A poem to a friend (948 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.82 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eric Hays <agulot.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-12-04 04:56:13 EST
I can't wait to see your face
To hold you in my warm embrace
To feel you close
And hold you near
Our bodies not apart by space
To see you smile up at me
You will set my trapped heart free
No longer there
Cause now your here
This is where I'm meant to be
I long for you more each day
You've filled my life a special way
I'm not alone
You're in my life
My life will be complete that day
So I will wait until your here
And I will wait to have you near
It won't be long
You'll be here soon
And you will never have to fear
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-12-04 15:07:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52990
A far better poem than yours.
(Plus one only because i'm linkwhoring)
Submitted by Fleury75 (user info) at 2004-12-04 11:35:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well it has good intentions but im just not feeling the emotion. i believe the person who wrote this shows promise and could probably write a lot better. More descriptors would add color to this poem.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-12-04 11:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I generally hate poetry.
This I despise.
Sorry.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-12-04 10:44:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm a sucker for corn rows...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-04 10:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a sucker for love.
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2004-12-04 09:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, nice attempt but...the poetry wasnt great. And I sure hope you havent given it to her, because its too....wussy. Youre giving her all your power by "spilling your guts." Youre forfeiting any chance of sexual tension between the two of you. Though she may go "awww" for a minute or two after reading it, if youre going for romance and/or sex........this is the wrong way, bro.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-12-04 09:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now all you need is a friend to give it to...good luck with that.
Submitted by acidreflux (user info) at 2004-12-04 09:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please allow me to re-write. I believe I can summarize every feeling, every ounce of heartfelt admiration, in 5 lines:
I can't wait to see your face
Covered in my spoo
To feel you close
And hold you near
Then smear you with my poo
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-04 05:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This is not good poetry in the least. It sounds like a high school assignment, and it's not creative in the least. You know? I can almost picture you thinking, "Blah blah blah face, blah blah blah embrace..... what the hell rhymes with face and embrace and can be meaningful... trace? No... chase? Nah... space? YEAH! That works!"
-1 because I truly HAVE seen better. Sorry.
Submitted by agulot (user info) at 2004-12-04 05:02:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks Circe did not know that. See some people can be helpful .. give an honest review (not my best) ... and still be polite.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-04 05:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
DNF
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-12-04 04:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
It's generally frowned upon to post more than once a day.
And this was not very good poetry.