Can I come back to the Site? A Foamy semi-apology (718 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.36 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Captain "BIg Balls" Foamy (View user info) at 2004-12-06 20:05:42 EST
To all Ubersite officials and interested persons, I Captain Foamy, have been banned for a while now and I would like to come back to the site. The terms of my re-enstatement will be as follows
1) I will continue to make fun of peoples little boners and curvatures of the spine
2) I will often make posts that have no meaning or any significance other than telling people their moms are fat and I peed on them
3) I will continue to post my website at the bottom of every post I make including this one
- sidenote, you will go to the site or I will fart in your mailbox
- your mail will stink
- your pen pal will stop talking to you
- and netflicks will stop sending your movies
4) I will Not however spam peoples posts to any harsh degree or deliver negative 2 ratings
-unless someone pans Danzig
These are my terms for re-enstatement back onto Ubersite. I suggest you accept them. Anyone who supports the re-entry of Captain Foamy to this site can post support here. Anyone who disagrees can post their home phone number and I will be sure to call at 330 in the morning and yell Scott Baio on your answering machine.
Continue to rock, or suck, your choice!
http://www.geocities.com/captain_foamy
User Reviews
Submitted by Fuckface_Jones (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:44:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
None of these people are leaving their phone numbers :(
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-12-08 17:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Lets get this mother on the heated list! fuck yeah!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-12-07 09:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YOU foamy
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-12-07 06:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-07 06:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your site gives me sex wee.
Submitted by KoolMung (user info) at 2004-12-06 21:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Captain Foamy ButtSex Allstars Test
World-accessible: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16198971058904417025
by captainfoamy
0 of 20 answered.
1. Captain Foamy has the ability to find and punch what?
dogs
trannies
trees
trumpets
2. What does Foamy have little to none of?
remorse
fat girlfriends
limp boners
all of the above
3. What DIDN'T Rodney King do?
build stonehenge
make a rap album called croutons in my porridge
obey the laws of physics
coined the term
4. George Bush got caught doing what?
eating babies
huffing farts
jerking off
watching my little pony
5. How much faster can Foamy run than you?
a lot
20 percent
he can't
I'll stab you
6. When Foamy crank called Alexander Gram Bell what did he yell?
Your moms not slim
You suck
Keenen Ivory Waynes
Boner for your mouth
7. What do Ludwig Von Crunkthovens super powers consist of?
shitting himself constantly
jerking off nearly non-stop
crying when he colors outside the lines
all of the above
8. What did Glen Danzig do?
deliver a baby then pee on mother
Invade Poland
DDT George Washinton Carver
Make ALF do his dishes
9. Captain Foamy is a candidate in the 2004 presidential election, what issue is not on his platform?
punching your wife during sex
beating fetuses
foriegn policy
Punching dogs
10. Captain Foamy peed on your moms back in zero gravity then pushed her into the sun.
True
False
11. Captain Foamy votes for Reagan to this day.
True
False
12. Foamy got his grandpap a birthday cake, what did it say?
Happy Birthday Pappy
You're a true a badass
Rock the crib
Try not to shit yourself, old faggot
13. What is NOT true about fucked up dog?
he shot the sheriff
he wrote the last book you read
he will correct your homework then shit on it
he cares what you think
14. Foamy has various tips for kids, which one of the following is not one of them?
Scissors make you run faster
Punch your dad
Stop signs are for grownups
Cigarettes don't cause cancer, seat belts do
15. How many times has Captain Foamy sodomized you?
I dont know but when I fart I smell cock lazers
600 times and my butthole leaks when I'm thirsty
Once, and it rocked!
Not as many times as he buttfucked my grandpap
16. Captain Foamy refers to what artist as a "sodomy genius"
Ringo Starr
Van Morrison
R Kelly
Justin Timberlake
17. Finish this Foamy poem, Roses are Red, violets are blue...
your mom has ass lice
your dad smells like dude balls
I'll punch your dog in the fucking neck
please, please, don't get stabbed
18. Foamy suggests ways to pull the maximum number of hoes, what should you say when you see the hottest chick at the party?
God you're delicious!
Your ugly as a sack of wet buttholes!
munch my scrote bag
boner for your face
19. Captain Foamy is a monster bad ass
True
20. Obviously Foamy's site is the best on the net, why are you so lame?
your weiner is small/your vadge is big
you wish Foamy would hang with you
Foamy farted in an envelope and mailed it to you
your nipples overlap
Submitted by KoolMung (user info) at 2004-12-06 21:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Foamy really up'd the quality of his website.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-12-06 21:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome back Foamy
Submitted by KoolMung (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish told me to welcome you back.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*fart*
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, your shit posts, AND Danzig.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:30:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, what a persuasive argument. Frankly, we should be begging YOU to come back, not the other way round. I completely agree that you should be reinstated forthwith.
Did that sarcasm come off online?
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. Make sure to check the Foamy archive for hilarious posts and evidence of why I got ejected in the first place! peace
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:11:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell no i been kicked out for 6 months. They will never let me back. You just watch.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
does the posting of this site mean that you have already been reinstated?
just curious...
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A post about a random fart would've earned a solid +2.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:07:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-12-06 20:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets here it people!