Ambition 5: Sacrifice (long) (714 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stardamage (View user info) at 2004-12-08 10:27:13 EST
continued from:
Ambition 1: Awakening - http://www.ubersite.com/m/53093
Ambition 2: Meeting - http://www.ubersite.com/m/53208
Ambition 3: History - http://www.ubersite.com/m/53560
Ambition 4: Flight - http://www.ubersite.com/m/53643
* * *
Davoren awoke with a start. His cloak was glowing at the edges with sunlight, though none came close to him. Kai still had not returned, and Davoren figured he must have burrowed into the earth somewhere to rest for the day.
He stretched and yawned. The sun had not spread over the horizon yet, but it was very close. He could feel the sunlight searching for him, for a hole in the cloak that would allow it to slip through and burn him, to make him sick.
Suddenly, he sat straight up and listened intently, first with his ears and then with his mind. Desperation flooded his brain, Kai's desperation, and it grew more intense. (Davoren! I'm coming!)
Davoren instantly sent out an image of where he was, now fully alert and awake. (Where are you?)
Kai gave him an image of the tree line - he was standing just before the sun's territory, staring at the glaring light. Davoren shuddered as he remembered that it was sunlight all of the way up, that the cliff was exposed.
(Just dig in somewhere! It is too dangerous to come all of the way up-)
(There's no time! I'm coming!)
Between that statement and Kai's first scream of agony, there seemed to be an eternity. (Kai! Keep moving! No matter what, do not stop!) He felt sick as he realized that it was midmorning - the sun fully up and powerful.
He heard Kai's frantic scrabbling up the rock, and then he wrenched the cloak aside and fell into the cave, the cloak falling silently back into place; mercifully, Davoren had not been hit by sunlight. Kai was still screaming, arching his back as cries of pain were slammed out of him. Davoren could hear skin burning away and winced.
After a few minutes, Kai stopped yelling, on his knees and his forehead to the floor, his hands clenching his hair tightly. He was exhausted and the acute pain had subsided to be replaced by a sickening ache that throbbed though his whole body. (Kai?) Davoren knelt down next to him. (You should lie down. Can you move on your own?)
Kai tried to stand and failed, then to sit up straight and failed at that, too. Davoren saw this and picked up the now trembling Kailestis, carrying him to the coolest, darkest corner, trying to ignore his stifled cries of pain. He set him down gently, but Kai's face was still tightened in pain, blood running down his chin from where he bit his lip.
(Like I said, sleep if you can. I will watch for you. You'll be pretty sick for the next few days.)
Davoren reached for Kai's cloak pins and took them out, and then carefully unwrapped Kai from his cloak. Kai clenched his teeth and hissed as the cloak came away, revealing a blood soaked shirt.
(Can you take your shirt off? It's better to let air get to the burns and if we let the blood dry it will make your shirt stick.)
Kai's hands were too badly injured to deal with the buttons, so Davoren reached for his dagger and cut the shirt away, flinching in shock at the extent of the injuries.
Since Kai had had his back to the sun when he was burned, his back was covered in thick blisters, some of which had opened when he was thrashing and were leaking plasma. On his forearms, where the sun had actually touched him, the skin had mostly burned away, blood leaking out of the wounds, and on the back of his left hand the bones were almost visible through the thin sheath of skin left. The sun had charred the flesh almost entirely away from his hand, so no blood came from the wound, but it would take a long time to heal, if it ever did completely. Kai rolled onto his stomach and tried to move his shirt under his head as a pillow; Davoren did it for him. (Sleep with your hands stretched out, palms down, so if you wake up, your burns won't touch the floor.)
Davoren draped Kai's cloak over his burned back, and Kai cried out and tried to rise.
(Trust me, you'll be glad for this later; you'll probably start getting sick today or tonight. When you start to feel dizzy, wake me up.)
Davoren tried to make it sound like a simple illness that could be easily overcome, but underneath his casual manner he felt a current of worry running through him. Sunsickness had killed vampires much stronger than Kai who had had less exposure than he had. He felt a tickle of almost amusement coming from Kai, who had felt all of it. Not amusement at the idea that he could die, but that Davoren had thought that he could hide it.
(Go get some sleep. I'll be okay here.)
(Remember, when you start feeling sick, wake me.)
(I will.)
Davoren crawled a little bit away and laid down to sleep. He heard Kai try to rise but after a few minutes he slumped back down onto his chest. Davoren noted that Kai's breath was getting slower as his body tried to cool down. But there was nothing that he could do now to help, so he rolled over and tried to sleep.
* * *
It was late afternoon when Kai woke Davoren.
