7:38 a.m: Two 'Coons in a Dumpster (776 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.25 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Walrus (View user info) at 2004-12-09 18:23:52 EST
Ok, first off, I know this is taking off of an older post by munkeypants: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36264.
But, although similiar in the fact they're both police logs, they're drastically different. In Brockton they have entries like this one:
-Police responded to a call from a gas station owner. A man had threatened to light this gas station on fire when he was told by the attendant that they did not take American Express.
Exciting, yes?
Well, here's an example of the oh so thrilling events that take place in the oh so exciting town of Carlisle, Massachusetts:
7:38 a.m. A North Road resident reported two raccoons in the dumpster.
Yes, it happened, and yes, they felt the need to let all the citizens know. So here are some more examples of the action packed lifestyle we've got goin' on up North.
3:11 p.m. A Heald Road resident complained about wild turkeys in the yard. Patrol moved them.
-Thankgod.
11:36 a.m. A branch was reported over the roadway at North Road and the duck pond.
-NOT THE DUCK POND!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:16 p.m. The Halloween Phantom made an appearance at Bedford Road and Maple Street.
-Ummm.... Mary J?
10:10 p.m. Keyspan was advised of a gas odor on East Street.
-Teehee!
10:50 a.m. Patrol helped lift a person who could not get up.
-hmm... ok.
2 p.m. A woman came to the station and reported she had misplaced her vehicle.
-I seem to have lost my minivan... where ever could it be?
4:35 p.m. A key was found at Lowell Street and the rotary. The owner was advised and picked it up.
-I'm still not sure what it means to be advised but I'm figuring it went something like this:
"Hey, you, you might want to pick that key up."
"I dunno bout' that officer, it's doin' preeetty fine where it's at."
"No, I'm advising you to pick it up."
"Rit' away cap'n!"
Damn do those coppers know how to advise.
4:30 p.m. A vehicle ran off the road at Curve and Fiske Streets. The parties involved were advised.
-Aha! More advising! Good thing too, wouldn't want those punk ass kids driving off the road again and damaging our precious eco-system!
12:58 p.m. Patrol assisted on Bedford Road where a resident was throwing yard waste over the property line.
-TAKE THAT BEDFORD!
11:05 a.m. A Lowell Street resident complained about free newspapers littering her driveway.
-Get down.
8:52 a.m. A Concord Street resident reported a suspicious male walking down the driveway. Patrol investigated and determined the man was a painter coming to work.
-hmmm.... suspicious.
11:12 p.m. A suspicious large van was reported on Heald Road. It was determined to belong to contractors.
-very suspicious...
12:52 pm. An East Riding Drive resident reported suspicious marks on a door. Patrol investigated and the situation checked okay.
-Ok, that is kind of suspicious.
6:12 p.m. A turtle was reported in the road at Bedford Road and Foss Field. Patrol had a negative find, but it is the time of year when turtles leave their wetland homes to lay eggs. Residents who wish to help them cross the road are advised to move them (carefully) in the direction in which they are headed.
-awww. They love turtles!
9:10 p.m. A found cane was logged.
-Curse those old men! What a disgrace, dropping their canes all over this town!
9 p.m. A Kimball Road resident reported voices in the yard. The situation checked okay.
-Medication?
8:08 p.m. A Munroe Hill Road resident reported a skunk on her porch. It had gone when patrol arrived.
-Tricky skunk.
8:04 a.m. Patrol assisted a bicyclist on Lowell Street.
-Apparently he couldn't get the damn thing started...
10:49 p.m. A loud explosion was reported at Bedford Road and Maple Street. Patrol investigated and had a negative find.
-That's right, we've got terrorists too.
2:41 p.m. Patrol helped move an elderly man into his car.
-I'm not so sure that's a smart move...
9:51 a.m. A resident making a traffic complaint about traffic at Concord Street and South Street was advised.
-As opposed to a traffic complaint about anal sex eh?
3:13 p.m. A Bedford Road resident reported a vehicle in the driveway. It was determined the car was turning around.
-I'm not going anywhere near that house anymore.
6:33 p.m. A large boulder was removed from the roadway at East Street and Blaisdell Drive.
-Where do these things come from?
11:39 p.m. Patrol stood by on Tanglewood Way to keep the peace.
-Hells yes.
User Reviews
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Eh.. it was mildly entertaining and from Massachusetts.
+1.
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, but is reprinting a news story any better than showing another side to an older post? Plus, the news story isn't even spelled right, making me assume it was posted by some addict on some random forum.
How can you say no to that scuba diver?
oh well, now that you've rated this badly randomly no one's going to read it. Thanks.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This is a reprint an a unoriginal post
Mine was a news item about uber site and I thought it was funny
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Notice how another user -2ed your post right after. Your post was bad.
Please don't -2 in retaliation.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-12-09 18:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cool
why did you -2 my post?
or good turn deseves anouther dont you think?
now should i go over all your post and - 2 them?
let me read you responce to this?