So whats the fucking point of it all anyway? (1032 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: The_Office
Rating: 1.47 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spam (View user info) at 2004-12-09 04:46:41 EST
The internal fire of my rage threatens to once again consume me.
I sit at my laminated pine desk, starring at the same useless information on the same flickery monitor, answering the same plastic phone to the similarly plastic people when the true extent of my failure hits me: I lead a 'trite and meaningless life'.
It never used to be this way... did it? I hope that in the past maybe, just once, there was a time when I was content, when I painted out my dreams on the limitless canvas of my imagination. Were it ever the case, I am unable to picture it - my imagination, like my dreams, has withered and died, slowly crushed by the oppressive weight of my gradual realiseation. Realisation that I've wasted so much time.
Am I destined for an eternity of masking my contempt? Contempt for the 'work' I do, the robotic drones I do it with, the soulless company I do it for and the ultimately valueless money I earn for doing it? Having asked myself the same question each day for as long as I can remember, I am forced to finally relent and answer with the affirmative - this acquiescence pains me in ways, as a human, I was never supposed to be able to bear.
The truth is I'm tired.
Tired of waking each morning, only to wish that I could go back to sleep. Tired of forcing myself into a personality that has never fitted, because the 'real' me is deemed 'offensive for the workplace'. Tired of making the journey to a place I hate, surrounded by miserable commuters all facing the same struggle, all infused with the same hatred.
I grow weary of the meetings, the buzz-words, the forms, the statistics, the "Performance Improvement Plans" (PIPs), the gossip, the stale, conditioned air. Weary of sweating my balls off one moment, only to have to wear a scarf and coat 5 minutes later because the building has only two temperatures: Satan's Hot tub or Helen Mirram.
I am drained by the shop talk, by the shitty coffee, by 'profit margins' and how they effect our EBIT (like I fucking CARE!!). Toilet breaks, screen breaks, fag breaks, tea breaks, lunch breaks - Why can't I get up a do what the fuck I want without having to pigeon-hole it as some sort of 'Break' as though it is pre-ordained -Your Job Is Your Sole Purpose, Anything Outside Of This Is A 'Break'.
I am offended at the idea of strangers talking to me like shit, merely because their high tolerance of the taste of seaman puts them in a position to be able to do so. Offended that ANYBODY could conceive that the phrase "I may never buy from you again" could possibly have any kind of positive effect on the level of service I supply.
The cloak of spurious enthusiasm I am forced to don with each dawn is wearing thin, and strands of my true identity are escaping, furious of their enforced captivity. I want to lash out, to sing, to stand and throw coffee at the mail girl, laughing maniacally. I want to scream in my bosses overly made-up face: "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I WAS 1 MINUTE LATE THIS MORNING - IT WAS ONE FUCKING MINUTE. SERIOUSLY, SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT!?".
Once, just once, I'd like to find a parking space that doesn't involve me having to pack supplies for my journey to the main building.
I want to do anything, just anything to break up the tedious monotony of my florescent lit purgatory.
Instead, I just sit here.
Answering phones,
Filling in forms,
Apologising to customers,
Sacrificing my self-respect,
Swallowing my pride.
Dying one break at a time.
" Everyone else is busy,
But I alone am aimless and depressed.
I am Different."
Lao Tsu; Tao Teh Ching
User Reviews
Submitted by JustPassingBy (user info) at 2006-12-14 07:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the best things I've read in a long time, I can relate to every single sylaball, and I can't spell sylaball.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-26 08:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always feel like this when I miss a few hours of sleep.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-26 08:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang on...
You mean you work in the same place as me?
Here is your performance review -> +2
Mate, at least your uber KPI's are solid?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-26 02:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-30 13:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2% and it's all because of my
motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more
donuts to come.
-- Homer Simpson
You Only Move Twice
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2004-12-30 11:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, work sucks, unless you are one of those people who actually found there "dream" job. I hardly see the point in looking for a job I like more because it would still be work. I would still have to wake up in the morning and go through the same bullshit I go through now. I think the best thing to do, is to spend as much time as possible avoiding doing any real work and getting paid for it.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-12-30 11:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are pissing and moaning.... but you're doing it so genuinely and well.
Beer is on me pal. I'm leaving soon - you should come along.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-12-30 11:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes you do definitely work at my office. I am now certain of it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-15 22:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unrelated but rip roaring hilarious
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=110305253554397206#1021978
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
so move to the sticks and buy an alpaca farm and shut the fuck up.
you have to walk a long ways from you car to your building? OMG! Thats like fucking inhuman! they should have a tram waiting for you when you pull up with someone to hold your hand when you get on so you dont slip and fall.
your the problem...face it
Submitted by krootons (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have some heroin. Oxycodone works too if you prefer the cleanliness.
Nullify your life.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-12-09 08:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You need drugs. Good drugs. Good or bad, they will change your life. haha
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-12-09 07:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Part 8 Solitaire (from Altar Ego)
When will the genius arise so strong that the strong
shall fear him, so simple that the beast can understand him?
-- VACHEL LINDSAY (1879-1931)
One who has no god, as he walks along the street
Headache envelopes him like a garment.
-- KING TUKULTI-NUNURTI (c. 1300 BCE)
The wonderful thing about solitaire: no matter how many times you play, it is always just as much fun each time. The game was supposedly first invented by a prisoner in the Bastille, after a sympathetic guard gave him a deck of cards.
How often do you suppose Egon Bondy played solitaire, in his prison cell in Czechoslovakia? Once, in prison, he wrote:
"...you who are poets
Bear the responsibility for everything
concerning [humankind].
You shall redeem concentration camps
and the bestialities of police
and the putrefaction of affluent regimes."
When you are in prison, any prison, it is often the case that, as Martin Bramah said, "The only way out is UP."
On the other hand, which way is up?
"Indeed, it is very difficult to understand the world as it is, for, although it seems true, it is not, and, although it seems false, it is not. Ignorant people can not know the truth concerning world."
-- Buddha
What you want, what you're hanging around in the world
waiting for, is for something to occur to you.
-- Robert Frost
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-12-09 07:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Linkwhore!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53841
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-09 06:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Well done, you're a cubicle slave like the rest of us.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-12-09 06:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I Had - Eminem
Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off
I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour
then this boss wanders why I'm smartin off
I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me
saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
Know what I'm sayin?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what I'm sayin? Right now I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city
Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?
But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?
Just fed up
That's my word
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-09 06:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, cathartic. Just the word I would use to describe this post. Forgive the spam, but mine is more whiny. With more evacuation.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52891
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-12-09 06:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:45:49 (#)
Ranking: -1
All been said a gazillon times before, your struggle is not special or entertaining.
----------------
yeah, I know.
It WAS kinda cathartic though.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
All been said a gazillon times before, your struggle is not special or entertaining.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This has summed up exactly how I feel at work, except it's only my office that has two settings, I always called one of them satan's armpit.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i can dig it.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus motherfucking 2.
I'm feeling you on this one.
Can you look back at your life and pinpoint the moment it became trite and meaningless? I can't, mine just spiralled away from me until I reached this numb state of acceptance.
SCREW THE SYSTEM, WORKERS REVOLT! Make your tea break last 47.5 seconds longer than it should, have an extra cigarette at lunch, wipe your snot on the back of your bosses over-inflated shoulder pad.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-09 05:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and
admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no business being
a clown! I'm leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in
the clowning business.
-- Homer Simpson
Homie the Clown
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-12-09 04:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
'Everything sucks except sex.'
---shitfuck