ETS IS GOING DOWN. And not in the good way. (Guitar Battle PART DEUX: FIGHT!) (2010 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 89 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lessthanfour <ossum.at.ossum.dot.net> (View user info) at 2004-12-09 09:46:03 EST
First there was : http://www.ubersite.com/m/53679
Then came: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53811
Next: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53826
And finally, the MotherPost. THIS ONE.
You think I'd let you rip on me like that, ETS? You think your amazing licks and boss riffs would go unanswered?
YOU THOUGHT WRONG.
Suck on this, fatboy.
Suck on this HARD.
Is it Slash or is it Memorex? I'll let the voters decide. But don't fuck it up like when you voted for Bush, ok?
http://www.ossum.net/ETSgotfuxedup.mp3
P.S. I hope it's not considered cheating to use effects, I totally applied reverb to my guitar.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-12-11 16:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I ran into ETS Wednesday....
I scored a 700 on the GRE. Is that good?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-12-10 13:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahaha. this rules. you guys rule. need a roadie?
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-10 12:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it was just a random Lojope bash. I hear those are all the rage.
P.S. Caulain court, congrats on getting the joke!!!! Hifive _o/\o_
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-10 11:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's disgusting to NOT strip naked and fuck someone because they play guitar? I know man, fully clothed people are fucking gross.
Maybe I need a new dictionary or something...
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-10 10:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Heh, ETS.. We'll forgive you. Eventually.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-10 09:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-10 02:41:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
All I have to say is:
life is too fucking short to squabble over petty differences. Embrace the variance! Kiss the colored lampshade....you fucking morons!
I just hope you can one day understand...
I hope you can one day look your brother in the eye and tell him you love him....
I hope you can one day look yourself in the mirror and like what you see.
------------------------
MAN, was I drunk last night!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-10 02:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All I have to say is:
life is too fucking short to squabble over petty differences. Embrace the variance! Kiss the colored lampshade....you fucking morons!
I just hope you can one day understand...
I hope you can one day look your brother in the eye and tell him you love him....
I hope you can one day look yourself in the mirror and like what you see.
Submitted by jenngd9 (user info) at 2004-12-09 23:28:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gideon Yago? That hurts.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-12-09 23:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to listen to Paradise City after hearing this just to cleanse my ears.
Submitted by skweetis (user info) at 2004-12-09 23:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is just ass. but what do you expect from a gideon yago, pillow biting, emo wannabe.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 22:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the song is still fucking funny
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 22:41:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I finally got to listen to the song. hahahahahha
And stonedsilly is jealous.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 22:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What, were you listening to Eddie Murhpy's RAW on the way over here? Seriously, my brotha!
P.S Circe, you're the only one for me, babe. BABE.
--
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-12-09 21:38:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the funniest things I've listened to all day
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-12-09 21:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the funniest things I've listened to all day
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-12-09 21:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
I'm not gonna bother to make any funny comments. They'd go unnoticed amongst the pseudo-lesbo "Aren't I edgy?" banter.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 21:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jenngd9 (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:24:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
If slash solos in the woods, and no one is there to hear him, does he still rock?
And highschool rocked.
-------------------
YES I DO!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 21:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Come on kids...lay off Lojo, she's a pretty cool cat in my book.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Edmonton Transit System? Yeah, the buses here suck...
Submitted by jenngd9 (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If slash solos in the woods, and no one is there to hear him, does he still rock?
And highschool rocked.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God, I miss high school.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It took her that long, Stoned?
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 14:50:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul, I would never strip naked and beg you to fuck me because of your guitar playing.
--
lojo, you're really beginning to fucking disgust me.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ETS, I'm Ubering from a laptop wifi connection at the hot tub place but you are nowhere to be found. Have I.. have I... been.. stood up? :(((((((((((((((((((((((((999
*SOB*
P.S. Degreeless, is that so bad? Highschool can be fun in random (small) doses.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-09 19:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubersite will always be High school all over again.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 19:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP Dimebag Darrell
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 17:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope, I can fake a french accent. Care to make Oui Oui in the hot tub with Electrofroof and i?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 16:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 15:30:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
P.S. ETS: when are we hitting that hot tub?
--------------------
Well, let's see, I have a proctologist appointment @ 4, and I am seeing my gynecologist @ 5...apparently he wants to see if the operation 'took'. Whatever that means....
But I am free after that. Say...8ish?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 15:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT?!?!?!?! Caul, how could you do this to me? Why would you shatter my hopes and dreams?!?!?! You bastard! I could have loved you.... :oP
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 15:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope, flattering but I don't have ze sexy franch aczent like you see in ze movies.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 15:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, and I just realized, the photoshop looks like I was trying to make Ghost Rider. NOT MY GOAL.
P.S. ETS: when are we hitting that hot tub?
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 15:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do it for the pussy. That version of Sweet Child has gotten me laid more than all the female members of Uber combined. INCLUDING BART.
OH NO YOU DIN'T!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-12-09 14:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:52:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
*head snaps....whipesshht!*
<Chinese film with English overdub> So....you think you can fuck with the master, Ossum san? I shall show you in a way that is very insulting to you! And it will come very soon...or tomorrow by the latest...hahaha</Chinese film with English overdub>
======================
Am i the only one who said that ou loud as it sould sound in said chinese film with english dub?
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-12-09 14:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It made me smile.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 14:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul, I would never strip naked and beg you to fuck me because of your guitar playing.
I'd do it because of your sexy Frenchman accent. :oP
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was much better!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your first reply implied you played for groupie, so I just assume you did. I suppose I was wrong.
Wouldn't be the frist time.
I haven't lost my sense of ironic humor, you're just not funny.
Just kidding I love you, you Pop Idol. =)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were yourself being ironic there, then that's irony in a dimension that my human brain cannot fathom. Worm holes have opened up in the fabric of spacetime and shit.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Has everyone on this site TOTALLY LOST their sense of ironic humor!?!?!? Come on Caul! You think I seriously do it for the pussy!?
I don't think I have EVER gotten laid because I played the guitar....EVER! At least not that I know of... I'd much rather think it's because I am extremely sexy and they just want me for my doggy style! That's much more gratifying.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I call myself a True Artist. Pffffffff, just kidding. Anyone who says that deserves to have every single of his vital organ punctured.
Seriously, everyone has different reasons and motivations to play. For you it's pussy, for me it's a simple stress relieving hobby.
And I think picky is pejorative. I prefer calling it "having standards".
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf? ETS all the way!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 13:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You got something against chicks with minds of 12-year-olds??? And you call yourself a guitar player! BAH! You, sir, are too damned picky...and you don't understand the value willing, half-naked, stupid women! I pity you, sir.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay ETS, but don't include me with you "frauds". I don't play for the groupies, as you put it. In fact, I will discard any woman who reacts this way because there's a damn good chance she's got the mind of a 12 years old New Kids On The Block groupie.
Besides, I never understood this logic. Every guys I hanged out with in college were musicians and could sing. It's not like it's a huge achievment.
Bah...fuck it.
Have fun fucking your fan club =P
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I still find it amusing how few people rated this post without actually listening to the mp3, and those who did listen took it seriously. I mean.. Wow.
Shlongy? wow. Blitzkrieg_bob? Wow. whataefag, WOW.
Thanks for the amusement, bitches!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:04:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Homo Christ. They'll be cutting fresh flowers for each other next.
--------
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Comment of the week.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Court: stop complaining or you'll end up giving us all away for the frauds we are! Noone is supposed to know that we only do it for the groupies! You are giving away state secrets here!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm always suprised how some girls become amazingly stupid whenever they hear a dude singing with his guitar.
I can't even count the number of stupid bitches who barged into my bedroom while I played my guitar asking me "oh please, sing me something, oh please pretty please, make me wet, tee hee".
Just an observation.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-12-09 12:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Homo Christ. They'll be cutting fresh flowers for each other next.
Bwahahaha.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:58:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok ok Lojope.. if it would make you unbearably hot, here goes.
ETS: I guess we'd better not tell him how your whole body shudders when I slide my fingers inside you, while I kiss and nibble on your ear and squeeze your breast with the other hand....
----------------
Oh, I just love it when I feel so comfortable in my sexuality that I can take this sort of gheyness with a spoon of sugar....this is NOT one of those times.
Truth is...it's turning me on just thinking about it, your sexy body next to mine...lying together like a couple of homosexual rainbows...
That's too steamy for the steam room! We need a hot tub... ;)
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, nothing like a little masturbation before class to make homework actually seem fun.
Thanks for the mental images, Stin, it was jolly good fun.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You ladies are distracting from my studies. And it's worth it. :(
Pictures pls!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:34:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's no good, I must go to the bathroom.
I can look at this post no longer, you just turn me on too much Lojo.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know about them, but you know how I feel about that suit.... oohhh baby...
I never did get the chance to show you what I can do with that riding crop and some whipped cream did I? You'll love it, we must get together soon!
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
True story: I have handcuffs. In my trunk. It didn't go over too well last time I drove to Canada. I had some splaining to do! Fortunately, they are the trick kind that have the little latch to undo them, in addition to having a key. The end.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you still have the handcuffs, you and me, ETS and <4 can have a whale of a time with that new strap-on you bought the other day...
Do you think they like PVC catsuits, because I've just got mine back from the cleaners after that unfortunate incident with the chocolate spread.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahaha.
Shlongy strikes again. You crack me up, so you do!
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
tuning the guitar might've helped. But in general, I'd say ... just stop fucking playing. Try the keyboard, it'll sound better for a man of your 'talents'
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha <4!
