Fable 1 - Pot and Alcohol don't mix. (901 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.56 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UlfGabe (View user info) at 2004-12-06 12:46:36 EST
One day, alcohol and marijuanna were having a conversation. Let us see what they are talking about.
"Without me and my relative, Hops, you would have nothing to make beer with!" Exclaimed Mary the plant excitedly, thinking she had won a crucial battle against Al.
"Very true Mary, but I feel that a contests is in order to solve whom is the stronger of the two intoxicants." Replied Al.
Thinking quickly Mary replied, "I challenge you to smoke this much of my premium bud." Satisfied in knowing that her bud was best and could knock out cows, she produced a thick 1 pound brick of the purest hash ever to exist.
Wondering if he had lost, Al replied, "I don't think that would make such a good joint"
"So true!!" Mary exclaimed. Knowing she had won, she did a little dance around the room, loosing some ripe buds, which she added to her already excellent stash.
"This premium Hooka bong right off the jet should do the trick!" The bong was covered in gold leaf, etched into intricate patterns. The hands of many a customer had partaken in this one bong, a communal offering to the Gods was its first purpose. The years had been kind to it, and now it resolves the greatest dispute of all. . .
"Just add me to the bong water so that I can smoke it all as long as you can draw breath." said a defeated Al. The sour tones of his gurbles could be heard by everyone in the room. Heron shifted nerviously in his chair, trying to stay away from his Ex . They had a falling out over the years. The party scene had been cruel to most of the patrons.
Like that, she did. Trying not to spill any she added Al to the bong water and stuck the brick through the feeder mechanism. Having suitably mixed Al and the water she adjusted the O2 canister and lit up the bong . . .
--
5 minutes later she had finished her haul. Al was nowhere to be seen. The other patrons were horrified. Coke was shaking, and not from withdrawl. He pointed and stammered; Yo..you Ke..k.kILLED Al, now what am I suppose to do?
GHB woke, and couldn't remember what had happened. Upon seeing the bong he abruptly fainted again.
Knowing she had won Mary triumphantly held up the bong as a trophy. She cheered and gave waves to the crowd of horrified onlookers, who knew a legend had passed them on.
To ruin Al's reputation in death worse than she had already done, she proceeded to drink the bong.
Finished, she made a few final words to the crowd, "I just had the munchies, that should do for now"
The next morning Mary was dead. Al walked out of her room and spoke to himself, "Silly plant, tricks are for ... waIT! I mean don't drink the bong water. Yes... that's better; indisputable evidence of my power, stupid plant! The smoke just goes through water, I was faking. In drinking me, you killed yourself. Plants and alcohol do not mix, they cannot. Looks like you are joining your cousin Hops this time at the brewery."
And so ends our story. The sunrise over the village was smiling upon all. Todays lesson had been learned, what is in store for tommorow?
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User Reviews
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-12-09 17:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"GHB woke up and couldn'tremember a thing."
Gold.
But you forgot rohypnol.
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-12-07 12:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its a wonder you guys can even live.
i wonder if you can understand the easy symbolism presented here.
al=alcohol
mary=marijuana
hmmm..
i think some people lost sense of themselves.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-12-06 16:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
?
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-12-06 16:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ouch. This post was painful. Im sorry I really want to give this post a better score. I get the feeling that you laughed your ass off while writing this but its just not funny. Lay off whatever it is your on before posting.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-12-06 14:33:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because..
IT'S MY MUTHAFUCKIN 21ST BIRTHDAY!!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2004-12-06 14:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I was thinking maybe you had to smoke and drink to get this, so i smoked and drank, and it still didn't make fucking sense
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-12-06 13:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was horrible. Worse than the headache you get from too much resin.
Worse than Al-Qaeda.
Worse than George Bush. (BOTH of them)
Worse than an ingrown hair next to your anus.
Yes. It was THAT bad.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-12-06 13:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
U are the Suck5!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-06 13:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
because "I've seen better"
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-06 13:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Um.... what?