ground, leaning up against the building across the parking lot.
Suddenly I heard a screech, followed by several short but loud outbursts. I think it was in Spanish, because I understood none of it. The woman then began yelling in English. Apparently her son was in the group of black guys, and she was ordering him to return, and telling him that his friends suck. Wise old Mexican wench.
I stood out near the road, far out of the view of the people I was with, and made conversation with a lovely young lady that I used to cheerlead with. We talked for a while and eventually exchanged numbers (even though we already have each others' numbers on a cheerleading contact sheet.) I looked back towards the Mexican home and saw Snowman.
Snowman is his nickname. He's about 6'4" and maybe 200 lbs. Very clean cut Mexican. He takes the whole "white tee" thing way too far, though. He got his nickname when, on the first day of school, he wore: A white NY baseball hat, a white tee, a white long sleeve shirt, a white puffy jacket, a white belt, a white pair of pants, and a white pair of shoes.
I hug Erin and say goodbye, then make my way back to the parking lot. From where I stood, I had a clear view of the entire living room of the home. I saw Snowman and about thirty more Mexicans. On the porch of the house, I saw about thirty more, mostly women and children.
Snowman walked into my view. I saw him pull his cell phone out of his pocket and dial a number. I saw him walk towards the window and stare out, summing the opposition up. I saw him hang up.
I walked around, asking several of my black acquaintances if they knew what was happening. All of them denied any involvement in the war that was planned, yet I heard several of them speaking of how they would "kill those spic faggots.'
About ten minutes later, eight state police cruisers pulled into the parking lot and sixteen officers got out, opened up the trunk, and pulled out stun guns. The mass of black people suddenly changed their tune and began to watch the parade.
Three of the cops stepped forward and surveyed the situation. I walked towards them.
Me: "What's going on?"
Police Officer: "It's a parade."
Me: "Obviously. But what about the crowd of people that dispersed when you guys arrived?"
PO: "What crowd?"
Me: "The crowd over there. All they did is move."
PO: "I guess they don't like the police."
Me: "Maybe."
PO: "So what are you doing?"
Me: "Watching the parade."
PO: "Doesn't look like it to me."
Me: "I got sidetracked by the fact that sixteen state troopers arrived and armed themselves with stun guns."
PO: "Right. Have fun."
Just as I'd thought. One of the two groups had completely pussed out. And I wanted to see some minorities get arrested, too.
On a side note, if anyone finds a black Honda CRX with the tag "T HEINZ," please let me know.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-12-09 02:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30966#517646
Too bad that will never happen... RIP DBD.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-12-09 00:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-09 00:49:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, look! A negative two!
-----------------
Two can play this game.
Oh, look! A positive two!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-12-06 11:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There was too much "I saw this", then "I saw that" then "I saw this", then "I saw that". You need a different vehicle to tell the story other wise the post just becomes an 'eyesore'.
Not bad apart from that though so have a zero
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-06 10:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Male cheerleader!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2004-12-05 02:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"All fifty-five of them formed a long line and began to circle around the neighborhood."
Can you say CONGA LIIIIIIIIIIINE!
Sorry. -2 because it was really hard to follow what with all the ridiculous ness and bad grammar and just.. well... by the end of the post, I couldn't remember why I started reading it. Sorry bud.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-04 07:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you would have learned how to throw your voice, you could have started the entire fiasco by yelling racial epitets, videotaped it, and sold it to one of the 34 TV shows, in syndication, that love showing gratutitious violence.
Lesson learned? Take ventriloquism in school.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-04 00:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tiiiiim. stay away from trouble! you know it always seems to find you!
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-04 00:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah boy, we DE niggaz iz hard, we come with the pitchforks like fire nigga!
Submitted by Montejebus (user info) at 2004-12-03 23:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where I live, there are a lot of issues with racial violence. It has nothing to do with white people, in all honestly. It's between hispanics, blacks, and sometimes Asians. What it all comes down to is "Who is the best minority?"
Fuck it. I'm the best minority. They can lick the mighty nutsack of Montejebus.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 23:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cock back, lock, load, and pop gats
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Yo, don't follow us if you ain't got no heat."
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Yep, Delaware just screams "gangsta's paradise".
I got my twin Glock 40's... cocked back...
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
J, I was laughing my fucking ass off for about half of it.
Then again, that could have been the copious amounts of narcotics I ingested beforehand.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So, a gang of latinos and a gang of blacks were going to throw down at a Christmas parade? And they planned it? I didn't think anyone was THAT big of a loser, let alone two entire groups of them. To borrow a line, "Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus!"
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My estimate for this post:
It will have about a .83 average when all is said and done.
If I'm lucky.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Minority fights are always fun.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I asked you a question on your last post. It is impolite to ignore young man.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-12-03 22:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh