Come back to the Kingdom of Florin, Cary Elwes, Cary Elwes. (1146 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.47 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by dodahdave (View user info) at 2004-12-07 16:20:22 EST
Who doesn't love the movie The Princess Bride?
It's got everything you could possibly want: hammy acting, great lines and hilarious hijinx carried out by Sicilians, giants, Dread Pirates and six-fingered men.
The performances are top-notch. Andre the Giant may not be the greatest actor ever, but he's perfect for the role.
Wallace Shawn gives some of the more memorable lines in the film as the mastermind behind the plot to pit two nations against each other in war:
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line." "
"I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition."
"INCONCIEVABLE!"
Mandy Patinkin can act circles around most other people you see on screen without breaking a sweat (and without his pants on). He gets some great lines, too:
[In response to Vizzini's cry of "INCONCIEVABLE!"] "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
"Let me 'splain. [Pauses] No, there is too much. Let me sum up."
[And, of course] "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
The central character in the film, though, is Westley, aka the Dread Pirate Roberts, played to perfection by Cary Elwes. He plays it as a mixture of Errol Flynn's Robin Hood and Robert Redford (in a non-ghey way).
Interestingly, Cary Elwes also played Robin Hood in Men in Tights. Many people are not fans of Mel Brooks 's films, so I won't belabour the point. Suffice it to say that it was a gay romp (I mean ghey, wait, I mean... screw it), and that Cary was great as the campy Robin Hood.
Which brings me to my point.
I recently took in a showing of "Saw," an ill-conceived little piece of shock-trash pseudo-horror featuring Cary Elwes as a doctor who can't keep his accent straight caught in a confusing mess of a film. This film took the worst parts of Silence of the Lambs, Scream, The Cell and any other half-assed horror movies you care to mention, and threw in the Dread Pirate Cary as the lead.
The movie, as I believe I may have mentioned, is terrible. Cary Elwes, though, is so terrible as to make the other performances look pretty good. How terrible, I hear you ask? Well, Westley is able to make a junkie woman with a ticking bear trap on her face digging through a man's intestines look like she's a method actor.
So I come before you today with a plea for Mr Elwes: we're all begging you to return to campy movies. These movies make you shine, and make us all flock to the video store to rent them. If you want us to help you put your grandchildren through university, I suggest you fire your agent's ass and contact Mel or Rob, and get back on the wagon!
(P.S. +2 on the next post of the first person to tell me what play this title is paraphrasing.)
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-25 01:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-06-25 01:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the ROUSes?
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2005-02-25 16:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why didnt i see this post sooner?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-25 15:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a shortage of perfect breats in this world. It'd be a pity to damage yours.
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-25 04:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you failed to mention a couple of other gems of his in between 'princess bride' and 'saw'...
That "crush" movie with alicia silverstone, and his role as the annoying suitor in "liar liar" with jim carrey.
I don't think actors like him really care about the movies they make, or being famous.
They just go for a quick buck and spend the rest of the year sitting on an island sipping mai tais.
If I HAD to be an actor, like if it suddenly became mandatory... that's definitely the mindset I'd subscribe to: quick buck, then long vacation.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-02-25 00:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i HATE that fucking movie, it is RETARDED
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-02-25 00:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-02-25 00:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God that man is funny. Princess Bride and Robin Hood pwn all. Saw wasn't that great, but I will admit ending took me a bit by surprise(I though it was the butler).
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-24 10:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God, I love Princess Bride.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-02-22 14:45:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome. It should have more reviews than it does.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-22 14:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is really good, I wish I had read it before.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-12-08 14:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-12-08 09:06:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Love 'Princess Bride'
Love 'Men in Tights'
Hate, Hate, HATED 'Saw'
I said the same thing. He was so great in his older movies! Even 'Crush' with Alicia Silverstone. *sigh* I miss him.
Oh, the play is: Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
Correct?
DING DING DING DING DING!!!!
We have a winner!!
I shall now go to your next post and deposit a nice, steaming +2!
Nice work WiKi!
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-12-08 09:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love 'Princess Bride'
Love 'Men in Tights'
Hate, Hate, HATED 'Saw'
I said the same thing. He was so great in his older movies! Even 'Crush' with Alicia Silverstone. *sigh* I miss him.
Oh, the play is: Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
Correct?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-12-08 08:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-08 08:36:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Princess Bride +2.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-12-08 08:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Princess Bride +2.
And the title inspiration is going to drive me nuts. I know I know this but I can't think of it. GAH!
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-12-07 21:35:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-07 16:30:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
I love "princess bride" and "men in tights"
I do not love this post
well, i liked it enough.
<raspy> welcome to the pit of despair </raspy>
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-12-07 18:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"why wouldn't you end with a picture of him as the dashing Westley?"
I'm trying to convince him to give up the 'serious' acting, and I'll even threaten the (unfortunately named) Buttercup to get my point across.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-07 17:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well. I like the post because I rather like Cary Elwes in everything I've seen him in (I haven't seen Saw yet and doubt it will be worth it), but why wouldn't you end with a picture of him as the dashing Westley? This post was, after all, titled after him, not The Princess Bride.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-12-07 17:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cuz I met Wallace Shawn in an elevator last year.
All I could think the whole time I was in that elevator was INCONCEIVABLE!!!!
hehe...I didn't say it, though, cuz I'm sure he gets that a lot.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-12-07 16:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good night San Francisco!
No, I'm sorry, this is not correct.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-12-07 16:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I love "princess bride" and "men in tights"
I do not love this post
Good night San Francisco!
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-12-07 16:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I watched it just last night.