(What's wrong?) asked Davoren, immediately awake.
(I don't feel so good.) There was a pool of blood next to Kai and a trickle of blood at his mouth.
(Dammit, Kai, why didn't you wake me up when you were just feeling dizzy?)
(I thought-) What Kai thought had to wait while he leaned over and vomited blood again, the thick red liquid pouring out of his mouth. He coughed and spat, more blood dripping into the pool he had made.
"This isn't a light matter, Kai," said Davoren out loud. Kai winced and Davoren lowered his voice. "You know that you could die here. Your life could end. So next time I tell you to wake me up when you're feeling worse, do it." His voice was tight, and then relaxed. "Now, how long have you been throwing up?"
"About half an hour, whispered Kai.
"How often?"
"I've thrown up six times. I don't think I've got much left in me."
"Well, you'll have to hold it in from now on. It's not good for you to lose so much blood so fast when you're sick like this. So if you can swallow the blood, do it. At least until nightfall when I can get something for you."
"Davoren. What else will happen to me?"
Davoren studied the young Kailestis, who had now risen to his knees, wincing. His pupils were dilated so much that his eyes looked black. His skin was a furious red, and Davoren knew that it would be hot to touch. As Kai had vomited, Davoren had noticed that plasma continued to ooze slowly from the blisters that had not yet healed. True, his external wounds were looking much better, but the illness was only just beginning. Davoren himself had survived a bout of sunsickness when he was less than two centuries old, but just barely. Davoren knew from experience that after the burns themselves faded, after the initial bout of vomiting that lasted for a few hours at minimum, Kai's body temperature would rise ever further to dangerously high levels, higher than any human could survive. If the fever did not break, convulsions would follow and then unconsciousness, and death if his temperature did not fall, accompanied always by ever intensifying headaches, bloodthirst and pain in the limbs. Davoren knew all of this and said it out loud, watching Kai's reaction.
Kai took it calmly but under the expression on his face Davoren felt dread and fear, a sense of helplessness. He felt his own stomach heave slightly with Kai's intensity.
Suddenly Kai fell forward, supporting himself on his hands and coughing. Blood ran from his mouth and Davoren said, his voice harsh and thick, "Kai, swallow it."
Kai closed his mouth with difficulty, fighting his instinct and then forcing the blood back down his throat in one swallow. Finally he sat back against the wall, breathing hard.
Both vampires sat in silence for a while, thinking their own thoughts, until finally Kai said, "I think...I don't think I have to throw up anymore. I'm going to try to get some sleep."
"Yeah, you do that," said Davoren, pulled out of his thoughts. "Sleep's the best thing for you right now. If you wake up and I'm not here, I'm probably out hunting. If you start to feel yourself getting more of a fever, let me know and I'll come right back. Okay?" Impulsively he reached down and put a white hand on Kai's red shoulder, trying not to flinch at the heat. "Kailestis...you very well might have traded your life for mine. I thank you for that."
Kai simply closed his eyes. Davoren rose and studied the light coming from behind the cloak. Another hour would bring the evening and a chance for Davoren to go out and find blood for himself and Kai.
Davoren sat back against the wall, watching Kai sleep and trying to think of a plan in case his ally did not survive.
User Reviews
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-28 12:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
catching up...
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-18 20:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the idea of vampires getting "sunsick". That's cool. You made it seem gross and unpleasant.
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2004-12-16 17:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excelent
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2004-12-15 13:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the criticism. I'm hoping that a lot of what you brought up will be resolved somewhat in later entries. If you feel that after a while it's not really been covered, please let me know and I'll try to make it clearer.
I'm aware that all of this could use a lot of revision; what usually happens is that I just sit down and start writing with only a very general idea of where I'm going with it and almost no idea of how it's going to get there. I only have a very vague idea of how it will end, for example.
Thanks for reading and critiquing. (how is that spelled?)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-15 12:50:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2004-12-15 09:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff, you asked for some critisism. Here are a few points that might have increased my reading pleasure:
We don't really know anything about the characters, where are they deriving their morals from?
Arn't vampires soulless selfserving monsters?
How come they are still in a hole in the ground? I would have had them leaving, possibly on the run in a city.
Actually really I should read more then comment.
*taps fingers on desk, looks around sheepishly, but presses Rank anyway*
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2004-12-08 13:56:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I've got about forty pages of this written (single space, even!) so far. It'll be a while before I have to stop to write more, don't you worry.
Wow, I'm glad this is getting such a good reaction. If you have any criticism or spot any inconsistencies please tell me.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-12-08 12:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
keeeeeep going!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-12-08 10:56:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.