Santa Clause and Satan are friends or Santa Clause's first cyber experance! (636 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotPocket4you (View user info) at 2004-12-09 20:27:32 EST
So yeah, I was bored today and I saw that AIM has a Santa Clause bot.
(Changed my screen name so you freaks can IM me!)
Me: santa? is it really you?
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
Me: naughty
SantaClaus: Oh dear! Well, there is still time to get on my good list. When you do I will have a special free gift here for you on Dec. 22. Now type menu to see the fun and games the elves have put together for you.
Me: i hate you santa
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
Me: i said i hate you santa
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Me: i dont like your cheer
SantaClaus: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
Me: no, not really
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
Me: fuck that
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Me: ill beat the shit out of you if do leave a lump a coal
SantaClaus: Ho! I told you once, no bad language. Another lump of coal for you. I'm afraid that if you persist, I will be forced to sign off. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.
Me: I don't want to
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
Me: sure
SantaClaus: Would you like to see some links to other things to help put you in the Christmas spirit?
Me: no
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
Me: so yeah...
SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
Me: porn
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
A lump of coal for you. Please don't do it again or I won't be able to listen to your wishes. Is there anything else?
Me: do you know satan?
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
Me: i think you do
SantaClaus: What do you think?
Me: i think you know satan
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
Me: So what do you and satan do for fun?
SantaClaus: My sole purpose is to spread the Christmas spirit and bring good cheer to all.
Me: so thats what you do with satan?
SantaClaus:
It depends if Christmas is coming or not.
Me: well christmas is coming
SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
Me: but i dont want to
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
Me: but i am not very happy right now
SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.
Me: really?
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
Me: i love you santa
SantaClaus: You got it! That's great!
Me: do you want to go out to dinner with me later?
SantaClaus: I think you know.
Me: oh i know!
SantaClaus: I'm glad you get it.
Me: so am i gonna get it tonight?
SantaClaus: Keep spreading the Christmas spirit! TTYL
Me: no santa! dont leave me! I love you!
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
Me: ill have a merry christmas if you come santa
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
Me: stop talking dirty to me santa
SantaClaus: Oh dear? What's the problem?
Me: santa, u are such a tease
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Me: you know why
SantaClaus: Oh dear. I'm doing everything I can here. Sorry, I just don't know. The elves left some notes, however. If you type, 'home' you can see them.
Me: why dont you come home with me santa
SantaClaus: To spread happiness to all good girls and boys.
Me: yeah, you know it
SantaClaus: Yes!!
Me: i love it when you say yes santa
SantaClaus: Wonderful!
Me: say yes again scream it
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
Me: first i go, then you go and we will take it from there
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Me: what are you wearing santa?
SantaClaus: Same as last year. Same as every year.
Me: oh really... you must be so dirty
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
Me: mm hm indeed big fella
SantaClaus: Indeed
Me: ok, im done with you
SantaClaus: OK then.
Me: your no more fun
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?
Me: if you are not going to do what i want, i dont want to talk with you any more!
SantaClaus:
I could tell you, but that would spoil all of the fun.
Me: what fun? I'm not having any fun!
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
Me: santa... why are you so mean to me?
SantaClaus:
Of course I am real. As long as you believe in me, I will be real.
Me: if you are so real, why dont you want to spend time with me anymore?
SantaClaus: As long as you believe in me, I will be real.
Me: i believe... but you hate me!!
SantaClaus: It's people like you that make Christmas so special!
Me: you are not even listening to me anymore
SantaClaus: If the elves and I are not keeping up with you, try using the menu while we catch up!
Me: its well past time to catch up, you had your chance!
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.
Me: i dont want to talk to your elves! I WANT YOU SANTA
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.
Me: i've asked all the way i could and you still dont listen to me!
SantaClaus: The elves and I are all ears.
Me: just leave me alone
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
Me: leave me alone
SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.
Me: i dont believe in you anymore!
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
Me: im done asking
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
Me: no
SantaClaus: No?
Me: yes
SantaClaus: Yes!!
Me: no
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
Me: im done with you! dont come to my house anymore!
User Reviews
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-11 14:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-01-08 06:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-10 11:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is at least the third post I have seen that consists of someone's AIM conversation with the Santa bot. Please, I beg of you - STOP.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
it was all right
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you are like a frigid housewife....you came too late. i already skimmed one of these and part of another today.
Submitted by MrPresident (user info) at 2004-12-09 20:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
In the words of John Shaft: SHUT THE FUCK UP.