Stin, remember the time we invited that hot italian guy to join us? The way it felt when I ate you out while he was ramming me from behind.... each thrust pushing me against you harder and harder.... my moans vibrating against you making your moans match mine....
Yeah... that was good...
By the way, love, I still have those handcuffs...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-12-09 11:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't think we'd even let you TUNE my bands' guitars. In fact, I'm not sure I'd even want you in the audience.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad it's making you hot too sweetness, I may just have to lock the office door and think about the last time...
God you do things with a vibrator which could melt the polar icecap.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok ok Lojope.. if it would make you unbearably hot, here goes.
ETS: I guess we'd better not tell him how your whole body shudders when I slide my fingers inside you, while I kiss and nibble on your ear and squeeze your breast with the other hand....
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:54:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope's a giver. Who knew!
----------
And a damn good one at that!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man... is it wrong that ETS and <4 talking like this would make me so unbearably hot?
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, even though I still haven't actually read the post. Lesbian cybering in the comments = +2. Plus, I get free lessons in what my girlfriend likes. I mean...I already knew, but you can never get too much help.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope's a giver. Who knew!
and Silvr, just be glad Stin and Lojope started talking like this, or me and ETS would be forced to. *shudder*
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man! I've got the giggles today.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! HEY! HEY! Lips on special places?!?! What kind of debauchery have you and ETS unleashed here, lt4? And by that, I mean good show.
...the inmates are running the asylum.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True, true...
I guess we'd better not tell him how your whole body shudders when I slide my fingers inside you, while I kiss and nibble on your ear and squeeze your breast with the other hand....
Better not...
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If the poor man's having orgasms over that little bit of text, he won't want to know how much you like it when I flick your nipples with my tongue and stroke your velvety-soft skin with the feathers you keep on the bedside table, will he? Or about the way your hair feels tickling the inside of my thighs, my love.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where do you come from? 1952?
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, actually I can play all those things, and MORE BETTAR than electrotoothsunday or whatever his name is.
Except Little Bo Peep. I have to admit that he's got me there. ETS, here's some props for your Little Bo Peep skills: PROPS.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh god Lojope, now that's just gross. I was trying to eat breakfast, too. I don't know what passes for making wub where you come from, but here it is kissing each other on the cheek after dinner and then GOING DIRECTLY TO SLEEP.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's Axl, Drone_of_Industry.
Can you play Stairway, <4? What about Teen Spirit?. Can you play the 12 bar blues?
Little Bo Peep?
Frere Jacques?
Anything by Oasis?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really? Just from that?
I didn't even tell you about the times when Stin lets me press my lips against her special place.... kissing her softly... then sliding my tongue out and licking every inch... her hips rocking... a moan in her throat.... licking and sucking and kissing her until the moan breaks free and carresses my ears... she pulls my head closer.... my tongue slides deeper inside her......
I didn't even get to tell you about that part.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You'd better stay away from the uberladies too.... They belong to me. Just me. Notice how I didn't say "you"!?
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH MY GOD where do I send the money? Seriously, I just had about 8 orgams reading that hot, steamy text and feel I owe you monetary compensation!!!!!!!
HELLO LADIES!
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If Axle was still alive today, he would be very proud.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the whisper-scream
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes, Stin, my love. We have been making wub wub for many moons now.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But you know Lojo and I are in love?
Aren't we darling....
(Come on, work with me on this one Lojo, I think we could get money out of him.)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta give a high five to you - it takes some talent to play that badly.
seriously...
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Totally_Useless: You should listen to the mp3 to hear my beautiful beautiful voice along with the ridiculously hot licks I can play.
Stin & LoJoPe: Who loves ya, baby? You're the only one for me! (I am so smooth they don't even realize I am playing them off each other!!!! YES!)
Everyone else: You're just jealous. With a capital G. J. J. GJJealous.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was talking about lessthanfour.
But I wouldn't kick ETS out of bed in the morning either, come to mention it...
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:12:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I meant less than four.
I did not need to know how you might ravage ets's cock like a vulture on fresh roadkill...
I know ets can sing. He almost puts me to shame...
...almost. ;-)
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What does it matter if he can sing? He's cute!
He'd be singing by the time I'd finished with him, at any rate.
Did I really just say that?
Tehehe.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-12-09 10:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh like a mother fucker... and I don't know why.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but can you sing?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*head snaps....whipesshht!*
<Chinese film with English overdub> So....you think you can fuck with the master, Ossum san? I shall show you in a way that is very insulting to you! And it will come very soon...or tomorrow by the latest...hahaha</Chinese film with English overdub>
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow guitar battles!
It's like Arthur Smith's Battling Banjoes!
Only gayer and infinitely more annoying.
This post is the literary equivalent of having thrush.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-12-09 09:47:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing like cranking up the reverb to hide your suckiness.