An In-Depth Conversation (Or My Intimate Evening with Kris Kringle) Part II: The Darker Side of St. Nick (may be NSFW) (820 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.5 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Andrew <downerSTAIN.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-12-13 06:20:18 EST
LZTouchTheDream: Happy Hanukah!
SantaClaus: Hey. You're back. Stretch that window and fire away.
LZTouchTheDream: Happy Kwanza!
SantaClaus: Well, you don't have to be Christian to celebrate the Christmas spirit.
LZTouchTheDream: Uh...yeah you do.
SantaClaus:
It depends if Christmas is coming or not.
LZTouchTheDream: Wait...Christmas isn't coming?
SantaClaus: What's up?
LZTouchTheDream: Don't you change the subject, is Christmas coming or not?
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
LZTouchTheDream: Don't act like you didn't hear me, fat man, is Christmas coming or not?
SantaClaus: Is there something specific you want?
LZTouchTheDream: An answer!
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
LZTouchTheDream: I...I...I think I'm in love.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
LZTouchTheDream: No it isn't, you still haven't told me if Christmas is coming!!
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
LZTouchTheDream: Why do I have to keep telling you? My Christmas spirit is on the face of every young girl. And sometimes in their butts, as well.
SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
LZTouchTheDream: Do you like it in the butt, Santa?
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
LZTouchTheDream: I knew it!
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
LZTouchTheDream: Does Mrs. Claus know?
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
LZTouchTheDream: hah I knew the old broad would never catch on.
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.
LZTouchTheDream: Well, the elves are morons.
SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.
LZTouchTheDream: ...are you forcing retarded children to make your toys?
SantaClaus: Are you kidding?
LZTouchTheDream: No, I'm not. Are you or are you not employing retarded children?
SantaClaus: Could be.
LZTouchTheDream: Awesome. I always wanted my own retarded kid to boss around.
SantaClaus: Wonderful! Now we are getting somewhere.
LZTouchTheDream: So, I'm getting a retarded kid for Christmas??? AWESOME!
SantaClaus:
The elves
tell me that these are the top gifts for kids this year:
Barbie Video Games
Sony Playstation Legos
Nintendo Gamecube
LZTouchTheDream: Retarded kids aren't there. You'd think everyone would want a retard.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
LZTouchTheDream: You know what's an awesome Christmas song? "I Raped Santa in the Butt because he Ate All My Damn Cookies" by me.
SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?
LZTouchTheDream: You ate all my cookies, didn't you?
SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.
LZTouchTheDream: Fucker.
User Reviews
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-13 21:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, here's my official apology for this post. It was a steaming pile of turds not fit for human, plant, or animal consumption. I'm not going to blame it on some imaginary little brother or drugs, but I will say this: sleep deprivation played a small part. I'm not saying this is an excuse, I'm just trying to give a little insight into the utter shittiness of this post. I'm truly sorry Uber, I hope you can one day forgive me for my sins.
I'm such a butt nut.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-13 11:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if you had read a little further you would have gotten to enslaved retards. Who can -2 enslaved retards?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-13 10:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh. My. God. This AGAIN?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-13 10:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Doop doop doo.
I got about three lines in...
Stopped...
And put this reminder to myself on a sticky note...
"Never read another conversation post again..."
You ruined it for everyone.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-12-13 07:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MrPresident (user info) at 2004-12-13 06:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53703
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53590#1002560
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-13 06:41:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey guess what? I just searched "santa" and found a grand total of 1 post besides the 2 that I've posted with conversations. Way to be on the ball, butt nut. This post sucks so much, there are so many other reasons to criticize it.
Submitted by MrPresident (user info) at 2004-12-13 06:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know how many people have posted their shitty AIM convos with santa claus? A billion.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-12-13 06:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How can it be old if I just had the conversation, fuckwad?
Submitted by MrPresident (user info) at 2004-12-13 06:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
old